5 signs you’re stuck in a relationship Groundhog Day
The other day a girlfriend and I met up at our usual watering hole. We sat down in our usual spot and ordered our usual drinks. We arrived all a smile, but after a while we saw the same faces, the same exes. “What did you expect?” my guy friend asked. “You’re never going to meet a dude going to the same kiddie pool again and again.” He was right. My social habits have not yielded the most fitting results for myself as of late, creating a less than entertaining state of déjà vu, much like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.
We all have those bad habits we just can’t seem to break, as much with our sexual or romantic partner as other relationships in our lives, such as our friends, family, or self. In dating, it can be selecting people we know we are not compatible with, going out with assholes, doing the person who’s easy instead of the person who’s worthy, or committing relationship sabotage. Upon being rudely awakened, we ask ourselves, “Again? Really?”
Does this not apply to you? Cool. You’re in the clear. But in case you’re still in denial about your relationship Groundhog Day, much like myself, here are five signs to serve as a reminder to snap out of it and get your shit together.
5) You play with yourself — A LOT
It’s healthy to masturbate, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! Benefits include an increase in serotonin levels, the release of endorphins, and reduced anxiety levels. Overall win. On the other hand, compulsive masturbation — whether caused by stress, boredom, or sexual dissatisfaction — can affect a person negatively due to its secret and isolating nature. I’m not going to suggest what a “normal” masturbatory habit is for a man or a woman. Everyone knows what his or her norm is.
4) You’re predictable
A routine is a good thing, like going to bed before 11 p.m. Not good? Predictability. Oh, let me guess, he’s in a band, has tattoos, doesn’t want to be in a relationship (but you do), secretly has a girlfriend in another state, and you’re always paying for everything on account of his ass being broke? If you are constantly dissatisfied with the same outcome, you may want to evaluate why you keep playing the same game.
3) You won’t stop complaining
It’s necessary to vent, but if your job, lifestyle choices, or relationships make it such that you spend more time dwelling on the negative than the positive, the time has come to make some changes. Life isn’t easy, but you’re not supposed to be miserable. Don’t forget that.
2) The sex isn’t even meeting your standards
Whether in a casual or romantic relationship, not every round of sex is going to yield mind-blowing results, but the second getting down and dirty with your partner starts to feel like a chore, the time has come to make some changes. Because sexting, “I can’t wait to get home and suck your heat-seeking missile,” should never be met with “K” as a response.
1) You’re not happy
Duh, right? Not so fast. Sometimes it’s hard to tell when we’re in a rut. Complacency is easy. It’s hard admitting we’re not happy. It means we require change. Change means being completely alone with our thoughts and emotions and looking deep within ourselves in order to find and repair the broken links. Ask yourself, “Am I happy?” Deep down inside you know the true answer to this question.
In the end, it’s all about being happy. Life has its challenges and time goes by fast. In the blink of an eye, it’s already the end of the week, the beginning of next month, the end of a decade. There are patterns in our lives that work to our advantage, but the ones that weigh us down can make us blind to even the best things in our lives.
Whether they are the one or none of the five listed above, there are indicators all around us that serve to alert us about our current mental and emotional status. Don’t get caught in a relationship Groundhog Day, constantly asking yourself, “How does this keep happening to me?” Sometimes we need to take a step away from all those around us, have that uncomfortable talk with ourselves, and map out our escape plan before it’s too late.