Cheap Eats - The pub grub kicks ass at venerated Highlander

I’m eating a plate of tater tots. Methodically, I dunk each crunchy nugget in ketchup and then pop it into my mouth. What is it about these damn things? I can’t stop myself. It hasn’t even been a week, and I’m already blowing my resolution to lay off fried food. But the Highlander’s tots are legendary. I imagine these starchy little gems have saved many an inebriated soul from a blackout after one too many shots of Jägermeister.

Rock and Roll All Night: Let’s face it. No one goes to the Highlander to indulge in anything healthy. The Highlander’s reputation is founded on booze, air hockey and a righteous heavy metal selection on the jukebox. The place oozes punk rock attitude, although, in truth, it’s one of the more accepting bars in town. I used to take a yoga class at the studio upstairs, and I’d regularly come in and order takeout after class. I’d grab a stool at the bar, my rolled yoga mat under my arm, and sip a beer while I waited for my food. I always expected to get sneers in my dorky yoga pants and tank top, but I never did. Nobody judges at the Highlander. It’s refreshing.

Keep it Simple: The Highlander’s menu offers a handful of pricier entrees such as a grilled New York strip ($17.95) and black forest pasta ($10.45), but there’s no reason you should spend that much. Save your cash for booze and order a sandwich instead — there are plenty of good ones to choose from. I don’t think you’ll find a better grilled chicken sandwich ($7.75) anywhere in town. It’s just a simple juicy chicken breast topped with lettuce, tomato and a dab of mayo on a toasted bun. I’m also a fan of the Lionel ($7.25), a French dip piled high with shaved roast beef and oozing melted Swiss cheese.

Bad to the Bone: The only sandwich that really disappointed me was the dry Slider, a 4-ounce mini-burger ($2 with no topping). Next time, I’ll stick with the full-size Highlander burger ($7.75). While I’m on the subject of disappointments, I may as well mention the appetizers. I’m guessing the stuffed mushroom caps ($6.75) were run under the broiler long enough to melt the cheese on top, but the herbed cream cheese filling was chilly and glutinous and the mushrooms themselves were nearly raw. Pasta-rella sticks ($6.75) sounded intriguing — mozzarella cheese wrapped in pasta and deep fried — but they looked and tasted like standard-issue mozzarella sticks that had gone straight from the freezer to the fryer.

Gyro my hero: The menu item that surprised me the most was the gyro ($7.25). The Highlander just doesn’t seem like the kind of joint that would make a good gyro. But it’s better than good, loaded with spiced shaved beef, tangy tzaziki and feta crumbles. That and a side of tots, and you’re well equipped for a night of heavy drinking — that’s what you’re really there for, anyway. Who’s ready for a Jäger shot?