Omnivore - Howdy, y'all. Guess who's loathsome.

Paula Deen barely makes the Bottom 50 list


  • Ian Murphy, The Beast

The Beast has published its annual list of the 50 Most Loathsome Americans and guess who made the list. None other than the much loved Paula Deen.

True, Paula barely eeked by. She rated 50th, so there's hope she may slide off the list next year by, perhaps, cooking something not toxic to the human vascular system. Ian Murphy, who wrote and illustrated the list, describes Paula this way:

50) Paula Deen
Charges: The A.Q. Khan of the culinary world, her secret recipes are demonstrably more dangerous to America than a nuclear armed North Korea. When not delighting delusional hicks on “Huckabee,” she’s cooking up coronary-clogging treats like the “Luther”—a bacon-topped cheeseburger served between two glazed donuts—whose purported inventor Luther Vandross suffered from diabetes and died of a massive heart explosion. Make no mistake, this insane, evangelical pumpkin-face is trying to send you into the arms of Jesus.
Aggravating factor: “I’m gonna start with my normal ingredient, y’all: one stick of butter.”
Sentence: Steamed and served over a healthy bed of greens.