The Blotter April 16 2008

Girlfriend needs a little less Sprite in her life

YOU SAY POTATO, I SAY PO-TAH-TO: At a luxury condominium building in Midtown, a security guard called police about a fight at one of the units. An officer arrived and spoke to the man who lives there. "I saw a little spot of blood on [the man's] pants," the officer noted. The officer asked, "How did you get blood on your pants?" "[The man] stated he and his girlfriend got into an argument about french fries and Sprite. [He] said [the girlfriend] got upset and smacked a glass cup with her hand. [He] said [the girlfriend] cut her finger on broken glass and grabbed his pants while they were talking things out." The girlfriend, age 26, had a small cut on her finger. She said there was no problem. The man said they had a simple argument about french fries, and his girlfriend got upset and started to overreact. The girlfriend agreed to leave the condo for the night.

ROLL WITH IT: A woman in a wheelchair — who goes by the street name "Sexy" — flagged down an undercover cop on Donald Lee Hollowell Parkway. The officer wrote, "[The woman], who is in a wheelchair, did state to me that if I exited my vehicle and stood in the rear, where no one could see, she would give me 'head' as she sat in her chair, in exchange for $20." Sexy said she doesn't usually do this, but tonight she did. Sexy is 57 years old. She was arrested and sent to jail for soliciting a sex act.

GRANNY'S GOT A GUN: Someone called police about "a demented person waving a rifle and verbally abusing construction workers" on Jett Street, an officer wrote. The officer went to the scene and spotted an 82-year-old woman in an apartment. "She was talking loud, in obscenities," the officer wrote. The caller said the elderly woman had been outside, walking around with a rifle — and this rampage had been going on for several days, but no one had called police. The caller said the elderly woman would yell at anyone on the street, all while toting the rifle.

More police showed up and tried, without success, to talk the elderly woman into leaving her apartment. A neighbor gave police a phone number for the elderly woman's daughter. "[The daughter] informed officers that her mom was demented and she had shot and killed her father in 1977." With that new information, police called for extensive backup, including a SWAT unit. "After several hours at the location, the decision to make entry and/or remain at the location was dismissed and the units were ordered to stand down," an officer wrote. An officer in an unmarked car stayed behind, in case the elderly woman left.

RACIST Phone sex workers? A 24-year-old man on Clifton Road called police about obscene phone calls. He said he called to get a massage therapist, and a woman said they do not service people of his race. The man played a voice mail message for police. The woman used a racial slur and told the man never to call her again, because she would have stalking charges put on him. "The female caller went on to say that it would be her word against his and that she had a friend who was a cop who would lock him up," an officer noted. The man was very distraught. According to the police report, the man called a phone number listed in a magazine ad for "Hot Phone Sex."

THE TAXMAN COMETH, PART 1: A 31-year-old man said for the last two years, an unknown person has falsely claimed his two kids on his or her income tax return. According to the police report, one child's middle name is "Believe" and the other child's middle name is "Peace."

THE TAXMAN COMETH, PART 2: An officer saw a black Honda Acura with drive-out tags parked in a no-parking area on Kimberly Street, near East Point. The officer noted the Acura was parked in the wrong direction, causing cars to cross into oncoming traffic to get around it. The officer gave a parking ticket to the driver, a 53-year-old man from Stone Mountain. The officer wrote: "[The driver] said he always parked in that manner every year he came to the residence to do taxes."

PEOPLE STEAL WEIRD SHIT: A 25-year-old man wearing camouflage shorts walked into a grocery store on West Peachtree Street. He allegedly tried to steal two boxes of sushi. He went to jail.

Also, at a Wal-Mart on Howell Mill Road, a man allegedly tried to steal eight packs of Kool-Aid, two boxes of toothpicks, and some popcorn. He went to jail.

STICKING POINT: Police saw a man leaving a vacant house on Griffin Street. The house had been condemned by the city of Atlanta — and a sign was clearly posted. An officer stopped the man and asked why he was at the house. According to the officer, the man said he was looking for used needles on the property. He went to jail on an "occupying a placard property" charge.

LOST THE LOTTERY and YOUR FREEDOM: On Broad Street, an officer saw a woman tear up a lottery ticket, throw the pieces on the sidewalk and walk away. The officer asked her to pick up the pieces of paper. "I ain't got to do a fuckin' thing you say," the woman replied. "I am not picking up that." The woman, age 30, was charged with littering and went to jail.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words. Want more? Listen to the Blotter Diva on 92.9's (Dave FM) "The Zakk Tyler Morning Show" every Tuesday between 6:30-7 a.m.

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