The Blotter July 07 2011

At around 5:30 on a Friday morning, a security alarm began blaring at a Baptist church on Ruby H. Harper Boulevard. When an officer showed up, it appeared that someone had stood on two concrete blocks they’d stacked on top of an A/C unit behind the church and opened a window. Nothing was missing from the church. In fact, the suspect left some goodies behind. On the ground beneath the window, the officer found “a pink bag containing a clock, a church robe and a bag full of candy canes.”

NOT-SO-BIG BANG: One evening, a 27-year-old Harper Road resident said she tried to cook something on her gas stove, but the stove wasn’t working. The next day she noticed that her hot water wasn’t working, either. The woman said she called the gas company and they “came out and told her that someone must have lost control and drove their car into her house, damaging the gas line on the right side of her home.” So she called police.

The reporting officer wrote, “I could see tire marks in her grass leading toward her gas line. The gas line was bent over and there was a large hole in the side of her house.” Apparently, the woman never saw or heard a car slamming into her home — or noticed the “large hole” in her house — until she realized the gas was out.

BUCKHEAD BETTY’S BIG MISTAKE: A 30-year-old Buckhead woman said she drove her black Jaguar to a bank on Piedmont Road and left $1,000 cash in the glove box while she went inside. While standing in line, the woman had a thought: “What if I left my Jaguar unlocked?” Oops! So the woman raced back outside to check on her car and — lo and behold — the $1,000 was missing.

The woman said when she initially parked her car, she saw three men in a silver SUV next to her. She’s seemed sure they were the thieves, but, unfortunately, couldn’t describe them at all to police. No fingerprints were found on her Jag.

CHEMICAL IMBALANCE: A homeless man had been digging in a Dumpster outside a wastewater treatment facility, when he called police because a chemical substance he’d stumbled upon had splattered on his arms and legs. A cop said the man “had visible scaring that looked like whelps [sic] and skin peeling,” but he repeatedly refused medical treatment — perhaps because, as police surmised, it was a possible mini-meth lab.

SPLURGE DENIED: A pair of brand new Fendi shoes deserve more attention than a Florida woman paid hers recently. She was in the food court at Lenox Square at around 6 p.m. when she put her Fendi shopping bag down on a counter. She turned away for a few seconds and — voila — the bag vanished. The shoes inside the bag had set her back $900.

CASH AND TAMPAX: A 31-year-old woman said she was at West End Mall when a man with a mohawk snatched her purse. The reporting officer wrote, “The suspect was wearing blue jean shorts, a white wipe beater [sic], and white shoes.” The woman said her purse contained $230 cash and some “female items.”

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.