The Blotter June 09 2011

The family that cooks together ... winds up with knife wounds. A 23-year-old woman was pulling apart lettuce with her hands in the kitchen, when her mother-in-law — well, the mother of her baby’s father — walked in with a green-handled knife and suggested she cut the lettuce instead. When she ignored the helpful advice, the woman claims her baby’s grandmother stabbed her.

The grandmother basically corroborated, saying that she saw her daughter-in-law ripping a head of lettuce apart, breaking a house rule that lettuce be cut with a knife. She said they began to argue and she felt threatened, so she stabbed her grandchild’s mother.

An officer who reported to the scene wrote, “The handle sticking out of [the woman’s] arm was a clear, green, thick plastic handle about six inches long.” At Grady Memorial Hospital, doctors removed the green-handled knife and gave it to police as evidence. The young woman is in stable condition, and is expected to fully recover from the lettuce kerfuffle.

YOU’RE IN JAIL FOR WHAT? Officers stopped and attempted to ticket a man they spotted casually strolling through Piedmont Park — at around 2 a.m. (FYI, night owls, Piedmont Park is officially closed from 11 p.m. to 6 a.m.) The man, a 24-year-old from Stone Mountain, became belligerent and yelled that police “were assaulting him and sexually violating him by stopping him in the park,” an officer wrote. “He said he didn’t like the city ordinance about being in the park after hours.” The man made clear he was determined to continue his late-night meanderings, so the officers took him to jail.

DIAPER DISAGREEMENT: On McDaniel Street, a 23-year-old woman said she called her child’s father and told him their little girl needed Pampers. When he didn’t oblige, she called again, but this time she put her daughter on the phone to tell Daddy that they needed Pampers now. The father fetched the diapers, but he wasn’t happy about it. When he delivered the goods, he threw the box of Pampers and a shoe at the woman’s face (she wasn’t hurt) and said, “Don’t you ever have my little girl call me for some Pampers.” Sounds like Daddy needs a diaper change.

EX MARKS THE SPOT: After an argument with her ex-boyfriend, a young woman returned to her Angier Avenue apartment to find that her former beau had beat her there. From there, the fight escalated and the ex reportedly grabbed a bottle of bleach, removed the top and threw it at her. The woman said she put her arms over her face, but the bottle struck her arms and some bleach got into her eyes. The ex-boyfriend — who left in a taxi — is described as being 6 feet tall and slender with an “extremely large head” and a tattoo on his arm that reads, “Rest in Peace, Larry.”

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.