Streetalk: Would the country have been better off with the turkey as the national symbol?

Alex: Ben Franklin believed the turkey was more of a patriot than the bald eagle. Ben said the bald eagle was nothing more than a fish eater and a pirate. I don’t know why we chose the bald eagle. The turkey is more representative of Americans. We’re fat and we eat each other. The bald eagle is majestic, but is America really majestic? Are we really the land of majesty and purple mountains? I don’t see any purple mountains. I see the turkey as the rugged underdog which is America.

Page: We would look foolish. You call people turkeys when they act like a doofus. A bald eagle is regal. It flies into the sky and then plummets down and eats whatever it wants to. It could eat a turkey, too. Eagles are intelligent and turkeys are just kind of stupid. They just run around and they let us eat them. If I could have called it out, I would have picked the hummingbird. They’re adorable. You can fit four of them in a teaspoon when they’re babies.

Patrick: It’s a delicate situation right now with us and Turkey. If we were to switch the national symbol, Turkey might feel good and that could save thousands of Kurds. Turkey would feel honored. Who wouldn’t? The bald eagle is in Alaska and that’s about it. We already have Alaska, so they can’t do anything. Are they going to secede or something? The turkey is not as majestic, but maybe a little more accurate as to what America is. We’re a lot goofier than we think, but I’m OK with goofy.