Karma Cleanser - March 19 2003

?Dear Karma Cleanser:
A few weeks ago you printed a response to my letter where I worried about bad karma from using Humane Society address labels without making a donation. A reader responded later expressing their belief that I was doing right by the Humane Society by taking care of my pet shih-tzu, Muffy. Since then there have been some disturbing developments.

Truth is, I don’t have a dog. There is no Muffy. I made her up in hopes that it would improve the chances of getting a response. My roommate, however, had a pit bull mix named Capone that recently started frothing at the mouth and had to be put down. This can’t be just a coincidence. Is it possible that I generated some bad pet karma by lying and it somehow rubbed off on my roommate? Is there anything I can do to make amends?

Rest in peace, Capone, you will be missed.

-- K-9 Karma

You lied to the Karma Cleanser? We’re in shock. Such abuse of the karmic counsel just undermines the whole system. That said, we’re not sure that your transgression is directly to blame for poor Capone’s untimely exit. Bad karma is a personal debt, and not one that your roommate (or their pet) becomes accountable for. In other words, watch your back. A little white lie named Muffy may soon be nipping at your heels.

br>?Dear Karma Cleanser:
I recently attended my daughter’s ballet performance. One of the little girls on stage was having a hard time keeping up with her fellow dancers, and she kept falling down. Halfway through the performance, I turned to my wife and whispered, “I’d like one of whatever she’s drinking.” I realized, though, that the music had stopped, and the woman sitting behind us had heard my joke. She gave me a big frown, and I turned back to the performance.

After the show, we caught up with our daughter. She had with her a friend, the little girl who I’d made fun of during the concert. You can probably see where this story is going. She also brought over the little girl’s mother — the woman who had heard my comment. The woman introduced herself and didn’t say anything about my joke, but I still felt like a real asshole the whole time we talked to her.

This letter is just meant to remind your readers that they never can tell who might be listening in on their conversations. Sometimes those offhand comments can give you very bad karma in the long run.

-- Bad Dad

Your poor daughter! Let this be a lesson to her: Don’t invite dad to any more recitals.

Been bad? Order the redemption combo, and super-size it: karma@creativeloafing.com.