The Blotter: We just rippin' a blunt, officer
A brazen, yet polite couple gets scooped up by the fuzz
An APD officer dispatched to a call of a couple drinking at Harwell Heights Park met with quite the forthcoming crew: The male suspect told the cop they "were drinking and smoking a blunt," according to the incident report.
While the officer jotted down notes on the oddly cordial interaction, he said, the man "reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of crack [cocaine] and dropped it on the ground."
"I picked up the piece of crack," the officer said. His investigation thereafter uncovered a crack pipe and a "baggy of marijuana."
The female in question said, "they didn't get a chance to smoke the marijuana because they say me coming," the cop's documentation said.
Police Blotter
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string(5002) "NATURE LOVES A LOCKDOWN: A wild turkey was spotted in East Atlanta Village (probably headed to the Earl for Wild Turkey shots). Peacocks roamed freely in Kirkwood. And in Decatur? One neighborhood denizen wrote, “The Dude on South McDonough a half hour ago, directing traffic so a turtle could cross the road — is exactly the hero Decatur needs right now — he low-key won the day.”
Another Decatur resident responded: “Nice. The last time I helped a turtle in the middle of E. Davis, by putting him on the side of the street he was heading to, he peed on me.”
JUST OUT FOR A JOG: In Lawrenceville, a 14-year-old African-American male says he was out running for exercise in his subdivision when he was accosted by two white males. He said the men in a silver 4-door car pulled alongside him and yelled extremely derogatory insults, before spitting on his arm. During a pandemic.
The 14-year-old says: “It was very disturbing that I had someone’s bodily fluid on my arm.”
The teen adds: “They yelled things like ‘You’re poor!’ and ‘Go back to your ‘hood.’ They also used racial slurs to describe me.”
The 14-year-old’s mother says her son was instructed by his football coach to start running to prepare for the upcoming football season.
DECATUR DICKHEAD: About 30 people decided to hold a Black Lives Matter protest on a street corner in Decatur, holding up signs.
“For the most part, we were greeted with signs of support — from honks to thumbs up!” reports one protest organizer. “Towards the end, an older (white) man drove by while yelling that we were ignorant.” About two minutes later, the older white man showed up on foot at the protest “and started using the N-word,” reports the protest organizer. “Not afraid of a good fight, I let him know I wasn’t afraid of his ignorant rants. Then, he got ugly. This man got in my face and spit on me. Twice. He then yelled, ‘I have the COVID-19.’
The spitter wore a T-shirt that read: “Math Counts.”
That wasn’t all. A fellow organizer followed the older white guy to his car, intending to snap a pic of his license plate. “When the man saw him taking a photo, he shouted, “I’ll shoot you, N-lover. Why don’t you suck a N-dick?”
The older white man lives in Decatur. Yes, Decatur. The land of hemp clothes and yoga. He wore plaid shorts, that t-shirt, and a white baseball cap.
The protest organizer posted photos of the man (and his license plate) on Facebook. “I have called the police,” he says. “This man belongs in jail.”
MESSAGING MALFUNCTION: In Buckhead, a restaurant called OK CAFÉ displayed a perplexing banner during a recent student-led march called Buckhead4BlackLives.
The banner, proudly displayed across the restaurant’s storefront, read in huge letters: “LIVES THAT MATTER ARE MADE WITH POSITIVE PURPOSE,” alongside a booth that read “OK Café Tea Party.”
A Georgia Tech student organizer of the march says, “It’s such cryptic wording that we feel like they were trying to step around it, while not actually saying ‘All Lives Matter.’”
Other signs displayed at OK Café include: “Law & Order = Peace,” “OK Café Loves America,” and “We Support the Georgia Police Force.”
The restaurant’s female co-owner — when quizzed by food and dining network Eater about her controversial signage — had this to say via email:
“The mass and unhinged violence and destruction of business across America was purposeless, anti-American and destroyed the concept of law and order. A message of positive purpose needed to be said. I hope to see many similar messages posted too as Business is the glue of our free society.”
The Blotter Diva says, Shove it, lady. If “Business” (with a capital is the glue of our free society … then, we’re all about to come unglued. Quickly.
THIS IS FUCKING POST-GEORGE FLOYD AMERICA: A police officer held two African-American boys (ages 13 and 15) at gunpoint in Clayton County.
Police say the boys showed them a BB gun hidden in the bushes — and it looked like a real semi-automatic pistol.
One person standing nearby was heard pleading with the officers: “Please sir, don’t shoot. They’re kids. What did they do?”
Another person cried out, “Why you got a gun out?”
The officer replied, “Because I’m being safe.”
The boys’ mother says: “If this community in Clayton County didn’t come out for them, I wonder if one of these boys wouldn’t have made it home. … These kids were shadow-boxing near the convenience store, playing with each other as kids do. The community begged the officer to put his gun away. Police harassment is real!!! A gun before a Taser on black CHILDREN?”
The 15-year-old says: “I thought I was going to die. Because you see all these black kids dying.”
Community activists are calling for the Clayton County police officer to be fired. —CL—"
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string(5038) "__NATURE LOVES A LOCKDOWN__: A wild turkey was spotted in East Atlanta Village (probably headed to the Earl for Wild Turkey shots). Peacocks roamed freely in Kirkwood. And in Decatur? One neighborhood denizen wrote, “The Dude on South McDonough a half hour ago, directing traffic so a turtle could cross the road — is exactly the hero Decatur needs right now — he low-key won the day.”
Another Decatur resident responded: “Nice. The last time I helped a turtle in the middle of E. Davis, by putting him on the side of the street he was heading to, he peed on me.”
__JUST OUT FOR A JOG:__ In Lawrenceville, a 14-year-old African-American male says he was out running for exercise in his subdivision when he was accosted by two white males. He said the men in a silver 4-door car pulled alongside him and yelled extremely derogatory insults, before spitting on his arm. During a pandemic.
The 14-year-old says: “It was very disturbing that I had someone’s bodily fluid on my arm.”
The teen adds: “They yelled things like ‘You’re poor!’ and ‘Go back to your ‘hood.’ They also used racial slurs to describe me.”
The 14-year-old’s mother says her son was instructed by his football coach to start running to prepare for the upcoming football season.
__DECATUR DICKHEAD__'':'' About 30 people decided to hold a Black Lives Matter protest on a street corner in Decatur, holding up signs.
“For the most part, we were greeted with signs of support — from honks to thumbs up!” reports one protest organizer. “Towards the end, an older (white) man drove by while yelling that we were ignorant.” About two minutes later, the older white man showed up on foot at the protest “and started using the N-word,” reports the protest organizer. “Not afraid of a good fight, I let him know I wasn’t afraid of his ignorant rants. Then, he got ugly. This man got in my face and spit on me. Twice. He then yelled, ‘I have the COVID-19.’
The spitter wore a T-shirt that read: “Math Counts.”
That wasn’t all. A fellow organizer followed the older white guy to his car, intending to snap a pic of his license plate. “When the man saw him taking a photo, he shouted, “I’ll shoot you, N-lover. Why don’t you suck a N-dick?”
The older white man lives in Decatur. Yes, Decatur. The land of hemp clothes and yoga. He wore plaid shorts, that t-shirt, and a white baseball cap.
The protest organizer posted photos of the man (and his license plate) on Facebook. “I have called the police,” he says. “This man belongs in jail.”
__MESSAGING MALFUNCTION:__ In Buckhead, a restaurant called OK CAFÉ displayed a perplexing banner during a recent student-led march called Buckhead4BlackLives.
The banner, proudly displayed across the restaurant’s storefront, read in huge letters: “LIVES THAT MATTER ARE MADE WITH POSITIVE PURPOSE,” alongside a booth that read “OK Café Tea Party.”
A Georgia Tech student organizer of the march says, “It’s such cryptic wording that we feel like they were trying to step around it, while not actually saying ‘All Lives Matter.’”
Other signs displayed at OK Café include: “Law & Order = Peace,” “OK Café Loves America,” and “We Support the Georgia Police Force.”
The restaurant’s female co-owner — when quizzed by food and dining network Eater about her controversial signage — had this to say via email:
“The mass and unhinged violence and destruction of business across America was purposeless, anti-American and destroyed the concept of law and order. A message of positive purpose needed to be said. I hope to see many similar messages posted too as Business is the glue of our free society.”
The Blotter Diva says, Shove it, lady. If “Business” (with a capital (:cool:) is the glue of our free society … then, we’re all about to come unglued. Quickly.
__THIS IS FUCKING POST-GEORGE FLOYD AMERICA:__ A police officer held two African-American boys (ages 13 and 15) at gunpoint in Clayton County.
Police say the boys showed them a BB gun hidden in the bushes — and it looked like a real semi-automatic pistol.
One person standing nearby was heard pleading with the officers: “Please sir, don’t shoot. They’re kids. What did they do?”
Another person cried out, “Why you got a gun out?”
The officer replied, “Because I’m being safe.”
The boys’ mother says: “If this community in Clayton County didn’t come out for them, I wonder if one of these boys wouldn’t have made it home. … These kids were shadow-boxing near the convenience store, playing with each other as kids do. The community begged the officer to put his gun away. Police harassment is real!!! A gun before a Taser on black CHILDREN?”
The 15-year-old says: “I thought I was going to die. Because you see all these black kids dying.”
Community activists are calling for the Clayton County police officer to be fired. __—CL—__"
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string(5446) " 0720 Blot Final Resized Web 2020-06-30T19:23:10+00:00 0720-blot-final_resized_web.jpg theblotter And other tales of life in the ATL 31908 2020-06-30T15:57:00+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Animals in the street and roaming jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING Lauren Keating 2020-06-30T15:57:00+00:00 NATURE LOVES A LOCKDOWN: A wild turkey was spotted in East Atlanta Village (probably headed to the Earl for Wild Turkey shots). Peacocks roamed freely in Kirkwood. And in Decatur? One neighborhood denizen wrote, “The Dude on South McDonough a half hour ago, directing traffic so a turtle could cross the road — is exactly the hero Decatur needs right now — he low-key won the day.”
Another Decatur resident responded: “Nice. The last time I helped a turtle in the middle of E. Davis, by putting him on the side of the street he was heading to, he peed on me.”
JUST OUT FOR A JOG: In Lawrenceville, a 14-year-old African-American male says he was out running for exercise in his subdivision when he was accosted by two white males. He said the men in a silver 4-door car pulled alongside him and yelled extremely derogatory insults, before spitting on his arm. During a pandemic.
The 14-year-old says: “It was very disturbing that I had someone’s bodily fluid on my arm.”
The teen adds: “They yelled things like ‘You’re poor!’ and ‘Go back to your ‘hood.’ They also used racial slurs to describe me.”
The 14-year-old’s mother says her son was instructed by his football coach to start running to prepare for the upcoming football season.
DECATUR DICKHEAD: About 30 people decided to hold a Black Lives Matter protest on a street corner in Decatur, holding up signs.
“For the most part, we were greeted with signs of support — from honks to thumbs up!” reports one protest organizer. “Towards the end, an older (white) man drove by while yelling that we were ignorant.” About two minutes later, the older white man showed up on foot at the protest “and started using the N-word,” reports the protest organizer. “Not afraid of a good fight, I let him know I wasn’t afraid of his ignorant rants. Then, he got ugly. This man got in my face and spit on me. Twice. He then yelled, ‘I have the COVID-19.’
The spitter wore a T-shirt that read: “Math Counts.”
That wasn’t all. A fellow organizer followed the older white guy to his car, intending to snap a pic of his license plate. “When the man saw him taking a photo, he shouted, “I’ll shoot you, N-lover. Why don’t you suck a N-dick?”
The older white man lives in Decatur. Yes, Decatur. The land of hemp clothes and yoga. He wore plaid shorts, that t-shirt, and a white baseball cap.
The protest organizer posted photos of the man (and his license plate) on Facebook. “I have called the police,” he says. “This man belongs in jail.”
MESSAGING MALFUNCTION: In Buckhead, a restaurant called OK CAFÉ displayed a perplexing banner during a recent student-led march called Buckhead4BlackLives.
The banner, proudly displayed across the restaurant’s storefront, read in huge letters: “LIVES THAT MATTER ARE MADE WITH POSITIVE PURPOSE,” alongside a booth that read “OK Café Tea Party.”
A Georgia Tech student organizer of the march says, “It’s such cryptic wording that we feel like they were trying to step around it, while not actually saying ‘All Lives Matter.’”
Other signs displayed at OK Café include: “Law & Order = Peace,” “OK Café Loves America,” and “We Support the Georgia Police Force.”
The restaurant’s female co-owner — when quizzed by food and dining network Eater about her controversial signage — had this to say via email:
“The mass and unhinged violence and destruction of business across America was purposeless, anti-American and destroyed the concept of law and order. A message of positive purpose needed to be said. I hope to see many similar messages posted too as Business is the glue of our free society.”
The Blotter Diva says, Shove it, lady. If “Business” (with a capital is the glue of our free society … then, we’re all about to come unglued. Quickly.
THIS IS FUCKING POST-GEORGE FLOYD AMERICA: A police officer held two African-American boys (ages 13 and 15) at gunpoint in Clayton County.
Police say the boys showed them a BB gun hidden in the bushes — and it looked like a real semi-automatic pistol.
One person standing nearby was heard pleading with the officers: “Please sir, don’t shoot. They’re kids. What did they do?”
Another person cried out, “Why you got a gun out?”
The officer replied, “Because I’m being safe.”
The boys’ mother says: “If this community in Clayton County didn’t come out for them, I wonder if one of these boys wouldn’t have made it home. … These kids were shadow-boxing near the convenience store, playing with each other as kids do. The community begged the officer to put his gun away. Police harassment is real!!! A gun before a Taser on black CHILDREN?”
The 15-year-old says: “I thought I was going to die. Because you see all these black kids dying.”
Community activists are calling for the Clayton County police officer to be fired. —CL— Illustration: Tray Butler 0,0,10 theblotter THE BLOTTER: Animals in the street and roaming "
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THE BLOTTER: Animals in the street and roaming Police Blotter
Tuesday June 30, 2020 11:57 am EDT
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(4275) "PANDEMIC DARWIN AWARD #1: Police say an Atlanta woman coughed on a family for a “coronavirus social media” challenge. The female suspect is accused of targeting a family of six — including four children — who were taking a stroll near their Atlantic Station home on 17th street and The Village. The female suspect allegedly approached the family and said one word — “corona” — before coughing and laughing hysterically. The parents say the female deliberately coughed in the direction of their six-year-old son. Apparently, the suspect held up her cell-phone and made a video-clip of her coughing stunt. Which may help police track her down. Police released images of the female suspect shopping at a nearby Target with a drink in her hand — and asked the public to help identify her.
The female suspect is being sought for a reckless conduct charge. If convicted, she could face up to 12 months in jail and a $1,000 fine. Newsweek magazine reports: “It remains unclear if the woman was actually involved in the same social media challenge that first hit the headlines in March, when a female teenager filmed themselves licking a toilet bowl, seemingly in an attempt to kick off a new trend.”
KNOCKED UP: A pregnant woman stole a CBS46 local news van in Midtown — with another pregnant reporter inside.
Police say the driver of the news van left it running, with a pregnant CBS46 reporter in the rear of the van’s cargo area. The two were covering a car crash on 17th Street — and police officers were already on the scene, searching for the missing driver of that first crash.
Suddenly, a 38-year-old pregnant woman leapt into the driver’s seat of the news van and peeled off — with the pregnant reporter still in the van’s cargo area. The pregnant reporter yelled for help, and police officers tried to stop the van, which crashed a short distance away near the traffic circle at Peachtree Circle and The Prado in Ansley Park. The pregnant reporter was not hurt in the crash; however the pregnant suspect injured her arm.
The 38-year-old pregnant suspect is now charged with kidnapping.
SHAKE IT, SUGAR: A police department in Taneytown, Maryland, sent out a friendly pandemic fashion reminder to residents about proper attire for walking from your home to your mailbox. Apparently, some followers of the local stay-at-home-shelter order were enjoying a mini-break from covering their lower halves. Police in Taneytown got fed up, and posted this stern reminder on Facebook: “Please remember to put on pants before checking your mailbox. You know who you are. This is your final warning.”
CONTAGIOUS VIBES: In Oakhurst, a woman started dressing up as Chicken Bike Lady and riding through the neighborhood on a regular basis, just to cheer up people following shelter-at-home orders. She went all in — and built a large red-and-white chicken-creature to prop on the back of her bicycle for the rides. Chicken Bike Lady even made special trips for kids celebrating birthdays while stuck at home: She’d ride by, wave, sing “Happy Birthday” — all while keeping a safe social distance from all.
JURASSIC PARK DUO: Prehistoric beasts started reclaiming parts of Decatur’s Oakhurst neighborhood during the pandemic-stay-at-home-quarantine days. Two people dressed up in stuffed dinosaur costumes were spotted casually strolling down a street. The first dino appeared to be a Tyrannosaurus rex; the second a Stegosaurus. No indication as to what prompted their distinct-extinct pandemic attire.
PANDEMIC DARWIN AWARD #2: A grocery store had to dump $35,000 worth of food because a woman allegedly “came into the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and (on) a small section of our bakery, meat case, and grocery,” the store’s managers posted on Facebook. “While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. We had no choice but to throw out all of the products she came in contact with.” The grocery store is located in Hanover Township, Pennsylvania. —CL—
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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The female suspect is being sought for a reckless conduct charge. If convicted, she could face up to 12 months in jail and a $1,000 fine. ''Newsweek'' magazine reports: “It remains unclear if the woman was actually involved in the same social media challenge that first hit the headlines in March, when a female teenager filmed themselves licking a toilet bowl, seemingly in an attempt to kick off a new trend.”
__KNOCKED UP:__ A pregnant woman stole a CBS46 local news van in Midtown — with another pregnant reporter inside.
Police say the driver of the news van left it running, with a pregnant CBS46 reporter in the rear of the van’s cargo area. The two were covering a car crash on 17th Street — and police officers were already on the scene, searching for the missing driver of that first crash.
Suddenly, a 38-year-old pregnant woman leapt into the driver’s seat of the news van and peeled off — with the pregnant reporter still in the van’s cargo area. The pregnant reporter yelled for help, and police officers tried to stop the van, which crashed a short distance away near the traffic circle at Peachtree Circle and The Prado in Ansley Park. The pregnant reporter was not hurt in the crash; however the pregnant suspect injured her arm.
The 38-year-old pregnant suspect is now charged with kidnapping.
__SHAKE IT, SUGAR:__ A police department in Taneytown, Maryland, sent out a friendly pandemic fashion reminder to residents about proper attire for walking from your home to your mailbox. Apparently, some followers of the local stay-at-home-shelter order were enjoying a mini-break from covering their lower halves. Police in Taneytown got fed up, and posted this stern reminder on Facebook: “Please remember to put on pants before checking your mailbox. You know who you are. This is your final warning.”
__CONTAGIOUS VIBES:__ In Oakhurst, a woman started dressing up as Chicken Bike Lady and riding through the neighborhood on a regular basis, just to cheer up people following shelter-at-home orders. She went all in — and built a large red-and-white chicken-creature to prop on the back of her bicycle for the rides. Chicken Bike Lady even made special trips for kids celebrating birthdays while stuck at home: She’d ride by, wave, sing “Happy Birthday” — all while keeping a safe social distance from all.
__JURASSIC PARK DUO:__ Prehistoric beasts started reclaiming parts of Decatur’s Oakhurst neighborhood during the pandemic-stay-at-home-quarantine days. Two people dressed up in stuffed dinosaur costumes were spotted casually strolling down a street. The first dino appeared to be a ''Tyrannosaurus rex''; the second a ''Stegosaurus''. No indication as to what prompted their distinct-extinct pandemic attire.
__PANDEMIC DARWIN AWARD #2:__ A grocery store had to dump $35,000 worth of food because a woman allegedly “came into the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and (on) a small section of our bakery, meat case, and grocery,” the store’s managers posted on Facebook. “While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. We had no choice but to throw out all of the products she came in contact with.” The grocery store is located in Hanover Township, Pennsylvania. —__CL__—
''The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.''"
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string(4695) " 0520blot Cough V3 Web 2020-05-11T17:05:39+00:00 0520blot-cough-v3_web.jpg theblotter And other tales of life in the ATL 31010 2020-05-01T04:05:00+00:00 THE BLOTTER: The ‘coughing bandit’ strikes jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING 2020-05-01T04:05:00+00:00 PANDEMIC DARWIN AWARD #1: Police say an Atlanta woman coughed on a family for a “coronavirus social media” challenge. The female suspect is accused of targeting a family of six — including four children — who were taking a stroll near their Atlantic Station home on 17th street and The Village. The female suspect allegedly approached the family and said one word — “corona” — before coughing and laughing hysterically. The parents say the female deliberately coughed in the direction of their six-year-old son. Apparently, the suspect held up her cell-phone and made a video-clip of her coughing stunt. Which may help police track her down. Police released images of the female suspect shopping at a nearby Target with a drink in her hand — and asked the public to help identify her.
The female suspect is being sought for a reckless conduct charge. If convicted, she could face up to 12 months in jail and a $1,000 fine. Newsweek magazine reports: “It remains unclear if the woman was actually involved in the same social media challenge that first hit the headlines in March, when a female teenager filmed themselves licking a toilet bowl, seemingly in an attempt to kick off a new trend.”
KNOCKED UP: A pregnant woman stole a CBS46 local news van in Midtown — with another pregnant reporter inside.
Police say the driver of the news van left it running, with a pregnant CBS46 reporter in the rear of the van’s cargo area. The two were covering a car crash on 17th Street — and police officers were already on the scene, searching for the missing driver of that first crash.
Suddenly, a 38-year-old pregnant woman leapt into the driver’s seat of the news van and peeled off — with the pregnant reporter still in the van’s cargo area. The pregnant reporter yelled for help, and police officers tried to stop the van, which crashed a short distance away near the traffic circle at Peachtree Circle and The Prado in Ansley Park. The pregnant reporter was not hurt in the crash; however the pregnant suspect injured her arm.
The 38-year-old pregnant suspect is now charged with kidnapping.
SHAKE IT, SUGAR: A police department in Taneytown, Maryland, sent out a friendly pandemic fashion reminder to residents about proper attire for walking from your home to your mailbox. Apparently, some followers of the local stay-at-home-shelter order were enjoying a mini-break from covering their lower halves. Police in Taneytown got fed up, and posted this stern reminder on Facebook: “Please remember to put on pants before checking your mailbox. You know who you are. This is your final warning.”
CONTAGIOUS VIBES: In Oakhurst, a woman started dressing up as Chicken Bike Lady and riding through the neighborhood on a regular basis, just to cheer up people following shelter-at-home orders. She went all in — and built a large red-and-white chicken-creature to prop on the back of her bicycle for the rides. Chicken Bike Lady even made special trips for kids celebrating birthdays while stuck at home: She’d ride by, wave, sing “Happy Birthday” — all while keeping a safe social distance from all.
JURASSIC PARK DUO: Prehistoric beasts started reclaiming parts of Decatur’s Oakhurst neighborhood during the pandemic-stay-at-home-quarantine days. Two people dressed up in stuffed dinosaur costumes were spotted casually strolling down a street. The first dino appeared to be a Tyrannosaurus rex; the second a Stegosaurus. No indication as to what prompted their distinct-extinct pandemic attire.
PANDEMIC DARWIN AWARD #2: A grocery store had to dump $35,000 worth of food because a woman allegedly “came into the store and proceeded to purposely cough on our fresh produce, and (on) a small section of our bakery, meat case, and grocery,” the store’s managers posted on Facebook. “While there is little doubt this woman was doing it as a very twisted prank, we will not take any chances with the health and well-being of our customers. We had no choice but to throw out all of the products she came in contact with.” The grocery store is located in Hanover Township, Pennsylvania. —CL—
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. Illustration by Tray Butler 0,0,10 theblotter THE BLOTTER: The ‘coughing bandit’ strikes "
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THE BLOTTER: The ‘coughing bandit’ strikes Police Blotter
Friday May 1, 2020 12:05 am EDT
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(7249) "In a flash, all of Atlanta’s population became obsessed with one thing: Wiping their asses. And consumed with fear over supplies running out for said ass-wiping. Toilet-paper thievery reports suddenly surpassed reports of more conventionally appealing items for bandits, like flat-screen TVs. And it wasn’t just experienced robbers with TP on the brain: A seemingly sane and wholesome-looking elderly grandfather knocked innocent children to the ground for a single roll of Quilted Northern Ultra-Plush.
Grocery store parking lots across ATL abruptly transformed into bitch-slap combat zones, one pitting a suburban housewife versus a bearded urban hipster with a man-bun — with both sides madly wrestling over 18-packs of Charmin Ultra-Soft 2-Ply Mega Rolls.
Of course, it’s not just in the ATL. More than 3,000 miles away, the police department in Newport, Oregon got fed up with fielding “emergency” calls over toilet-paper shortages. “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” Newport police wrote on Facebook. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance. In fact, history offers you many other options in your time of need if you cannot find a roll: Mayans used corncobs … Farmers used pages from the Farmers Almanac.” The police post goes on to suggest “grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting in front of you … Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”
Humanity still hasn’t recovered.
ALL THAT GLITTERS: One evening, a 35-year-old woman was walking in downtown Atlanta, past the horse-driven carriages lined up for tourist rides on Luckie Street. Suddenly, “a horse bit her right arm.”
A cop noted: “The woman described the horse as a 17-hand draft Paint color horse with black and white spots and gold glitter polish(ed) hooves.”
The horse’s handler — a man with a short haircut — asked the bitten woman if she wanted a free carriage ride, to make up for the horse bite. No thanks, said the woman, refusing the bonus ride.
Also, she refused to go to the emergency room, insisting the horse bite wasn’t that bad. The reporting officer noted clearly visible bruises and abrasions on the woman’s right arm.
REVENGE WITH CONDIMENTS: A 20-year-old man walked into the Grant Park Police Department to report a dispute with his girlfriend. He said he posted something on social media that his girlfriend did not agree with, and she began to accuse him of cheating. “Since then, she has texted him multiple times, threatening to send nude pictures of him to his mother and calling his job,” the reporting cop noted. “He believes she also trashed his vehicle by tossing mustard all over it.”
The boyfriend had proof, showing texts and video to cops. He said he would try to get a restraining order.
MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS: Around midnight in Grant Park, a cop peered out a Zone 3 precinct window — and spotted a blue Nissan Altima idling at the intersection of Cherokee and Atlanta avenues. Other cars piled up “behind the Nissan, honking their horns to get the vehicle to move,” the observant cop noted.
The cop walked outside to check it out. “I approached the vehicle and saw a man slumped over the driver seat. I then started knocking on the windows, but got no response from the driver. I then went to the driver’s side of the vehicle and opened the door and started shaking (the driver) … after about 20 seconds of shaking him, he finally responded.”
The cop asked: Did you have any alcoholic drinks tonight?
The driver: Yes, I did.
“He then stepped out (of the car) and could barely keep his balance. Medics arrived, examined him, and said he wasn’t injured, just drunk.
Just to review: Not only did this gentleman pass out in his car around midnight, directly in front of the Grant Park police station. He also did so a) in his girlfriend’s car and b) while driving on a suspended license. Talk about making cops’ jobs super-easy.
The man was arrested and charged with a DUI Less Safe; impeding the flow of traffic; and driving with a suspended license. His girlfriend was allowed to come pick up her Nissan Altima before her boyfriend went to jail.
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE MAN! In the Old Fourth Ward around 7:30 a.m., a 31-year-old woman called police to her apartment on Linden Avenue. “(She) said she woke up to get ready for the day before her boyfriend (and father of her child),” a cop noted: The girlfriend said her boyfriend woke up and was upset that he overslept and was now late for work — and blamed her for not waking him up … so he flipped over her mattress and dresser, upside down,” the cop noted. “The boyfriend then grabbed the blinds in their bedroom, ripping and removing several sections of blinds from the window.” The girlfriend started to call 911 — and her boyfriend punched a hole in the hallway wall and left the apartment. She wasn’t sure where he went.
Cops noted that the girlfriend wasn’t concerned or afraid about her personal safety … but she wanted a police report because her angry lover had damaged items belonging to the apartment management company, like the wall and blinds. “(The girlfriend) said her boyfriend has anger issues but has never put his hands on her,” the cop noted.
CHIP ON THE SHOULDER? In the Joyland neighborhood, an argument between a customer and a store manager broke out at a convenience store on Pryor Road. A 29-year-old woman said she bought some Lays Potato Chips for her and her children. The woman said she and her kids were eating the bag of chips when she realized the bottom of the bag contained more than chips. “When she opened it, dead ants were in the bottom of the chip bag.”
The woman wanted a refund for her insect-infested potato chips. And she wanted a full refund for everything she bought at the store : $12. The store manager refused to give her any refund.
A cop showed up and heard both sides. “I informed (the woman) that she’d have to take up a claim with Lays Company,” the reporting officer noted.
BITTER FRUIT: On Auburn Avenue, a grocery store owner said a local drug dealer named “Fruit” was harassing a male customer in his 60s who was withdrawing money from the ATM located inside the store. The customer complained to the grocery-store owner – and suddenly Fruit intruded and got upset because he falsely believed the owner allowed the customer to take his place in the ATM line. According to the owner, “Fruit” was beyond frustrated with the situation – so the owner asked him leave the store. “Fruit” refused to go – so the owner picked up the phone to call police. That’s when Fruit the Drug Dealer threatened to kill the owner if he actually did call the police (which he promptly called). By the time cops arrived, Fruit was long gone.
Fruit the Drug dealer is described as a skinny man wearing a red hat and a black jacket. Nothing further.
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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string(7544) "In a flash, all of Atlanta’s population became obsessed with one thing: Wiping their asses. And consumed with fear over supplies running out for said ass-wiping. Toilet-paper thievery reports suddenly surpassed reports of more conventionally appealing items for bandits, like flat-screen TVs. And it wasn’t just experienced robbers with TP on the brain: A seemingly sane and wholesome-looking elderly grandfather knocked innocent children to the ground for a single roll of Quilted Northern Ultra-Plush.
Grocery store parking lots across ATL abruptly transformed into bitch-slap combat zones, one pitting a suburban housewife versus a bearded urban hipster with a man-bun — with both sides madly wrestling over 18-packs of Charmin Ultra-Soft 2-Ply Mega Rolls.
Of course, it’s not just in the ATL. More than 3,000 miles away, the [https://www.kgw.com/article/news/local/the-story/newport-police-ask-residents-not-to-call-911-over-toilet-paper-shortages/283-159f5b17-f923-41cf-b5f0-52fb187baf96|police department in Newport, Oregon] got fed up with fielding “emergency” calls over toilet-paper shortages. “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” Newport police wrote on [https://www.facebook.com/NewportPolice/photos/a.10150611383469944/10151320061939944/?type=3&theater|Facebook]. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance. In fact, history offers you many other options in your time of need if you cannot find a roll: Mayans used corncobs … Farmers used pages from the Farmers Almanac.” The police post goes on to suggest “grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting in front of you … Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”
Humanity still hasn’t recovered.
__ALL THAT GLITTERS:__ One evening, a 35-year-old woman was walking in downtown Atlanta, past the horse-driven carriages lined up for tourist rides on Luckie Street. Suddenly, “a horse bit her right arm.”
A cop noted: “The woman described the horse as a 17-hand draft Paint color horse with black and white spots and gold glitter polish(ed) hooves.”
The horse’s handler — a man with a short haircut — asked the bitten woman if she wanted a free carriage ride, to make up for the horse bite. No thanks, said the woman, refusing the bonus ride.
Also, she refused to go to the emergency room, insisting the horse bite wasn’t that bad. The reporting officer noted clearly visible bruises and abrasions on the woman’s right arm.
__REVENGE WITH CONDIMENTS:__ A 20-year-old man walked into the Grant Park Police Department to report a dispute with his girlfriend. He said he posted something on social media that his girlfriend did not agree with, and she began to accuse him of cheating. “Since then, she has texted him multiple times, threatening to send nude pictures of him to his mother and calling his job,” the reporting cop noted. “He believes she also trashed his vehicle by tossing mustard all over it.”
The boyfriend had proof, showing texts and video to cops. He said he would try to get a restraining order.
__MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS:__ Around midnight in Grant Park, a cop peered out a Zone 3 precinct window — and spotted a blue Nissan Altima idling at the intersection of Cherokee and Atlanta avenues. Other cars piled up “behind the Nissan, honking their horns to get the vehicle to move,” the observant cop noted.
The cop walked outside to check it out. “I approached the vehicle and saw a man slumped over the driver seat. I then started knocking on the windows, but got no response from the driver. I then went to the driver’s side of the vehicle and opened the door and started shaking (the driver) … after about 20 seconds of shaking him, he finally responded.”
The cop asked: Did you have any alcoholic drinks tonight?
The driver: Yes, I did.
“He then stepped out (of the car) and could barely keep his balance. Medics arrived, examined him, and said he wasn’t injured, just drunk.
Just to review: Not only did this gentleman pass out in his car around midnight, directly in front of the Grant Park police station. He also did so a) in his girlfriend’s car and b) while driving on a suspended license. Talk about making cops’ jobs super-easy.
The man was arrested and charged with a DUI Less Safe; impeding the flow of traffic; and driving with a suspended license. His girlfriend was allowed to come pick up her Nissan Altima before her boyfriend went to jail.
__GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE MAN!__ In the Old Fourth Ward around 7:30 a.m., a 31-year-old woman called police to her apartment on Linden Avenue. “(She) said she woke up to get ready for the day before her boyfriend (and father of her child),” a cop noted: The girlfriend said her boyfriend woke up and was upset that he overslept and was now late for work — and blamed her for not waking him up … so he flipped over her mattress and dresser, upside down,” the cop noted. “The boyfriend then grabbed the blinds in their bedroom, ripping and removing several sections of blinds from the window.” The girlfriend started to call 911 — and her boyfriend punched a hole in the hallway wall and left the apartment. She wasn’t sure where he went.
Cops noted that the girlfriend wasn’t concerned or afraid about her personal safety … but she wanted a police report because her angry lover had damaged items belonging to the apartment management company, like the wall and blinds. “(The girlfriend) said her boyfriend has anger issues but has never put his hands on her,” the cop noted.
__CHIP ON THE SHOULDER?__ In the Joyland neighborhood, an argument between a customer and a store manager broke out at a convenience store on Pryor Road. A 29-year-old woman said she bought some Lays Potato Chips for her and her children. The woman said she and her kids were eating the bag of chips when she realized the bottom of the bag contained more than chips. “When she opened it, dead ants were in the bottom of the chip bag.”
The woman wanted a refund for her insect-infested potato chips. And she wanted a full refund for everything she bought at the store : $12. The store manager refused to give her any refund.
A cop showed up and heard both sides. “I informed (the woman) that she’d have to take up a claim with Lays Company,” the reporting officer noted.
__BITTER FRUIT:__ On Auburn Avenue, a grocery store owner said a local drug dealer named “Fruit” was harassing a male customer in his 60s who was withdrawing money from the ATM located inside the store. The customer complained to the grocery-store owner – and suddenly Fruit intruded and got upset because he falsely believed the owner allowed the customer to take his place in the ATM line. According to the owner, “Fruit” was beyond frustrated with the situation – so the owner asked him leave the store. “Fruit” refused to go – so the owner picked up the phone to call police. That’s when Fruit the Drug Dealer threatened to kill the owner if he actually did call the police (which he promptly called). By the time cops arrived, Fruit was long gone.
Fruit the Drug dealer is described as a skinny man wearing a red hat and a black jacket. Nothing further.
''The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.''"
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string(7682) " 0420 Blot TP Final Web 2020-04-10T20:11:05+00:00 0420_blot-TP-final_web.jpg blotter And other tales of life in the ATL 30525 2020-04-10T20:05:35+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Wiped out! jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris Lauren Keating Lauren Keating 2020-04-10T20:05:35+00:00 In a flash, all of Atlanta’s population became obsessed with one thing: Wiping their asses. And consumed with fear over supplies running out for said ass-wiping. Toilet-paper thievery reports suddenly surpassed reports of more conventionally appealing items for bandits, like flat-screen TVs. And it wasn’t just experienced robbers with TP on the brain: A seemingly sane and wholesome-looking elderly grandfather knocked innocent children to the ground for a single roll of Quilted Northern Ultra-Plush.
Grocery store parking lots across ATL abruptly transformed into bitch-slap combat zones, one pitting a suburban housewife versus a bearded urban hipster with a man-bun — with both sides madly wrestling over 18-packs of Charmin Ultra-Soft 2-Ply Mega Rolls.
Of course, it’s not just in the ATL. More than 3,000 miles away, the police department in Newport, Oregon got fed up with fielding “emergency” calls over toilet-paper shortages. “It’s hard to believe that we even have to post this,” Newport police wrote on Facebook. “Do not call 9-1-1 just because you ran out of toilet paper. You will survive without our assistance. In fact, history offers you many other options in your time of need if you cannot find a roll: Mayans used corncobs … Farmers used pages from the Farmers Almanac.” The police post goes on to suggest “grocery receipts, newspaper, cloth rags, lace, cotton balls, and that empty toilet paper roll sitting in front of you … Just don’t call 9-1-1. We cannot bring you toilet paper.”
Humanity still hasn’t recovered.
ALL THAT GLITTERS: One evening, a 35-year-old woman was walking in downtown Atlanta, past the horse-driven carriages lined up for tourist rides on Luckie Street. Suddenly, “a horse bit her right arm.”
A cop noted: “The woman described the horse as a 17-hand draft Paint color horse with black and white spots and gold glitter polish(ed) hooves.”
The horse’s handler — a man with a short haircut — asked the bitten woman if she wanted a free carriage ride, to make up for the horse bite. No thanks, said the woman, refusing the bonus ride.
Also, she refused to go to the emergency room, insisting the horse bite wasn’t that bad. The reporting officer noted clearly visible bruises and abrasions on the woman’s right arm.
REVENGE WITH CONDIMENTS: A 20-year-old man walked into the Grant Park Police Department to report a dispute with his girlfriend. He said he posted something on social media that his girlfriend did not agree with, and she began to accuse him of cheating. “Since then, she has texted him multiple times, threatening to send nude pictures of him to his mother and calling his job,” the reporting cop noted. “He believes she also trashed his vehicle by tossing mustard all over it.”
The boyfriend had proof, showing texts and video to cops. He said he would try to get a restraining order.
MASTER OF THE OBVIOUS: Around midnight in Grant Park, a cop peered out a Zone 3 precinct window — and spotted a blue Nissan Altima idling at the intersection of Cherokee and Atlanta avenues. Other cars piled up “behind the Nissan, honking their horns to get the vehicle to move,” the observant cop noted.
The cop walked outside to check it out. “I approached the vehicle and saw a man slumped over the driver seat. I then started knocking on the windows, but got no response from the driver. I then went to the driver’s side of the vehicle and opened the door and started shaking (the driver) … after about 20 seconds of shaking him, he finally responded.”
The cop asked: Did you have any alcoholic drinks tonight?
The driver: Yes, I did.
“He then stepped out (of the car) and could barely keep his balance. Medics arrived, examined him, and said he wasn’t injured, just drunk.
Just to review: Not only did this gentleman pass out in his car around midnight, directly in front of the Grant Park police station. He also did so a) in his girlfriend’s car and b) while driving on a suspended license. Talk about making cops’ jobs super-easy.
The man was arrested and charged with a DUI Less Safe; impeding the flow of traffic; and driving with a suspended license. His girlfriend was allowed to come pick up her Nissan Altima before her boyfriend went to jail.
GOOD MORNING, SUNSHINE MAN! In the Old Fourth Ward around 7:30 a.m., a 31-year-old woman called police to her apartment on Linden Avenue. “(She) said she woke up to get ready for the day before her boyfriend (and father of her child),” a cop noted: The girlfriend said her boyfriend woke up and was upset that he overslept and was now late for work — and blamed her for not waking him up … so he flipped over her mattress and dresser, upside down,” the cop noted. “The boyfriend then grabbed the blinds in their bedroom, ripping and removing several sections of blinds from the window.” The girlfriend started to call 911 — and her boyfriend punched a hole in the hallway wall and left the apartment. She wasn’t sure where he went.
Cops noted that the girlfriend wasn’t concerned or afraid about her personal safety … but she wanted a police report because her angry lover had damaged items belonging to the apartment management company, like the wall and blinds. “(The girlfriend) said her boyfriend has anger issues but has never put his hands on her,” the cop noted.
CHIP ON THE SHOULDER? In the Joyland neighborhood, an argument between a customer and a store manager broke out at a convenience store on Pryor Road. A 29-year-old woman said she bought some Lays Potato Chips for her and her children. The woman said she and her kids were eating the bag of chips when she realized the bottom of the bag contained more than chips. “When she opened it, dead ants were in the bottom of the chip bag.”
The woman wanted a refund for her insect-infested potato chips. And she wanted a full refund for everything she bought at the store : $12. The store manager refused to give her any refund.
A cop showed up and heard both sides. “I informed (the woman) that she’d have to take up a claim with Lays Company,” the reporting officer noted.
BITTER FRUIT: On Auburn Avenue, a grocery store owner said a local drug dealer named “Fruit” was harassing a male customer in his 60s who was withdrawing money from the ATM located inside the store. The customer complained to the grocery-store owner – and suddenly Fruit intruded and got upset because he falsely believed the owner allowed the customer to take his place in the ATM line. According to the owner, “Fruit” was beyond frustrated with the situation – so the owner asked him leave the store. “Fruit” refused to go – so the owner picked up the phone to call police. That’s when Fruit the Drug Dealer threatened to kill the owner if he actually did call the police (which he promptly called). By the time cops arrived, Fruit was long gone.
Fruit the Drug dealer is described as a skinny man wearing a red hat and a black jacket. Nothing further.
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string(6083) "A mother-daughter spat turned ugly on Magnolia Street in northwest Atlanta. The 34-year-old daughter said her mother hit her over the head with a plant. The daughter showed no signs of serious injury and declined medical attention. The mother responded, telling police: “My daughter is a drug addict, and fuck that bitch, she is a hoe (sic).”
However the 52-year-old mother had a swollen eye and a big knot on her forehead. Also, the mother smelled of booze and admitted to having had “two shots earlier.” Also, “she was slurring her words and needed help walking because she was wobbling,” the cop noted.
Neighbors said they saw the mom hit her daughter with a plant … and also saw the mother trip and fall on her face, hitting the same location as her existing injuries. The mother kept cussing during her police interview and refused to stop screaming at her daughter. So police took the wobbly mother to jail for disorderly conduct while drunk.
SLIPPERY WHEN WET: At Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, a 37-year-old man from Athens, Georgia, walked up to a Delta ticketing counter, whipped out his penis, and started pissing on the floor near the employees.
“When I arrived, I observed the urine on the floor,” the reporting cop noted. Also noted: The 37-year-old man was drunk out of his mind. Apparently, he had been denied boarding on an earlier flight because he was so frigging drunk. So he hung out at the airport for another two hours, then unloaded his pee spray on the Delta employees.
SLIPPERY WHEN WET, PART II: A 38-year-old woman said she was just waking up inside her apartment on Camellia Lane in the Lindbergh neighborhood, when she heard “rapid knocking.” She opened her door slightly to see if someone was there. “She stated (that) a woman with red hair and a black jacket barged into her apartment,” the reporting police officer noted. “The red-haired woman said that this was her apartment and would not leave.”
The first woman said that at first, she thought the red-haired woman was in the wrong apartment unit — but the red-haired woman insisted that it was hers.
“She said the red-haired woman grabbed her and wrestled her out of the apartment. When she tried to get back in, (the red-haired woman) grabbed her by the hair and began throwing her against the apartment wall and punching her,” the cop wrote. She stated that the red-haired woman then peed outside her front door.
When police finally arrived, they spotted the red-haired woman trying to leave through the back door. Cops searched the red-haired woman and found suspected crack and cocaine, plus a scale and $1,192 cash. They identified her as a 31-year-old woman from Gwinnett County (Dacula). The red-haired woman was arrested for trespassing, battery, and drug possession. The first woman swore she’d never met the red-haired woman before in her life. Nothing further.
HOW TO LOSE $$ AND SELF-RESPECT: In the Westview neighborhood, officers responded to a marital dispute on Alvarado Terrace. The 40-year-old husband said he was arguing with his wife because he suspects her of cheating. His next move? Give her money.
“(The husband) then advised that he gave her $600 in cash, but now wanted it back,” the reporting officer wrote. “(The husband) mentioned that he wants a police report documented just in case he would like to pursue (charges) to acquire his money back from his wife.”
As for the possibly cheating wife — she was already gone by the time police arrived on the scene. Cops gave the despondent 40-year-old husband a courtesy ride to his aunt’s house on Collier Drive.
VEGAN THIEF WITH DESIGNER TASTE? In the Collier Heights neighborhood, a 26-year-old woman said she returned to her apartment on Peek Road and discovered someone had thrown a package of raw meat onto her bedroom floor. Also, $13,350 worth of her belongings were missing, including: a snakeskin Gucci wallet ($750); black Gucci boots with red laces ($1,200); black and brown Louis Vuitton boots ($1,200); purple-and-black Balenciaga shoes ($900); a brown Louis Vuitton duffle bag with a pink strap ($4,500); and a red Gucci purse ($900).
The woman’s neighbors hadn’t heard a thing.
“I asked (the 26-year-old woman) if she had any enemies or someone whom she suspects could do something like this, and she said no,” the reporting cop noted.
STUPID CRIME OF THE WEEK: Around 11:30 p.m., a 34-year-old man was dining at Fellini’s Pizza on Ponce de Leon Avenue. Suddenly, a Fellini’s manager walked up and informed the 34-year-old man that someone had just broken a window on his black Jeep Grand Cherokee in the restaurant’s parking lot.
The 34-year-old man went outside and saw his front driver’s-side window had been smashed.
Did the perps steal anything from his car? Nope. “The vehicle was not entered,” an officer wrote.
And how did the window-smashers get to Fellini’s? Oh, in a new black Jaguar.
Cops reviewed Fellini’s surveillance footage and saw what appeared to be a brand-new black Jaguar roll into the parking lot. The Jaguar driver parked right next to the 34-year-old’s jeep. Two men with flashlights hopped out and began looking into nearby cars. Then, Fellini’s manager and another employee ran outside and started screaming at the two men, who hopped back into their Jaguar and left.
BITCH OF THE MONTH: A 26-year-old boyfriend and girlfriend got into a bad argument at his home on Calloway Drive. According to the boyfriend, the girlfriend smashed his TV on the ground; poured bleach on about $1,000 worth of his clothes; and broke the rear windshield of his silver Toyota Camry. All her shenanigans took place in front of the boyfriend’s 73-year-old grandfather. The girlfriend was long gone by the time cops arrived. Ironically, the boyfriend told police, his girlfriend lives on Valentine Street (which may or may not exist). —CL—
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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__SLIPPERY WHEN WET:__ At Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, a 37-year-old man from Athens, Georgia, walked up to a Delta ticketing counter, whipped out his penis, and started pissing on the floor near the employees.
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__SLIPPERY WHEN WET, PART II:__ A 38-year-old woman said she was just waking up inside her apartment on Camellia Lane in the Lindbergh neighborhood, when she heard “rapid knocking.” She opened her door slightly to see if someone was there. “She stated (that) a woman with red hair and a black jacket barged into her apartment,” the reporting police officer noted. “The red-haired woman said that this was her apartment and would not leave.”
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“She said the red-haired woman grabbed her and wrestled her out of the apartment. When she tried to get back in, (the red-haired woman) grabbed her by the hair and began throwing her against the apartment wall and punching her,” the cop wrote. She stated that the red-haired woman then peed outside her front door.
When police finally arrived, they spotted the red-haired woman trying to leave through the back door. Cops searched the red-haired woman and found suspected crack and cocaine, plus a scale and $1,192 cash. They identified her as a 31-year-old woman from Gwinnett County (Dacula). The red-haired woman was arrested for trespassing, battery, and drug possession. The first woman swore she’d never met the red-haired woman before in her life. Nothing further.
__HOW TO LOSE $$ AND SELF-RESPECT:__ In the Westview neighborhood, officers responded to a marital dispute on Alvarado Terrace. The 40-year-old husband said he was arguing with his wife because he suspects her of cheating. His next move? Give her money.
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__VEGAN THIEF WITH DESIGNER TASTE?__ In the Collier Heights neighborhood, a 26-year-old woman said she returned to her apartment on Peek Road and discovered someone had thrown a package of raw meat onto her bedroom floor. Also, $13,350 worth of her belongings were missing, including: a snakeskin Gucci wallet ($750); black Gucci boots with red laces ($1,200); black and brown Louis Vuitton boots ($1,200); purple-and-black Balenciaga shoes ($900); a brown Louis Vuitton duffle bag with a pink strap ($4,500); and a red Gucci purse ($900).
The woman’s neighbors hadn’t heard a thing.
“I asked (the 26-year-old woman) if she had any enemies or someone whom she suspects could do something like this, and she said no,” the reporting cop noted.
__STUPID CRIME OF THE WEEK:__ Around 11:30 p.m., a 34-year-old man was dining at Fellini’s Pizza on Ponce de Leon Avenue. Suddenly, a Fellini’s manager walked up and informed the 34-year-old man that someone had just broken a window on his black Jeep Grand Cherokee in the restaurant’s parking lot.
The 34-year-old man went outside and saw his front driver’s-side window had been smashed.
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And how did the window-smashers get to Fellini’s? Oh, in a new black Jaguar.
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__BITCH OF THE MONTH:__ A 26-year-old boyfriend and girlfriend got into a bad argument at his home on Calloway Drive. According to the boyfriend, the girlfriend smashed his TV on the ground; poured bleach on about $1,000 worth of his clothes; and broke the rear windshield of his silver Toyota Camry. All her shenanigans took place in front of the boyfriend’s 73-year-old grandfather. The girlfriend was long gone by the time cops arrived. Ironically, the boyfriend told police, his girlfriend lives on Valentine Street (which may or may not exist). __—CL—__
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string(6510) " 0320blot Plant Fight Final Web 2020-03-02T18:19:47+00:00 0320blot-plant-fight-final_web.jpg blotter And other tales of life in the ATL 29578 2020-03-02T18:18:00+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Mommie Dearest jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris Lauren Keating Lauren Keating 2020-03-02T18:18:00+00:00 A mother-daughter spat turned ugly on Magnolia Street in northwest Atlanta. The 34-year-old daughter said her mother hit her over the head with a plant. The daughter showed no signs of serious injury and declined medical attention. The mother responded, telling police: “My daughter is a drug addict, and fuck that bitch, she is a hoe (sic).”
However the 52-year-old mother had a swollen eye and a big knot on her forehead. Also, the mother smelled of booze and admitted to having had “two shots earlier.” Also, “she was slurring her words and needed help walking because she was wobbling,” the cop noted.
Neighbors said they saw the mom hit her daughter with a plant … and also saw the mother trip and fall on her face, hitting the same location as her existing injuries. The mother kept cussing during her police interview and refused to stop screaming at her daughter. So police took the wobbly mother to jail for disorderly conduct while drunk.
SLIPPERY WHEN WET: At Hartsfield-Jackson International Airport, a 37-year-old man from Athens, Georgia, walked up to a Delta ticketing counter, whipped out his penis, and started pissing on the floor near the employees.
“When I arrived, I observed the urine on the floor,” the reporting cop noted. Also noted: The 37-year-old man was drunk out of his mind. Apparently, he had been denied boarding on an earlier flight because he was so frigging drunk. So he hung out at the airport for another two hours, then unloaded his pee spray on the Delta employees.
SLIPPERY WHEN WET, PART II: A 38-year-old woman said she was just waking up inside her apartment on Camellia Lane in the Lindbergh neighborhood, when she heard “rapid knocking.” She opened her door slightly to see if someone was there. “She stated (that) a woman with red hair and a black jacket barged into her apartment,” the reporting police officer noted. “The red-haired woman said that this was her apartment and would not leave.”
The first woman said that at first, she thought the red-haired woman was in the wrong apartment unit — but the red-haired woman insisted that it was hers.
“She said the red-haired woman grabbed her and wrestled her out of the apartment. When she tried to get back in, (the red-haired woman) grabbed her by the hair and began throwing her against the apartment wall and punching her,” the cop wrote. She stated that the red-haired woman then peed outside her front door.
When police finally arrived, they spotted the red-haired woman trying to leave through the back door. Cops searched the red-haired woman and found suspected crack and cocaine, plus a scale and $1,192 cash. They identified her as a 31-year-old woman from Gwinnett County (Dacula). The red-haired woman was arrested for trespassing, battery, and drug possession. The first woman swore she’d never met the red-haired woman before in her life. Nothing further.
HOW TO LOSE $$ AND SELF-RESPECT: In the Westview neighborhood, officers responded to a marital dispute on Alvarado Terrace. The 40-year-old husband said he was arguing with his wife because he suspects her of cheating. His next move? Give her money.
“(The husband) then advised that he gave her $600 in cash, but now wanted it back,” the reporting officer wrote. “(The husband) mentioned that he wants a police report documented just in case he would like to pursue (charges) to acquire his money back from his wife.”
As for the possibly cheating wife — she was already gone by the time police arrived on the scene. Cops gave the despondent 40-year-old husband a courtesy ride to his aunt’s house on Collier Drive.
VEGAN THIEF WITH DESIGNER TASTE? In the Collier Heights neighborhood, a 26-year-old woman said she returned to her apartment on Peek Road and discovered someone had thrown a package of raw meat onto her bedroom floor. Also, $13,350 worth of her belongings were missing, including: a snakeskin Gucci wallet ($750); black Gucci boots with red laces ($1,200); black and brown Louis Vuitton boots ($1,200); purple-and-black Balenciaga shoes ($900); a brown Louis Vuitton duffle bag with a pink strap ($4,500); and a red Gucci purse ($900).
The woman’s neighbors hadn’t heard a thing.
“I asked (the 26-year-old woman) if she had any enemies or someone whom she suspects could do something like this, and she said no,” the reporting cop noted.
STUPID CRIME OF THE WEEK: Around 11:30 p.m., a 34-year-old man was dining at Fellini’s Pizza on Ponce de Leon Avenue. Suddenly, a Fellini’s manager walked up and informed the 34-year-old man that someone had just broken a window on his black Jeep Grand Cherokee in the restaurant’s parking lot.
The 34-year-old man went outside and saw his front driver’s-side window had been smashed.
Did the perps steal anything from his car? Nope. “The vehicle was not entered,” an officer wrote.
And how did the window-smashers get to Fellini’s? Oh, in a new black Jaguar.
Cops reviewed Fellini’s surveillance footage and saw what appeared to be a brand-new black Jaguar roll into the parking lot. The Jaguar driver parked right next to the 34-year-old’s jeep. Two men with flashlights hopped out and began looking into nearby cars. Then, Fellini’s manager and another employee ran outside and started screaming at the two men, who hopped back into their Jaguar and left.
BITCH OF THE MONTH: A 26-year-old boyfriend and girlfriend got into a bad argument at his home on Calloway Drive. According to the boyfriend, the girlfriend smashed his TV on the ground; poured bleach on about $1,000 worth of his clothes; and broke the rear windshield of his silver Toyota Camry. All her shenanigans took place in front of the boyfriend’s 73-year-old grandfather. The girlfriend was long gone by the time cops arrived. Ironically, the boyfriend told police, his girlfriend lives on Valentine Street (which may or may not exist). —CL—
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. Illustration by Tray Butler 0,0,10 cl-issue-march-2020 blotter THE BLOTTER: Mommie Dearest "
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THE BLOTTER: Mommie Dearest Police Blotter
Monday March 2, 2020 01:18 pm EST
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(9946) "PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ: Yes, you can actually get arrested for stealing items from your hotel room. A 42-year-old woman who calls herself “Winter Moon” tried to rip off the Buckhead Ritz Carlton Hotel on Peachtree Road — by snagging two wildly expensive vases worth $5,000 total. But apparently, she didn’t check her grip.
As Winter Moon walked toward a hotel exit door, she “dropped one vase, causing it to smash to the floor,” a Ritz security guard noted. So she’s just destroyed a $2,500 vase that she was trying to steal.
The guard said he approached the woman and asked her: Why are you trying to leave the hotel with two Ritz vases? “All she said was that she was sorry,” the guard recalled, adding that she refused most of his questions. The only information he obtained: Her name is “Winter Moon,” and she hails from Loganville.
Initially, the security guard decided to go easy on Winter Moon — and not bust her for stealing or call police. Instead, the guard was willing to let her go, if she agreed to a physical search and then immediately left the Ritz Carlton hotel. Alas, Winter Moon agreed to a body search — and the guard found another pilfered item hidden in her bag: a gold Ritz elephant. Still, the guard let her go free. Then, Winter Moon departed the luxury hotel in an Uber. Her failed Ritz Carlton rip-off wasn’t reported until the next day, when the security guard apparently realized his Ritz managers needed a police report for an insurance claim to replace that fancy $2,500 blue vase shattered in Winter Moon’s clumsy grip. So the guard called police, and now Winter Moon’s attempted crime could land her in trouble.
JUST PLAIN BALLSY, PART 1: Also in Buckhead, someone stole a blue Lamborghini worth at least $200,000 from a car wash on Piedmont Road. In broad daylight. During Atlanta rush hour. The car-wash manager gave police surveillance video, which clearly shows a black Dodge Charger (occupied by at least two men) stopping near the unattended Lamborghini as the two cars were in the “wash” tunnel. Then, one passenger exits the Dodge Charger and steals the 2019 Lamborghini Urus. The Lamborghini theft happened between 6:52 and 6:53 p.m. The Lamborghini was last spotted heading down Piedmont Road toward Buford Highway.
ROAD RAGE ENDS IN MOUTH: A 56-year-old Tucker man said a female driver in a Dodge Charger almost hit his 2019 black Lexus as he entered the intersection of Peachtree Road and Ralph McGill Boulevard, near the 85/75 ramps. The Tucker man said he caught up to the female driver and asked her: Why are you driving so fast?
“It’s a free country. I can do what the fuck I want,” the female driver replied.
Then, the female driver allegedly started spraying “an unknown liquid” into the Tucker man’s Lexus, and some of the “mystery liquid” got into his mouth, causing it to burn. Then, the female driver fled the scene.
The Tucker man called police, claiming the interior of his Lexus was damaged and giving police the female driver’s license plate number. The reporting cop noted. “I observed an unknown substance splashed on (his) car.”
And the Mystery Liquid? No further clues on the soggy spray landing in the Tucker man’s mouth and car.
THE EX FILES: Late-night booty calls involving ex-partners = always risky. Case in point: A 25-year-old man invited his ex-girlfriend over to his apartment on Parkland Drive in the Lindbergh neighborhood. When she arrived, the ex-girlfriend was already both intoxicated and belligerent. The man says his ex-girlfriend wanted to drink more tequila from a bottle he kept in his apartment. But he told her no, because she was already too drunk.
So then, they have sex.
“Both were in bed when the ex-girlfriend suddenly said, ‘I love you,’” the cop noted in his police report.
And how did the 25-year-old man respond? Well, he did not say “I love you” back. That’s when his naked ex-girlfriend started screaming and yelling. The man stepped out of his bedroom long enough to call some guy to come pick up his ex-girlfriend. But the guy wants to have a long phone conversation. Eventually, the 25-year-old man walks back to his bedroom: Now his naked, drunk ex-girlfriend is holding a black-and-silver handgun and she’s “waving it in the air.”
The man asks the ex-girlfriend to put down the gun. Several times. At one point, the ex-girlfriend allegedly points the gun at him and says, “Watch. I’m going to do it.” He calls 911. The naked ex-girlfriend decides to get dressed and leaves his apartment, still toting her gun, before police arrived.
No one was injured. But the man filed a police report about the ex-girlfriend’s naked gun threats.
BITCH WITH A DOG: A married man and woman in their 20s walk into a clothing store on Metropolitan Parkway. The wife has an alleged service dog.
Immediately, the store manager tells the wife that she has to leave the store with the dog. (Um, hey, is that legal? Service dogs allowed almost everywhere, right?)
After a brief discussion, the wife pulls a weapon out of her purse, points it in the direction of the store manager, and says: “I have a gun and you don’t.”
Then, the wife promptly departs the store with her alleged service dog, and drives away in her Chevy Cruze — leaving behind her husband. Perhaps not the sharpest knife in the drawer, the husband is still hanging out in the clothing store when police arrive. Hubby refuses to give cops any information on his wife. Twenty-eight-year-old hubby gets written up in said police report.
PISSED-OFF GIRLFRIEND’S REVENGE: A drunk couple got into a spat at a Peyton Road apartment complex. The boyfriend and girlfriend (both in their 40s) live in separate apartments next door to each other. According to the boyfriend, every night they hang out, play cards, and drink beer in one of their adjacent apartments. But tonight, trouble erupted during a card-game disagreement.
The boyfriend says they were just “chilling and drinking” until they started bickering over the card-game rules, which somehow led to the girlfriend urinating on his clothes to get revenge over his (possible) lack of fidelity. So he called police to settle their spat.
The girlfriend freely admitted to police officers that she peed on his clothes. Also, the boyfriend admitted to hitting her, “but he also mentioned that his girlfriend was already mad due to the fact that she thought he was cheating on her … and he hit her out of self-defense,” wrote the reporting officer.
The girlfriend, age 42, was extremely intoxicated and “loud,” noted the cop, who decided she was the primary aggressor and took her to jail.
JUST PLAIN BALLSY, PART II: A 45-year-old female manager of a Dollar Tree store on Cascade Avenue called police and reported a strange crime. She said while she was working the previous night around 6 p.m., a man called her store’s landline phone and identified himself as a Dollar Tree district manager. She said the male caller ordered her to 1) close the store early, 2) remove all money from the store’s registers and safe, and 3) leave only $35 cash in the store. Then, the male caller told the female manager to wait a few minutes, and then call him back on her cell phone to receive further instructions.
The weird part: So the female manager says she complied with the male caller’s demands, emptying the Dollar Tree store’s safe and registers of more than $2,700. She even leaves $35 cash in the store, as the caller insisted.
Then, she waits and calls him back on her cell phone. She says the male caller orders her to walk across the street to Kroger and buy disposable, reloadable debit cards. She said the caller warned her that someone will follow her to Kroger to ensure she actually does as she’s told.
So the female manager goes to Kroger and deposits $2,700 onto reloadable debit cards. Then, she says, the male caller orders her to scratch the back of the debit cards to reveal the passcode numbers — and read those numbers to him.
The female manager says she does all this, and then the male caller promptly removed most of the $2,700 from the debit cards. She adds: The caller told her to keep two disposable debit cards on her, and he’d get those card numbers the next morning — and then he kept on texting and calling her cell phone into the early hours of the morning.
Yes, this is the story that the female manager tells her Dollar Tree boss to explain why her store is missing almost $2,700 from the safe and cash registers. Her boss promptly calls police.
The reporting officer listens carefully to the female manager’s convoluted story of how she was robbed by a male caller. Question #1: “I asked the female manager: Did you think any of the male caller’s requests were suspicious?”
“No,” the female manager replies.
Does she have any proof? Or evidence? Well, the female manager does have Kroger receipts for all the disposable debit cards. She turns those over to police.
The police officer has one question for the female manager’s boss: Do any of the female manager’s actions, including turning over close to $2,700 to a stranger calling the store, follow any formal or informal protocols/rules for Dollar Tree managers?
Nope, that’s a firm negative, according to the Dollar Tree boss.
So the cop arrests the female manager, age 45, who’s been on the job for four months. Then, he runs a computer check on her criminal record: Turns out, the female manager has two warrants — one for shoplifting in Milledgeville, and another for larceny in Baldwin County, Georgia. Yup, she’s going to jail for scamming her employer, Dollar Tree, of nearly $2,700. — CL —
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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string(9978) "P__UTTIN’ ON THE RITZ:__ Yes, you can actually get arrested for stealing items from your hotel room. A 42-year-old woman who calls herself “Winter Moon” tried to rip off the Buckhead Ritz Carlton Hotel on Peachtree Road — by snagging two wildly expensive vases worth $5,000 total. But apparently, she didn’t check her grip.
As Winter Moon walked toward a hotel exit door, she “dropped one vase, causing it to smash to the floor,” a Ritz security guard noted. So she’s just destroyed a $2,500 vase that she was trying to steal.
The guard said he approached the woman and asked her: Why are you trying to leave the hotel with two Ritz vases? “All she said was that she was sorry,” the guard recalled, adding that she refused most of his questions. The only information he obtained: Her name is “Winter Moon,” and she hails from Loganville.
Initially, the security guard decided to go easy on Winter Moon — and not bust her for stealing or call police. Instead, the guard was willing to let her go, if she agreed to a physical search and then immediately left the Ritz Carlton hotel. Alas, Winter Moon agreed to a body search — and the guard found another pilfered item hidden in her bag: a gold Ritz elephant. Still, the guard let her go free. Then, Winter Moon departed the luxury hotel in an Uber. Her failed Ritz Carlton rip-off wasn’t reported until the next day, when the security guard apparently realized his Ritz managers needed a police report for an insurance claim to replace that fancy $2,500 blue vase shattered in Winter Moon’s clumsy grip. So the guard called police, and now Winter Moon’s attempted crime could land her in trouble.
__JUST PLAIN BALLSY, PART 1:__ Also in Buckhead, someone stole a blue Lamborghini worth at least $200,000 from a car wash on Piedmont Road. In broad daylight. During Atlanta rush hour. The car-wash manager gave police surveillance video, which clearly shows a black Dodge Charger (occupied by at least two men) stopping near the unattended Lamborghini as the two cars were in the “wash” tunnel. Then, one passenger exits the Dodge Charger and steals the 2019 Lamborghini Urus. The Lamborghini theft happened between 6:52 and 6:53 p.m. The Lamborghini was last spotted heading down Piedmont Road toward Buford Highway.
__ROAD RAGE ENDS IN MOUTH:__ A 56-year-old Tucker man said a female driver in a Dodge Charger almost hit his 2019 black Lexus as he entered the intersection of Peachtree Road and Ralph McGill Boulevard, near the 85/75 ramps. The Tucker man said he caught up to the female driver and asked her: Why are you driving so fast?
“It’s a free country. I can do what the fuck I want,” the female driver replied.
Then, the female driver allegedly started spraying “an unknown liquid” into the Tucker man’s Lexus, and some of the “mystery liquid” got into his mouth, causing it to burn. Then, the female driver fled the scene.
The Tucker man called police, claiming the interior of his Lexus was damaged and giving police the female driver’s license plate number. The reporting cop noted. “I observed an unknown substance splashed on (his) car.”
And the Mystery Liquid? No further clues on the soggy spray landing in the Tucker man’s mouth and car.
__THE EX FILES:__ Late-night booty calls involving ex-partners = always risky. Case in point: A 25-year-old man invited his ex-girlfriend over to his apartment on Parkland Drive in the Lindbergh neighborhood. When she arrived, the ex-girlfriend was already both intoxicated and belligerent. The man says his ex-girlfriend wanted to drink more tequila from a bottle he kept in his apartment. But he told her no, because she was already too drunk.
So then, they have sex.
“Both were in bed when the ex-girlfriend suddenly said, ‘I love you,’” the cop noted in his police report.
And how did the 25-year-old man respond? Well, he did not say “I love you” back. That’s when his naked ex-girlfriend started screaming and yelling. The man stepped out of his bedroom long enough to call some guy to come pick up his ex-girlfriend. But the guy wants to have a long phone conversation. Eventually, the 25-year-old man walks back to his bedroom: Now his naked, drunk ex-girlfriend is holding a black-and-silver handgun and she’s “waving it in the air.”
The man asks the ex-girlfriend to put down the gun. Several times. At one point, the ex-girlfriend allegedly points the gun at him and says, “Watch. I’m going to do it.” He calls 911. The naked ex-girlfriend decides to get dressed and leaves his apartment, still toting her gun, before police arrived.
No one was injured. But the man filed a police report about the ex-girlfriend’s naked gun threats.
__BITCH WITH A DOG:__ A married man and woman in their 20s walk into a clothing store on Metropolitan Parkway. The wife has an alleged service dog.
Immediately, the store manager tells the wife that she has to leave the store with the dog. (Um, hey, is that legal? Service dogs allowed almost everywhere, right?)
After a brief discussion, the wife pulls a weapon out of her purse, points it in the direction of the store manager, and says: “I have a gun and you don’t.”
Then, the wife promptly departs the store with her alleged service dog, and drives away in her Chevy Cruze — leaving behind her husband. Perhaps not the sharpest knife in the drawer, the husband is still hanging out in the clothing store when police arrive. Hubby refuses to give cops any information on his wife. Twenty-eight-year-old hubby gets written up in said police report.
__PISSED-OFF GIRLFRIEND’S REVENGE:__ A drunk couple got into a spat at a Peyton Road apartment complex. The boyfriend and girlfriend (both in their 40s) live in separate apartments next door to each other. According to the boyfriend, every night they hang out, play cards, and drink beer in one of their adjacent apartments. But tonight, trouble erupted during a card-game disagreement.
The boyfriend says they were just “chilling and drinking” until they started bickering over the card-game rules, which somehow led to the girlfriend urinating on his clothes to get revenge over his (possible) lack of fidelity. So he called police to settle their spat.
The girlfriend freely admitted to police officers that she peed on his clothes. Also, the boyfriend admitted to hitting her, “but he also mentioned that his girlfriend was already mad due to the fact that she thought he was cheating on her … and he hit her out of self-defense,” wrote the reporting officer.
The girlfriend, age 42, was extremely intoxicated and “loud,” noted the cop, who decided she was the primary aggressor and took her to jail.
__JUST PLAIN BALLSY, PART II:__ A 45-year-old female manager of a Dollar Tree store on Cascade Avenue called police and reported a strange crime. She said while she was working the previous night around 6 p.m., a man called her store’s landline phone and identified himself as a Dollar Tree district manager. She said the male caller ordered her to 1) close the store early, 2) remove all money from the store’s registers and safe, and 3) leave only $35 cash in the store. Then, the male caller told the female manager to wait a few minutes, and then call him back on her cell phone to receive further instructions.
The weird part: So the female manager says she complied with the male caller’s demands, emptying the Dollar Tree store’s safe and registers of more than $2,700. She even leaves $35 cash in the store, as the caller insisted.
Then, she waits and calls him back on her cell phone. She says the male caller orders her to walk across the street to Kroger and buy disposable, reloadable debit cards. She said the caller warned her that someone will follow her to Kroger to ensure she actually does as she’s told.
So the female manager goes to Kroger and deposits $2,700 onto reloadable debit cards. Then, she says, the male caller orders her to scratch the back of the debit cards to reveal the passcode numbers — and read those numbers to him.
The female manager says she does all this, and then the male caller promptly removed most of the $2,700 from the debit cards. She adds: The caller told her to keep two disposable debit cards on her, and he’d get those card numbers the next morning — and then he kept on texting and calling her cell phone into the early hours of the morning.
Yes, this is the story that the female manager tells her Dollar Tree boss to explain why her store is missing almost $2,700 from the safe and cash registers. Her boss promptly calls police.
The reporting officer listens carefully to the female manager’s convoluted story of how she was robbed by a male caller. Question #1: “I asked the female manager: Did you think any of the male caller’s requests were suspicious?”
“No,” the female manager replies.
Does she have any proof? Or evidence? Well, the female manager does have Kroger receipts for all the disposable debit cards. She turns those over to police.
The police officer has one question for the female manager’s boss: Do any of the female manager’s actions, including turning over close to $2,700 to a stranger calling the store, follow any formal or informal protocols/rules for Dollar Tree managers?
Nope, that’s a firm negative, according to the Dollar Tree boss.
So the cop arrests the female manager, age 45, who’s been on the job for four months. Then, he runs a computer check on her criminal record: Turns out, the female manager has two warrants — one for shoplifting in Milledgeville, and another for larceny in Baldwin County, Georgia. Yup, she’s going to jail for scamming her employer, Dollar Tree, of nearly $2,700. __— CL —__
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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string(10331) " 0220blot Winter Moon 01 2020-02-04T20:48:19+00:00 0220blot-winter-moon-01.jpg And other tales of life in the ATL 28530 2020-02-04T19:03:37+00:00 THE BLOTTER: You break it, you stole it will.cardwell@gmail.com Will Cardwell LAUREN KEATING 2020-02-04T19:03:37+00:00 PUTTIN’ ON THE RITZ: Yes, you can actually get arrested for stealing items from your hotel room. A 42-year-old woman who calls herself “Winter Moon” tried to rip off the Buckhead Ritz Carlton Hotel on Peachtree Road — by snagging two wildly expensive vases worth $5,000 total. But apparently, she didn’t check her grip.
As Winter Moon walked toward a hotel exit door, she “dropped one vase, causing it to smash to the floor,” a Ritz security guard noted. So she’s just destroyed a $2,500 vase that she was trying to steal.
The guard said he approached the woman and asked her: Why are you trying to leave the hotel with two Ritz vases? “All she said was that she was sorry,” the guard recalled, adding that she refused most of his questions. The only information he obtained: Her name is “Winter Moon,” and she hails from Loganville.
Initially, the security guard decided to go easy on Winter Moon — and not bust her for stealing or call police. Instead, the guard was willing to let her go, if she agreed to a physical search and then immediately left the Ritz Carlton hotel. Alas, Winter Moon agreed to a body search — and the guard found another pilfered item hidden in her bag: a gold Ritz elephant. Still, the guard let her go free. Then, Winter Moon departed the luxury hotel in an Uber. Her failed Ritz Carlton rip-off wasn’t reported until the next day, when the security guard apparently realized his Ritz managers needed a police report for an insurance claim to replace that fancy $2,500 blue vase shattered in Winter Moon’s clumsy grip. So the guard called police, and now Winter Moon’s attempted crime could land her in trouble.
JUST PLAIN BALLSY, PART 1: Also in Buckhead, someone stole a blue Lamborghini worth at least $200,000 from a car wash on Piedmont Road. In broad daylight. During Atlanta rush hour. The car-wash manager gave police surveillance video, which clearly shows a black Dodge Charger (occupied by at least two men) stopping near the unattended Lamborghini as the two cars were in the “wash” tunnel. Then, one passenger exits the Dodge Charger and steals the 2019 Lamborghini Urus. The Lamborghini theft happened between 6:52 and 6:53 p.m. The Lamborghini was last spotted heading down Piedmont Road toward Buford Highway.
ROAD RAGE ENDS IN MOUTH: A 56-year-old Tucker man said a female driver in a Dodge Charger almost hit his 2019 black Lexus as he entered the intersection of Peachtree Road and Ralph McGill Boulevard, near the 85/75 ramps. The Tucker man said he caught up to the female driver and asked her: Why are you driving so fast?
“It’s a free country. I can do what the fuck I want,” the female driver replied.
Then, the female driver allegedly started spraying “an unknown liquid” into the Tucker man’s Lexus, and some of the “mystery liquid” got into his mouth, causing it to burn. Then, the female driver fled the scene.
The Tucker man called police, claiming the interior of his Lexus was damaged and giving police the female driver’s license plate number. The reporting cop noted. “I observed an unknown substance splashed on (his) car.”
And the Mystery Liquid? No further clues on the soggy spray landing in the Tucker man’s mouth and car.
THE EX FILES: Late-night booty calls involving ex-partners = always risky. Case in point: A 25-year-old man invited his ex-girlfriend over to his apartment on Parkland Drive in the Lindbergh neighborhood. When she arrived, the ex-girlfriend was already both intoxicated and belligerent. The man says his ex-girlfriend wanted to drink more tequila from a bottle he kept in his apartment. But he told her no, because she was already too drunk.
So then, they have sex.
“Both were in bed when the ex-girlfriend suddenly said, ‘I love you,’” the cop noted in his police report.
And how did the 25-year-old man respond? Well, he did not say “I love you” back. That’s when his naked ex-girlfriend started screaming and yelling. The man stepped out of his bedroom long enough to call some guy to come pick up his ex-girlfriend. But the guy wants to have a long phone conversation. Eventually, the 25-year-old man walks back to his bedroom: Now his naked, drunk ex-girlfriend is holding a black-and-silver handgun and she’s “waving it in the air.”
The man asks the ex-girlfriend to put down the gun. Several times. At one point, the ex-girlfriend allegedly points the gun at him and says, “Watch. I’m going to do it.” He calls 911. The naked ex-girlfriend decides to get dressed and leaves his apartment, still toting her gun, before police arrived.
No one was injured. But the man filed a police report about the ex-girlfriend’s naked gun threats.
BITCH WITH A DOG: A married man and woman in their 20s walk into a clothing store on Metropolitan Parkway. The wife has an alleged service dog.
Immediately, the store manager tells the wife that she has to leave the store with the dog. (Um, hey, is that legal? Service dogs allowed almost everywhere, right?)
After a brief discussion, the wife pulls a weapon out of her purse, points it in the direction of the store manager, and says: “I have a gun and you don’t.”
Then, the wife promptly departs the store with her alleged service dog, and drives away in her Chevy Cruze — leaving behind her husband. Perhaps not the sharpest knife in the drawer, the husband is still hanging out in the clothing store when police arrive. Hubby refuses to give cops any information on his wife. Twenty-eight-year-old hubby gets written up in said police report.
PISSED-OFF GIRLFRIEND’S REVENGE: A drunk couple got into a spat at a Peyton Road apartment complex. The boyfriend and girlfriend (both in their 40s) live in separate apartments next door to each other. According to the boyfriend, every night they hang out, play cards, and drink beer in one of their adjacent apartments. But tonight, trouble erupted during a card-game disagreement.
The boyfriend says they were just “chilling and drinking” until they started bickering over the card-game rules, which somehow led to the girlfriend urinating on his clothes to get revenge over his (possible) lack of fidelity. So he called police to settle their spat.
The girlfriend freely admitted to police officers that she peed on his clothes. Also, the boyfriend admitted to hitting her, “but he also mentioned that his girlfriend was already mad due to the fact that she thought he was cheating on her … and he hit her out of self-defense,” wrote the reporting officer.
The girlfriend, age 42, was extremely intoxicated and “loud,” noted the cop, who decided she was the primary aggressor and took her to jail.
JUST PLAIN BALLSY, PART II: A 45-year-old female manager of a Dollar Tree store on Cascade Avenue called police and reported a strange crime. She said while she was working the previous night around 6 p.m., a man called her store’s landline phone and identified himself as a Dollar Tree district manager. She said the male caller ordered her to 1) close the store early, 2) remove all money from the store’s registers and safe, and 3) leave only $35 cash in the store. Then, the male caller told the female manager to wait a few minutes, and then call him back on her cell phone to receive further instructions.
The weird part: So the female manager says she complied with the male caller’s demands, emptying the Dollar Tree store’s safe and registers of more than $2,700. She even leaves $35 cash in the store, as the caller insisted.
Then, she waits and calls him back on her cell phone. She says the male caller orders her to walk across the street to Kroger and buy disposable, reloadable debit cards. She said the caller warned her that someone will follow her to Kroger to ensure she actually does as she’s told.
So the female manager goes to Kroger and deposits $2,700 onto reloadable debit cards. Then, she says, the male caller orders her to scratch the back of the debit cards to reveal the passcode numbers — and read those numbers to him.
The female manager says she does all this, and then the male caller promptly removed most of the $2,700 from the debit cards. She adds: The caller told her to keep two disposable debit cards on her, and he’d get those card numbers the next morning — and then he kept on texting and calling her cell phone into the early hours of the morning.
Yes, this is the story that the female manager tells her Dollar Tree boss to explain why her store is missing almost $2,700 from the safe and cash registers. Her boss promptly calls police.
The reporting officer listens carefully to the female manager’s convoluted story of how she was robbed by a male caller. Question #1: “I asked the female manager: Did you think any of the male caller’s requests were suspicious?”
“No,” the female manager replies.
Does she have any proof? Or evidence? Well, the female manager does have Kroger receipts for all the disposable debit cards. She turns those over to police.
The police officer has one question for the female manager’s boss: Do any of the female manager’s actions, including turning over close to $2,700 to a stranger calling the store, follow any formal or informal protocols/rules for Dollar Tree managers?
Nope, that’s a firm negative, according to the Dollar Tree boss.
So the cop arrests the female manager, age 45, who’s been on the job for four months. Then, he runs a computer check on her criminal record: Turns out, the female manager has two warrants — one for shoplifting in Milledgeville, and another for larceny in Baldwin County, Georgia. Yup, she’s going to jail for scamming her employer, Dollar Tree, of nearly $2,700. — CL —
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. ILLUSTRATION BY TRAY BUTLER 0,0,1 THE BLOTTER: You break it, you stole it "
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THE BLOTTER: You break it, you stole it Police Blotter
Tuesday February 4, 2020 02:03 pm EST
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(8753) "You say you want a resolution? You’ve been bad this year. So bad.
Fortunately, ATL has plenty of sinners to keep you company. Here are some New Year’s Resolutions for you … to help kick off 2020.
RESOLUTION #1: STOP GAMBLING: A man in jeans was playing the Georgia Skill gambling machine inside a gas station on McDonough Boulevard. Suddenly the man got up, grabbed a can of soup, and hurled the soup can at the gaming machine, shattering the glass. The whole soup-rage incident was captured on video, but the man raced out of the gas station before police arrived.
RESOLUTION # 2: CONTROL YOUR SNACKING: In the Westview neighborhood, a boyfriend and girlfriend returned from work around 6:30 p.m. and discovered their Oakland Drive home near the BeltLine had been burglarized.
Apparently, the robber had gourmet taste.
“During the burglary, the perpetrator decided to prepare himself multiple meals in the victims’ kitchen. He prepared spicy chorizo on their stove, prepared a ham sandwich, and also indulged in some sardines,” the reporting police officer wrote.
“During this culinary experience, the suspect touched multiple items in the kitchen, such as bottles of ketchup and hot sauce. The ketchup was brand new, and the victims hadn’t touched it. I was able to lift fingerprints from both condiment bottles,” the cop recalled, noting that “the suspect also attempted to move their TV stand in the living room, leaving fingerprints which were subsequently collected.”
Items reported stolen include: a small saw, an iPhone 7 that no longer worked, a Samsung tablet, a green camping bag, and three credit cards (Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and JC Penny’s) from the girlfriend’s wallet.
Oddly enough, the couple got most of their stuff back.
The next day, a guy was walking his dog near the West BeltLine at the intersection of Allen and Elbert avenues. He found the couple’s green camping bag lying near the roadway — and called police. Cops looked inside the bag and found “several tools” belonging to the couple, along with cans of tuna, a Samsung tablet, and the nonworking iPhone 7.
RESOLUTION #3: KNOW WHEN TO CHILL … AND WHEN TO GO: A security guard was doing his rounds at an outdoor flea market near Adair Park when suddenly, he noticed a man dressed in black clothes, lying on top of a large refrigerator.
The guard asked: “Why are you on top of the refrigerator?”
The man’s response: He was being chased by two pitbull guard dogs through the flea market.
The security guard repeatedly asked the man to climb down from his refrigerator perch — and immediately leave the flea market. But the man refused.
So the guard called the police.
The reporting cop recalled, “I met with the suspect, who stated he was being chased by two dogs and ended up on top of the refrigerator. He said he was bitten on his left foot during the chase.”
The cop asked: “What are you doing at the closed flea market after midnight?”
The man replied: “Looking for a scooter.”
The cop noted: “There was no scooter...but there were other things of value on the property.”
The man admitted he jumped the gate to enter the flea market without consent.
The cop charged the 20-year-old man with criminal trespassing and took him to Grady Hospital for his dog-bite injuries.
RESOLUTION #4: ZIP IT!!: One morning a 32-year old woman wearing a black leather mini-dress was blocking the doorway of a hotel on Linden Avenue, preventing people from entering and leaving the hotel.
She was very agitated, screaming and yelling at the security guards. Also, she was unsteady on her feet, and her breath smelled like booze.
Apparently she was trying to solicit men at the hotel bar earlier .… before she moved to the doorway.
A cop arrived and asked her to explain why she was so upset.
“She began to speak loudly, she would never finish a thought or make a complete sentence. She kept ranting and changing stories, and it just wasn’t making any sense,” the cop noted. “She kept trying to talk over everyone, stating she knew the law as she yelled out at the security guard.
“She then revealed she was just trying to eat breakfast (at the hotel), and they were supposed to call her an Uber. Also, she revealed that she was not a paying hotel guest... and she claimed to be meeting some people there (but she didn’t have any names or room numbers).”
The lady in the leather mini-dress just wouldn’t shut up. Eventually, police had enough of her incoherent rambling — and took her to jail for trespassing.
RESOLUTION #5: GET HELP FOR THE WHISTLING IN YOUR EARS: A 22-year-old woman in South Buckhead called police and reported “a male was on her porch patio, whistling.”
This was not the first time the whistling individual has been on her porch, she claimed.
“The woman advised the person never attempts to get into her apartment but he stays on the porch,” the cop noted.
So the cops went to her apartment on Peachtree Valley Road to check it out.
“When we arrived, nobody was on the porch, and (the 22-year-old woman) wasn’t sure if somebody was on the porch — she just heard whistling outside her window. Nothing further.”
RESOLUTION #6: QUIT SMOKING: A 42-year-old man met his friends for dinner at a Buckhead restaurant called The Southern Gentlemen. The man said after dinner, he and his friends adjourned to the restaurant’s front patio for a smoke break. While the 42-year-old was puffing on a cig, he says a total stranger — a tall guy wearing a grey sweatshirt — stormed onto the patio, walked up to him, and asked, “Who insulted my girlfriend?”
Before the 42-year-old could explain that he had nothing to do with insulting anyone’s girlfriend, the tall stranger punched him in the right eye and left the patio.
Apparently, the tall stranger left the Southern Gentleman restaurant before police arrived.
RESOLUTION #7: KEEP YOUR PANTS ON: A 60-year-old man was causing a disturbance at Grady Hospital — so three security guards tried to kick him off the hospital property.
“In return, (the man) unzipped his pants and pulled out his genitals as to insult the Grady security officers, and then proceeded to try to walk off.”
Of course, his genital display drew a crowd of staring hospital patrons. Also, his junk show was captured on video.
“There was video (of him) performing the indecent act... and a multitude of other people around who appeared to be watching the incident,” noted an officer.
Police searched the man and found three packs of Viagra pills. His spontaneous dick show landed him in jail for indecent exposure.
RESOLUTION #8: GET MORE SLEEP: In West End around five a.m., an officer was sitting in a parked patrol car on a median of Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard. His lights were activated, producing a steady beam of blue light. Looking up, he saw a white Chrysler 300 swerving and “traveling head-on toward the patrol vehicle. The driver (a 27-year-old woman) had her head down and looked up seconds before colliding with the patrol vehicle, then attempted to swerve back into her lane.”
Both cars sustained significant damage. No one was seriously hurt. A second officer arrived to question the female driver, who was chatting on her cell phone.
The cop recalls: “I asked her if I could talk to her for a minute. (She) signaled she was almost done using the phone.”
Finally, she put her phone away. Her eyes were watery and blood-shot, and her breath smelled of booze.
The driver claimed she fell asleep behind the wheel after work and only had two drinks. Also, the driver said she was “going home and attempting to get on 1-75 South by trying to get on I-20,” which makes no sense.
She went to jail for DUI, after blowing well over the legal limit for alcohol and failing several sobriety tests.
RESOLUTION #9: DON’T BE SO PARANOID: In the Old Fourth Ward, a 25-year-old woman called police and said a white car was following her. A cop went to her apartment on Boulevard to hear her story.
“She stated that a month ago, when she was walking out of her school, a man offered her a CD and she refused. She stated that the man seemed aggressive to give her the CD,” the reporting officer noted. “Today, she said she went to take out the trash at home, and a white vehicle driving south on Boulevard stopped and backed up to where she was at. (The woman) then ran back to her apartment. She didn’t recognize the subject either time.” —CL—
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.
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Fortunately, ATL has plenty of sinners to keep you company. Here are some New Year’s Resolutions for you … to help kick off 2020.
__RESOLUTION #1: STOP GAMBLING:__ A man in jeans was playing the Georgia Skill gambling machine inside a gas station on McDonough Boulevard. Suddenly the man got up, grabbed a can of soup, and hurled the soup can at the gaming machine, shattering the glass. The whole soup-rage incident was captured on video, but the man raced out of the gas station before police arrived.
__RESOLUTION # 2: CONTROL YOUR SNACKING:__ In the Westview neighborhood, a boyfriend and girlfriend returned from work around 6:30 p.m. and discovered their Oakland Drive home near the BeltLine had been burglarized.
Apparently, the robber had gourmet taste.
“During the burglary, the perpetrator decided to prepare himself multiple meals in the victims’ kitchen. He prepared spicy chorizo on their stove, prepared a ham sandwich, and also indulged in some sardines,” the reporting police officer wrote.
“During this culinary experience, the suspect touched multiple items in the kitchen, such as bottles of ketchup and hot sauce. The ketchup was brand new, and the victims hadn’t touched it. I was able to lift fingerprints from both condiment bottles,” the cop recalled, noting that “the suspect also attempted to move their TV stand in the living room, leaving fingerprints which were subsequently collected.”
Items reported stolen include: a small saw, an iPhone 7 that no longer worked, a Samsung tablet, a green camping bag, and three credit cards (Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and JC Penny’s) from the girlfriend’s wallet.
Oddly enough, the couple got most of their stuff back.
The next day, a guy was walking his dog near the West BeltLine at the intersection of Allen and Elbert avenues. He found the couple’s green camping bag lying near the roadway — and called police. Cops looked inside the bag and found “several tools” belonging to the couple, along with cans of tuna, a Samsung tablet, and the nonworking iPhone 7.
__RESOLUTION #3: KNOW WHEN TO CHILL … AND WHEN TO GO:__ A security guard was doing his rounds at an outdoor flea market near Adair Park when suddenly, he noticed a man dressed in black clothes, lying on top of a large refrigerator.
The guard asked: “Why are you on top of the refrigerator?”
The man’s response: He was being chased by two pitbull guard dogs through the flea market.
The security guard repeatedly asked the man to climb down from his refrigerator perch — and immediately leave the flea market. But the man refused.
So the guard called the police.
The reporting cop recalled, “I met with the suspect, who stated he was being chased by two dogs and ended up on top of the refrigerator. He said he was bitten on his left foot during the chase.”
The cop asked: “What are you doing at the closed flea market after midnight?”
The man replied: “Looking for a scooter.”
The cop noted: “There was no scooter...but there were other things of value on the property.”
The man admitted he jumped the gate to enter the flea market without consent.
The cop charged the 20-year-old man with criminal trespassing and took him to Grady Hospital for his dog-bite injuries.
__RESOLUTION #4: ZIP IT!!:__ One morning a 32-year old woman wearing a black leather mini-dress was blocking the doorway of a hotel on Linden Avenue, preventing people from entering and leaving the hotel.
She was very agitated, screaming and yelling at the security guards. Also, she was unsteady on her feet, and her breath smelled like booze.
Apparently she was trying to solicit men at the hotel bar earlier .… before she moved to the doorway.
A cop arrived and asked her to explain why she was so upset.
“She began to speak loudly, she would never finish a thought or make a complete sentence. She kept ranting and changing stories, and it just wasn’t making any sense,” the cop noted. “She kept trying to talk over everyone, stating she knew the law as she yelled out at the security guard.
“She then revealed she was just trying to eat breakfast (at the hotel), and they were supposed to call her an Uber. Also, she revealed that she was not a paying hotel guest... and she claimed to be meeting some people there (but she didn’t have any names or room numbers).”
The lady in the leather mini-dress just wouldn’t shut up. Eventually, police had enough of her incoherent rambling — and took her to jail for trespassing.
__RESOLUTION #5: GET HELP FOR THE WHISTLING IN YOUR EARS__: A 22-year-old woman in South Buckhead called police and reported “a male was on her porch patio, whistling.”
This was not the first time the whistling individual has been on her porch, she claimed.
“The woman advised the person never attempts to get into her apartment but he stays on the porch,” the cop noted.
So the cops went to her apartment on Peachtree Valley Road to check it out.
“When we arrived, nobody was on the porch, and (the 22-year-old woman) wasn’t sure if somebody was on the porch — she just heard whistling outside her window. Nothing further.”
__RESOLUTION #6: QUIT SMOKING:__ A 42-year-old man met his friends for dinner at a Buckhead restaurant called The Southern Gentlemen. The man said after dinner, he and his friends adjourned to the restaurant’s front patio for a smoke break. While the 42-year-old was puffing on a cig, he says a total stranger — a tall guy wearing a grey sweatshirt — stormed onto the patio, walked up to him, and asked, “Who insulted my girlfriend?”
Before the 42-year-old could explain that he had nothing to do with insulting anyone’s girlfriend, the tall stranger punched him in the right eye and left the patio.
Apparently, the tall stranger left the Southern Gentleman restaurant before police arrived.
__RESOLUTION #7: KEEP YOUR PANTS ON:__ A 60-year-old man was causing a disturbance at Grady Hospital — so three security guards tried to kick him off the hospital property.
“In return, (the man) unzipped his pants and pulled out his genitals as to insult the Grady security officers, and then proceeded to try to walk off.”
Of course, his genital display drew a crowd of staring hospital patrons. Also, his junk show was captured on video.
“There was video (of him) performing the indecent act... and a multitude of other people around who appeared to be watching the incident,” noted an officer.
Police searched the man and found three packs of Viagra pills. His spontaneous dick show landed him in jail for indecent exposure.
__RESOLUTION #8: GET MORE SLEEP:__ In West End around five a.m., an officer was sitting in a parked patrol car on a median of Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard. His lights were activated, producing a steady beam of blue light. Looking up, he saw a white Chrysler 300 swerving and “traveling head-on toward the patrol vehicle. The driver (a 27-year-old woman) had her head down and looked up seconds before colliding with the patrol vehicle, then attempted to swerve back into her lane.”
Both cars sustained significant damage. No one was seriously hurt. A second officer arrived to question the female driver, who was chatting on her cell phone.
The cop recalls: “I asked her if I could talk to her for a minute. (She) signaled she was almost done using the phone.”
Finally, she put her phone away. Her eyes were watery and blood-shot, and her breath smelled of booze.
The driver claimed she fell asleep behind the wheel after work and only had two drinks. Also, the driver said she was “going home and attempting to get on 1-75 South by trying to get on I-20,” which makes no sense.
She went to jail for DUI, after blowing well over the legal limit for alcohol and failing several sobriety tests.
__RESOLUTION #9: DON’T BE SO PARANOID:__ In the Old Fourth Ward, a 25-year-old woman called police and said a white car was following her. A cop went to her apartment on Boulevard to hear her story.
“She stated that a month ago, when she was walking out of her school, a man offered her a CD and she refused. She stated that the man seemed aggressive to give her the CD,” the reporting officer noted. “Today, she said she went to take out the trash at home, and a white vehicle driving south on Boulevard stopped and backed up to where she was at. (The woman) then ran back to her apartment. She didn’t recognize the subject either time.” __—CL—__
''The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.''
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string(9175) " 0120 Blot Slots Final Web 2020-01-03T15:35:31+00:00 0120-blot-slots-final_web.jpg theblotter And other tales of life in the ATL 27178 2020-01-01T15:33:00+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Resolutions for the hell of it jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING 2020-01-01T15:33:00+00:00 You say you want a resolution? You’ve been bad this year. So bad.
Fortunately, ATL has plenty of sinners to keep you company. Here are some New Year’s Resolutions for you … to help kick off 2020.
RESOLUTION #1: STOP GAMBLING: A man in jeans was playing the Georgia Skill gambling machine inside a gas station on McDonough Boulevard. Suddenly the man got up, grabbed a can of soup, and hurled the soup can at the gaming machine, shattering the glass. The whole soup-rage incident was captured on video, but the man raced out of the gas station before police arrived.
RESOLUTION # 2: CONTROL YOUR SNACKING: In the Westview neighborhood, a boyfriend and girlfriend returned from work around 6:30 p.m. and discovered their Oakland Drive home near the BeltLine had been burglarized.
Apparently, the robber had gourmet taste.
“During the burglary, the perpetrator decided to prepare himself multiple meals in the victims’ kitchen. He prepared spicy chorizo on their stove, prepared a ham sandwich, and also indulged in some sardines,” the reporting police officer wrote.
“During this culinary experience, the suspect touched multiple items in the kitchen, such as bottles of ketchup and hot sauce. The ketchup was brand new, and the victims hadn’t touched it. I was able to lift fingerprints from both condiment bottles,” the cop recalled, noting that “the suspect also attempted to move their TV stand in the living room, leaving fingerprints which were subsequently collected.”
Items reported stolen include: a small saw, an iPhone 7 that no longer worked, a Samsung tablet, a green camping bag, and three credit cards (Sephora, Victoria’s Secret, and JC Penny’s) from the girlfriend’s wallet.
Oddly enough, the couple got most of their stuff back.
The next day, a guy was walking his dog near the West BeltLine at the intersection of Allen and Elbert avenues. He found the couple’s green camping bag lying near the roadway — and called police. Cops looked inside the bag and found “several tools” belonging to the couple, along with cans of tuna, a Samsung tablet, and the nonworking iPhone 7.
RESOLUTION #3: KNOW WHEN TO CHILL … AND WHEN TO GO: A security guard was doing his rounds at an outdoor flea market near Adair Park when suddenly, he noticed a man dressed in black clothes, lying on top of a large refrigerator.
The guard asked: “Why are you on top of the refrigerator?”
The man’s response: He was being chased by two pitbull guard dogs through the flea market.
The security guard repeatedly asked the man to climb down from his refrigerator perch — and immediately leave the flea market. But the man refused.
So the guard called the police.
The reporting cop recalled, “I met with the suspect, who stated he was being chased by two dogs and ended up on top of the refrigerator. He said he was bitten on his left foot during the chase.”
The cop asked: “What are you doing at the closed flea market after midnight?”
The man replied: “Looking for a scooter.”
The cop noted: “There was no scooter...but there were other things of value on the property.”
The man admitted he jumped the gate to enter the flea market without consent.
The cop charged the 20-year-old man with criminal trespassing and took him to Grady Hospital for his dog-bite injuries.
RESOLUTION #4: ZIP IT!!: One morning a 32-year old woman wearing a black leather mini-dress was blocking the doorway of a hotel on Linden Avenue, preventing people from entering and leaving the hotel.
She was very agitated, screaming and yelling at the security guards. Also, she was unsteady on her feet, and her breath smelled like booze.
Apparently she was trying to solicit men at the hotel bar earlier .… before she moved to the doorway.
A cop arrived and asked her to explain why she was so upset.
“She began to speak loudly, she would never finish a thought or make a complete sentence. She kept ranting and changing stories, and it just wasn’t making any sense,” the cop noted. “She kept trying to talk over everyone, stating she knew the law as she yelled out at the security guard.
“She then revealed she was just trying to eat breakfast (at the hotel), and they were supposed to call her an Uber. Also, she revealed that she was not a paying hotel guest... and she claimed to be meeting some people there (but she didn’t have any names or room numbers).”
The lady in the leather mini-dress just wouldn’t shut up. Eventually, police had enough of her incoherent rambling — and took her to jail for trespassing.
RESOLUTION #5: GET HELP FOR THE WHISTLING IN YOUR EARS: A 22-year-old woman in South Buckhead called police and reported “a male was on her porch patio, whistling.”
This was not the first time the whistling individual has been on her porch, she claimed.
“The woman advised the person never attempts to get into her apartment but he stays on the porch,” the cop noted.
So the cops went to her apartment on Peachtree Valley Road to check it out.
“When we arrived, nobody was on the porch, and (the 22-year-old woman) wasn’t sure if somebody was on the porch — she just heard whistling outside her window. Nothing further.”
RESOLUTION #6: QUIT SMOKING: A 42-year-old man met his friends for dinner at a Buckhead restaurant called The Southern Gentlemen. The man said after dinner, he and his friends adjourned to the restaurant’s front patio for a smoke break. While the 42-year-old was puffing on a cig, he says a total stranger — a tall guy wearing a grey sweatshirt — stormed onto the patio, walked up to him, and asked, “Who insulted my girlfriend?”
Before the 42-year-old could explain that he had nothing to do with insulting anyone’s girlfriend, the tall stranger punched him in the right eye and left the patio.
Apparently, the tall stranger left the Southern Gentleman restaurant before police arrived.
RESOLUTION #7: KEEP YOUR PANTS ON: A 60-year-old man was causing a disturbance at Grady Hospital — so three security guards tried to kick him off the hospital property.
“In return, (the man) unzipped his pants and pulled out his genitals as to insult the Grady security officers, and then proceeded to try to walk off.”
Of course, his genital display drew a crowd of staring hospital patrons. Also, his junk show was captured on video.
“There was video (of him) performing the indecent act... and a multitude of other people around who appeared to be watching the incident,” noted an officer.
Police searched the man and found three packs of Viagra pills. His spontaneous dick show landed him in jail for indecent exposure.
RESOLUTION #8: GET MORE SLEEP: In West End around five a.m., an officer was sitting in a parked patrol car on a median of Joseph E. Lowery Boulevard. His lights were activated, producing a steady beam of blue light. Looking up, he saw a white Chrysler 300 swerving and “traveling head-on toward the patrol vehicle. The driver (a 27-year-old woman) had her head down and looked up seconds before colliding with the patrol vehicle, then attempted to swerve back into her lane.”
Both cars sustained significant damage. No one was seriously hurt. A second officer arrived to question the female driver, who was chatting on her cell phone.
The cop recalls: “I asked her if I could talk to her for a minute. (She) signaled she was almost done using the phone.”
Finally, she put her phone away. Her eyes were watery and blood-shot, and her breath smelled of booze.
The driver claimed she fell asleep behind the wheel after work and only had two drinks. Also, the driver said she was “going home and attempting to get on 1-75 South by trying to get on I-20,” which makes no sense.
She went to jail for DUI, after blowing well over the legal limit for alcohol and failing several sobriety tests.
RESOLUTION #9: DON’T BE SO PARANOID: In the Old Fourth Ward, a 25-year-old woman called police and said a white car was following her. A cop went to her apartment on Boulevard to hear her story.
“She stated that a month ago, when she was walking out of her school, a man offered her a CD and she refused. She stated that the man seemed aggressive to give her the CD,” the reporting officer noted. “Today, she said she went to take out the trash at home, and a white vehicle driving south on Boulevard stopped and backed up to where she was at. (The woman) then ran back to her apartment. She didn’t recognize the subject either time.” —CL—
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.
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THE BLOTTER: Resolutions for the hell of it Police Blotter
Wednesday January 1, 2020 10:33 am EST
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(7443) "JOKER SEQUEL, ATL-STYLE: A woman was returning home from the West End Kroger to her condo on Donnelly Avenue. As she walked down the driveway toward her building, a thin man dressed as the “Joker” from the Batman movie franchise jumped out of the bushes near her door.
The skinny Joker was “wearing white paint on his face, red lipstick, and a pink wig with long hair,” according to the police report.
Homegrown Joker never spoke a single word. He just grabbed the woman’s black Calvin Klein purse from her shoulder. The woman “attempted to hold onto the purse strap,” and that’s when she got a small cut on her finger.
The woman said the Joker “ran back into the bushes” with her purse. She believes he used a cut-through route to escape into some neighboring apartments.
Missing items from the woman’s purse included a Visa card “with a picture of Betty Boop on it,” the cop noted. Yes, a Betty Boop credit card, stolen by the Joker.
TOO MUCH EGG NOG AT THE HOLIDAY PARTY? A boyfriend-girlfriend couple in their 20s were hanging out in their Midtown apartment on 14th Street, when suddenly they heard weird noises outside. It was late and they weren’t expecting any visitors, so they got spooked and called police, worried about a potential robbery.
Three cops responded and started searching the couple’s apartment — finding nothing amiss inside. Then, police checked the outside balcony: Bingo! Sitting on the balcony, a 27-year-old man wearing only his underwear … with a half-empty bottle of vodka next to him.
Cops asked: What the heck are you doing in your underwear on this balcony?
Underwear Man responded, “I guess I had too much to drink and entered the wrong apartment. I’m sorry.”
However, the Midtown couple decided to be super-cool about finding a drunk stranger wearing underwear on their balcony: They decided not to press charges.
Atlanta police were not as forgiving. They charged Underwear Man with disorderly conduct under the influence — and took him to jail. Which seems a bit unfair. Hopefully, Underwear Man got a few more clothing items before cops tossed him in the holding cell.
WILY COUGAR ESCAPES: A brouhaha broke out at the Mac Cosmetics store in Ponce City Market. A 22-year-old man strolled in with a woman 10 years his senior (age 32). They both started yelling, “Ohhhh, we in the fucking Mac Store!” so loudly that other shoppers turned and stared.
Then, the 32-year-old woman took it up a notch. Suddenly, she “spit in the face” of the Mac store’s assistant manager — and took off running. However, her young Boy Toy stayed behind and didn’t run away. So when a police officer arrived, he charged the 22-year-old man with disorderly conduct. Oh, those wily cougar getaways, leaving behind their young pranksters ….
NAKED SMELLY MAN SCREAMING: An officer responded to a fight call near Grady Hospital on Jesse Hill Jr. Drive. “Upon arrival, I was abruptly met by an irate male running up to my patrol car and attempting to jump into the back seat,” the cop noted. “He was screaming erratically and bleeding from the left side of his forehead, and saying that I was trying to kill him.”
The screaming man ”walked up extremely close to me,” just so the cop could get a strong whiff of his boozy breath.
“He continued to behave in a concerning manner as he requested for me to kill him, several times — and then proceeded to remove all his clothing to expose his bare body, from his neck to his knees,” the cop noted. “Due to his erratic behavior, multiple backup police units had to come to my aid” to coral the Mostly Naked Man and walk him just one block to Grady Detention Center, located across the street.
STRONG CONDOMNATION: In the Kirkwood neighborhood, an outraged 41-year-old woman flagged down an officer patrolling the streets. She said around 4 a.m. she went to a vacant home on Kirkwood Avenue “where most of the homeless people in the neighborhood be at” and knocked on the front door repeatedly. Apparently, she hangs out there on a regular basis.
Finally, a man responded to her persistent knocks. Opening the door, he said the 41-year-old woman absolutely could NOT come inside, because during her last visit, she’d left several messy, used condoms in a bedroom. Then, the man pushed her out of the doorway and slammed the front door closed.
The woman was stunned and pissed. But what exactly did she want police to do about this condom clash? Well, that’s unclear.
The cop simply filed a report outlining the woman’s beef. Nothing more.
CONDOM CLASH, PART II: A naked 37-year-old man and 29-year-old woman were fornicating between the sheets at a Midtown apartment on 19th Street. Suddenly, the woman noticed the man wasn’t wearing a condom. So she punched him in the face. Stunned, the man called police. “He said they usually have unprotected sex, and that he did not know it would be an issue when he realized the condom was not on,” the reporting cop noted. The man didn’t want to press charges against the woman for punching him … but he DID want police to make her leave his apartment. Both parties confirmed the sex was totally consensual — and that they were completely shitfaced drunk. The woman even “showed me text messages from (the guy) suggesting they would have intercourse as soon as she arrived,” the cop noted. The woman also refused to press any charges … and very willingly left the guy’s apartment.
DRUNK GIRL DOES FASHION CATWALK STRUT: A cop saw a black Chrysler 200 speeding and weaving on I-85 South. He activated his blue lights and siren and tried to stop the car at the Williams Street exit. “The vehicle continued south to Freedom Parkway, then to Boulevard, before finally stopping on Cain Street,“ the cop noted.
The driver, a 26-year-old Decatur woman, opened her door and stumbled out, stating she had to pee. She admitted she was “buzzed.”
“She was wearing high-heeled boots, which I recommended she remove for the subsequent field sobriety tests,” the cop noted. “(She) had to balance herself on me and I had to help her pull her shoes off.” The woman promptly failed the Walk-and-Turn test.
“After I gave her instructions for the One-Leg Stand, she began performing the Walk-and-Turn test again in a ‘runway model fashion’ and started dancing in front of my patrol car,” the cop noted.
Then, she flunked the Breathalyzer exam and attempted to “bite the card out of my hand to stop me from reading” the implied consent statement, the cop recalled.
The Decatur woman went to jail and demanded to pee twice more within 30 minutes. Nothing further.
WISDOM DOESN’T ALWAYS COME WITH AGE: In Southwest Atlanta, a man said he returned home at 3 a.m. from a night of revelry celebrating his 40th birthday. He parked his black Cadillac Escalade outside his home on Veltre Circle and went to sleep. “When he returned to his vehicle at 8 a.m. the next morning, he noticed all his vehicle doors were wide open,” a cop noted. “Upon further inspection, he noticed he was missing three rifles, a handgun, and his wallet.” The man said he believed he forgot to lock his car doors after returning home from his birthday bash. -CL-
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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string(7491) "J__OKER SEQUEL, ATL-STYLE:__ A woman was returning home from the West End Kroger to her condo on Donnelly Avenue. As she walked down the driveway toward her building, a thin man dressed as the “Joker” from the Batman movie franchise jumped out of the bushes near her door.
The skinny Joker was “wearing white paint on his face, red lipstick, and a pink wig with long hair,” according to the police report.
Homegrown Joker never spoke a single word. He just grabbed the woman’s black Calvin Klein purse from her shoulder. The woman “attempted to hold onto the purse strap,” and that’s when she got a small cut on her finger.
The woman said the Joker “ran back into the bushes” with her purse. She believes he used a cut-through route to escape into some neighboring apartments.
Missing items from the woman’s purse included a Visa card “with a picture of Betty Boop on it,” the cop noted. Yes, a Betty Boop credit card, stolen by the Joker.
__TOO MUCH EGG NOG AT THE HOLIDAY PARTY?__ A boyfriend-girlfriend couple in their 20s were hanging out in their Midtown apartment on 14th Street, when suddenly they heard weird noises outside. It was late and they weren’t expecting any visitors, so they got spooked and called police, worried about a potential robbery.
Three cops responded and started searching the couple’s apartment — finding nothing amiss inside. Then, police checked the outside balcony: Bingo! Sitting on the balcony, a 27-year-old man wearing only his underwear … with a half-empty bottle of vodka next to him.
Cops asked: ''What the heck are you doing in your underwear on this balcony?''
Underwear Man responded, “I guess I had too much to drink and entered the wrong apartment. I’m sorry.”
However, the Midtown couple decided to be super-cool about finding a drunk stranger wearing underwear on their balcony: They decided not to press charges.
Atlanta police were not as forgiving. They charged Underwear Man with disorderly conduct under the influence — and took him to jail. Which seems a bit unfair. Hopefully, Underwear Man got a few more clothing items before cops tossed him in the holding cell.
__WILY COUGAR ESCAPES:__ A brouhaha broke out at the Mac Cosmetics store in Ponce City Market. A 22-year-old man strolled in with a woman 10 years his senior (age 32). They both started yelling, “Ohhhh, we in the fucking Mac Store!” so loudly that other shoppers turned and stared.
Then, the 32-year-old woman took it up a notch. Suddenly, she “spit in the face” of the Mac store’s assistant manager — and took off running. However, her young Boy Toy stayed behind and didn’t run away. So when a police officer arrived, he charged the 22-year-old man with disorderly conduct. Oh, those wily cougar getaways, leaving behind their young pranksters ….
__NAKED SMELLY MAN SCREAMING:__ An officer responded to a fight call near Grady Hospital on Jesse Hill Jr. Drive. “Upon arrival, I was abruptly met by an irate male running up to my patrol car and attempting to jump into the back seat,” the cop noted. “He was screaming erratically and bleeding from the left side of his forehead, and saying that I was trying to kill him.”
The screaming man ”walked up extremely close to me,” just so the cop could get a strong whiff of his boozy breath.
“He continued to behave in a concerning manner as he requested for me to kill him, several times — and then proceeded to remove all his clothing to expose his bare body, from his neck to his knees,” the cop noted. “Due to his erratic behavior, multiple backup police units had to come to my aid” to coral the Mostly Naked Man and walk him just one block to Grady Detention Center, located across the street.
__STRONG CONDOMNATION:__ In the Kirkwood neighborhood, an outraged 41-year-old woman flagged down an officer patrolling the streets. She said around 4 a.m. she went to a vacant home on Kirkwood Avenue “where most of the homeless people in the neighborhood be at” and knocked on the front door repeatedly. Apparently, she hangs out there on a regular basis.
Finally, a man responded to her persistent knocks. Opening the door, he said the 41-year-old woman absolutely could NOT come inside, because during her last visit, she’d left several messy, used condoms in a bedroom. Then, the man pushed her out of the doorway and slammed the front door closed.
The woman was stunned and pissed. But what exactly did she want police to do about this ''condom clash''? Well, that’s unclear.
The cop simply filed a report outlining the woman’s beef. Nothing more.
__CONDOM CLASH, PART II:__ A naked 37-year-old man and 29-year-old woman were fornicating between the sheets at a Midtown apartment on 19th Street. Suddenly, the woman noticed the man wasn’t wearing a condom. So she punched him in the face. Stunned, the man called police. “He said they usually have unprotected sex, and that he did not know it would be an issue when he realized the condom was not on,” the reporting cop noted. The man didn’t want to press charges against the woman for punching him … but he DID want police to make her leave his apartment. Both parties confirmed the sex was totally consensual — and that they were completely shitfaced drunk. The woman even “showed me text messages from (the guy) suggesting they would have intercourse as soon as she arrived,” the cop noted. The woman also refused to press any charges … and very willingly left the guy’s apartment.
__DRUNK GIRL DOES FASHION CATWALK STRUT:__ A cop saw a black Chrysler 200 speeding and weaving on I-85 South. He activated his blue lights and siren and tried to stop the car at the Williams Street exit. “The vehicle continued south to Freedom Parkway, then to Boulevard, before finally stopping on Cain Street,“ the cop noted.
The driver, a 26-year-old Decatur woman, opened her door and stumbled out, stating she had to pee. She admitted she was “buzzed.”
“She was wearing high-heeled boots, which I recommended she remove for the subsequent field sobriety tests,” the cop noted. “(She) had to balance herself on me and I had to help her pull her shoes off.” The woman promptly failed the Walk-and-Turn test.
“After I gave her instructions for the One-Leg Stand, she began performing the Walk-and-Turn test again in a ‘runway model fashion’ and started dancing in front of my patrol car,” the cop noted.
Then, she flunked the Breathalyzer exam and attempted to “bite the card out of my hand to stop me from reading” the implied consent statement, the cop recalled.
The Decatur woman went to jail and demanded to pee twice more within 30 minutes. Nothing further.
__WISDOM DOESN’T ALWAYS COME WITH AGE:__ In Southwest Atlanta, a man said he returned home at 3 a.m. from a night of revelry celebrating his 40th birthday. He parked his black Cadillac Escalade outside his home on Veltre Circle and went to sleep. “When he returned to his vehicle at 8 a.m. the next morning, he noticed all his vehicle doors were wide open,” a cop noted. “Upon further inspection, he noticed he was missing three rifles, a handgun, and his wallet.” The man said he believed he forgot to lock his car doors after returning home from his birthday bash. __-CL-__
''The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.''"
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string(7912) " 1219 Blot Joker Final WEB 2019-12-03T22:19:43+00:00 1219-blot-joker-final-WEB.jpg man that sorry story about stilettos and sobriety hill larious!!!!!! blotter theblotter And other tales of life in the ATL 26533 2019-12-03T22:19:29+00:00 THE BLOTTER: The Joker on the run jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING 2019-12-03T22:19:29+00:00 JOKER SEQUEL, ATL-STYLE: A woman was returning home from the West End Kroger to her condo on Donnelly Avenue. As she walked down the driveway toward her building, a thin man dressed as the “Joker” from the Batman movie franchise jumped out of the bushes near her door.
The skinny Joker was “wearing white paint on his face, red lipstick, and a pink wig with long hair,” according to the police report.
Homegrown Joker never spoke a single word. He just grabbed the woman’s black Calvin Klein purse from her shoulder. The woman “attempted to hold onto the purse strap,” and that’s when she got a small cut on her finger.
The woman said the Joker “ran back into the bushes” with her purse. She believes he used a cut-through route to escape into some neighboring apartments.
Missing items from the woman’s purse included a Visa card “with a picture of Betty Boop on it,” the cop noted. Yes, a Betty Boop credit card, stolen by the Joker.
TOO MUCH EGG NOG AT THE HOLIDAY PARTY? A boyfriend-girlfriend couple in their 20s were hanging out in their Midtown apartment on 14th Street, when suddenly they heard weird noises outside. It was late and they weren’t expecting any visitors, so they got spooked and called police, worried about a potential robbery.
Three cops responded and started searching the couple’s apartment — finding nothing amiss inside. Then, police checked the outside balcony: Bingo! Sitting on the balcony, a 27-year-old man wearing only his underwear … with a half-empty bottle of vodka next to him.
Cops asked: What the heck are you doing in your underwear on this balcony?
Underwear Man responded, “I guess I had too much to drink and entered the wrong apartment. I’m sorry.”
However, the Midtown couple decided to be super-cool about finding a drunk stranger wearing underwear on their balcony: They decided not to press charges.
Atlanta police were not as forgiving. They charged Underwear Man with disorderly conduct under the influence — and took him to jail. Which seems a bit unfair. Hopefully, Underwear Man got a few more clothing items before cops tossed him in the holding cell.
WILY COUGAR ESCAPES: A brouhaha broke out at the Mac Cosmetics store in Ponce City Market. A 22-year-old man strolled in with a woman 10 years his senior (age 32). They both started yelling, “Ohhhh, we in the fucking Mac Store!” so loudly that other shoppers turned and stared.
Then, the 32-year-old woman took it up a notch. Suddenly, she “spit in the face” of the Mac store’s assistant manager — and took off running. However, her young Boy Toy stayed behind and didn’t run away. So when a police officer arrived, he charged the 22-year-old man with disorderly conduct. Oh, those wily cougar getaways, leaving behind their young pranksters ….
NAKED SMELLY MAN SCREAMING: An officer responded to a fight call near Grady Hospital on Jesse Hill Jr. Drive. “Upon arrival, I was abruptly met by an irate male running up to my patrol car and attempting to jump into the back seat,” the cop noted. “He was screaming erratically and bleeding from the left side of his forehead, and saying that I was trying to kill him.”
The screaming man ”walked up extremely close to me,” just so the cop could get a strong whiff of his boozy breath.
“He continued to behave in a concerning manner as he requested for me to kill him, several times — and then proceeded to remove all his clothing to expose his bare body, from his neck to his knees,” the cop noted. “Due to his erratic behavior, multiple backup police units had to come to my aid” to coral the Mostly Naked Man and walk him just one block to Grady Detention Center, located across the street.
STRONG CONDOMNATION: In the Kirkwood neighborhood, an outraged 41-year-old woman flagged down an officer patrolling the streets. She said around 4 a.m. she went to a vacant home on Kirkwood Avenue “where most of the homeless people in the neighborhood be at” and knocked on the front door repeatedly. Apparently, she hangs out there on a regular basis.
Finally, a man responded to her persistent knocks. Opening the door, he said the 41-year-old woman absolutely could NOT come inside, because during her last visit, she’d left several messy, used condoms in a bedroom. Then, the man pushed her out of the doorway and slammed the front door closed.
The woman was stunned and pissed. But what exactly did she want police to do about this condom clash? Well, that’s unclear.
The cop simply filed a report outlining the woman’s beef. Nothing more.
CONDOM CLASH, PART II: A naked 37-year-old man and 29-year-old woman were fornicating between the sheets at a Midtown apartment on 19th Street. Suddenly, the woman noticed the man wasn’t wearing a condom. So she punched him in the face. Stunned, the man called police. “He said they usually have unprotected sex, and that he did not know it would be an issue when he realized the condom was not on,” the reporting cop noted. The man didn’t want to press charges against the woman for punching him … but he DID want police to make her leave his apartment. Both parties confirmed the sex was totally consensual — and that they were completely shitfaced drunk. The woman even “showed me text messages from (the guy) suggesting they would have intercourse as soon as she arrived,” the cop noted. The woman also refused to press any charges … and very willingly left the guy’s apartment.
DRUNK GIRL DOES FASHION CATWALK STRUT: A cop saw a black Chrysler 200 speeding and weaving on I-85 South. He activated his blue lights and siren and tried to stop the car at the Williams Street exit. “The vehicle continued south to Freedom Parkway, then to Boulevard, before finally stopping on Cain Street,“ the cop noted.
The driver, a 26-year-old Decatur woman, opened her door and stumbled out, stating she had to pee. She admitted she was “buzzed.”
“She was wearing high-heeled boots, which I recommended she remove for the subsequent field sobriety tests,” the cop noted. “(She) had to balance herself on me and I had to help her pull her shoes off.” The woman promptly failed the Walk-and-Turn test.
“After I gave her instructions for the One-Leg Stand, she began performing the Walk-and-Turn test again in a ‘runway model fashion’ and started dancing in front of my patrol car,” the cop noted.
Then, she flunked the Breathalyzer exam and attempted to “bite the card out of my hand to stop me from reading” the implied consent statement, the cop recalled.
The Decatur woman went to jail and demanded to pee twice more within 30 minutes. Nothing further.
WISDOM DOESN’T ALWAYS COME WITH AGE: In Southwest Atlanta, a man said he returned home at 3 a.m. from a night of revelry celebrating his 40th birthday. He parked his black Cadillac Escalade outside his home on Veltre Circle and went to sleep. “When he returned to his vehicle at 8 a.m. the next morning, he noticed all his vehicle doors were wide open,” a cop noted. “Upon further inspection, he noticed he was missing three rifles, a handgun, and his wallet.” The man said he believed he forgot to lock his car doors after returning home from his birthday bash. -CL-
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. Tray Butler 0,0,1 theblotter blotter THE BLOTTER: The Joker on the run "
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THE BLOTTER: The Joker on the run Police Blotter
Tuesday December 3, 2019 05:19 pm EST
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(7924) "GHOST IN THE MACHINE: In the Capitol View neighborhood, two cops were responding to an unrelated call when suddenly “we heard two gunshots erupt in close proximity to our location.”
It was pitch-black outside and well after midnight. Both cops started canvassing the neighboring property in an attempt to discover where the gunfire originated. “The location is an industrial site with numerous tools, vehicles, and other obstacles littering the establishment,” a cop recalled. ”Further, it is extremely dark with limited lighting illuminating the area.”
Eventually, the cops spotted a middle-aged man just chilling out in the parking lot. He appeared very relaxed.
“As we approached, the man was sitting on an outdoor couch surrounded by three 750-milliliter bottles of ‘Exclusiv’ vodka. One bottle was empty, one bottle was half-empty, and one bottle was shattered on the ground with glass shards scattered throughout,” one cop recalled. “Additionally (the man) had a black .223 caliber AR-15-style rifle leaning against his leg.” (That’s a military-style automatic rifle.)
“It was apparent that he was under the influence of alcohol due to his slurred speech, red watery eyes, and a strong odor … coming from his breath,” the cop noted. “Furthermore, there were two shell casings laying in close proximity.”
The man, age 50, openly admitted to firing the gun. According to the police report, “he stated that the rifle does not have any markings indicating a manufacturer or serial number because it is a ‘ghost gun’ that he built by ordering parts online.”
The man told police: “I fired two rounds so there should be 18 rounds left in the magazine.”
Those two gunshots are gonna cost a pretty penny.
“(He) did endanger the lives of numerous individuals including myself,” one cop noted. “Moreover, it was discovered that he is a convicted felon” with two fresh outstanding warrants.
Police took the 50-year-old man to jail on charges of firing a gun near a public roadway, firing a gun while under the influence of alcohol, and reckless conduct.
TOUCH ME NOW, RIGHT HERE: At ATL Police Headquarters on Peachtree Street, a female police investigator looked out her office window and witnessed “two men outside headquarters engaging in a form of sexual situation.”
Immediately, she picked up the phone and called police (aka her colleagues) to report the sassy shenanigans.
Officers raced downstairs and outside police headquarters — and one member of the copulating couple fled. The female investigator identified the remaining suspect, a 40-year-old man who hails from Thomasville, Georgia.
The man “stated he was touching his friend’s penis in front of (police headquarters) because he was in a hurry to get to work, and this was the first place they found to engage in their activities.”
Alas, instead of going to work, the man went to jail, charged with public indecency. His small black-and-white bag and cell phone were turned in to police property.
BLOWN AWAY: Near Maddox Park around 6 a.m., a cop spotted a black Jeep Cherokee turning onto Pierce Avenue. “(The driver) pulled over in a darkened area of the roadway and turned the lights off,” the cop noted. “I watched the vehicle for approximately five minutes with no observed activity, which I found peculiar.”
The cop approached the Jeep and saw “two occupants spring up from the back seat as they hurried to dress themselves.” The male driver’s pants were down … and the female passenger was wearing only a “small halter top.”
The cop noted: “On the rear floorboard, where (the male driver) was sitting, there was a partially open black plastic bag, containing a box of condoms. “One of the packaged condoms was opened — as it was still on the male driver’s penis,” the cop observed.
The male driver admitted he’d been receiving oral sex from the halter-top woman. But he didn’t explain the condom wrapped around his penis. Both got tickets for public indecency.
POO-POO PLATTER: In Midtown on Piedmont Road, a 22-year-old woman called police and said a young guy just strolled onto her front porch in broad daylight and stole “20 Publix bags, which were used for cleaning her dog’s stools, and a pair of flip flops,” a cop noted.
She said the alleged thief wore a gray hoodie. Cops filed a police report and gave her a copy of the incident number.
JUST. STOP. TALKING: An officer saw a car “traveling at a high rate of speed the wrong way down Central Street.” (That’s a one-way street, mind you). “Upon making this observation, I conducted a traffic stop and spoke with the driver, a 33-year-old Florida man.”
At first, the driver said he was just following his GPS. The cop noted, “I detected a slur in his speech, along with his mouth being dry and him to be sweating despite his car having air-conditioning. When asked (the man) admitted that he had ingested his prescription medication Trazodone along with three shots of vodka a few hours before driving.”
The cop asked: Are those two supposed to be mixed?
“No,” the driver replied.
Next, he explained the used syringe sitting on the driver’s-side floor. “I used it to shoot meth about an hour ago,” the Florida man confessed. Finally, he then admitted that he’d been arrested on DUI charges just nine days ago. None of his rambling admissions helped his conversation with the cop.
The Florida man went to jail for his second DUI in under 10 days, plus charges of reckless driving and driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
BITE ME: One morning, a 31-year-old man drove his white van to work at a hotel on Forsyth Street in downtown Atlanta. A 25-year-old woman in blue camouflage was sitting in the parking lot. She was clutching a Mystic glass bottle broken in half. Suddenly, she started screaming: “Where’s my momma at? That’s her van!”
Then she demanded the man hand over a sausage before she attempted to stab him. “(The man) stated he jumped back and told her to get away … and he was unharmed because his belt had blocked the impact of the glass bottle.”
The screaming woman threw down the glass bottle and ran away. But not far enough.
When police arrived, the man was able to point out the woman because she was now sitting on a nearby sidewalk. Two cops grabbed her by the arms. The woman responded by allegedly using her teeth as a weapon and “biting down on an officer’s arm.”
According to the police report, the woman “took advantage of the surprise attack” and “went for another bite.” After the second chomp, the bitten cop’s partner took out his Taser gun and subdued the woman, who yelled, “You’re not helping me!”
Police put a spit hood on the woman and took her to Grady Hospital to be tested for any potential diseases that could potentially be transmitted by mouth.
DUMP THAT “DELIVERANCE” GIRL: Outside a convenience store on Sylvan Road, a 30-year-old man said he was shot in both legs while sitting in the driver’s seat of his Chevy Impala. The alleged shooter: a colorful relative of the man’s fiancée … who wears his hair in a red/burgundy Mohawk with dreads.
The reporting officer noted: “The victim’s fiancée arrived on scene and was told that the suspect was her ex-husband and possibly his brother.”
Wait, what? The alleged shooter was both her ex-husband and his brother? The police report did not clarify.
The fiancée stated the suspect has had an issue with her man ever since they started dating back in 2018.
Police escorted the wounded man to the hospital and collected shell casings from the roadway. His injuries were non-life-threatening.
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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string(7960) "G__HOST IN THE MACHINE:__ In the Capitol View neighborhood, two cops were responding to an unrelated call when suddenly “we heard two gunshots erupt in close proximity to our location.”
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Eventually, the cops spotted a middle-aged man just chilling out in the parking lot. He appeared very relaxed.
“As we approached, the man was sitting on an outdoor couch surrounded by three 750-milliliter bottles of ‘Exclusiv’ vodka. One bottle was empty, one bottle was half-empty, and one bottle was shattered on the ground with glass shards scattered throughout,” one cop recalled. “Additionally (the man) had a black .223 caliber AR-15-style rifle leaning against his leg.” (That’s a military-style automatic rifle.)
“It was apparent that he was under the influence of alcohol due to his slurred speech, red watery eyes, and a strong odor … coming from his breath,” the cop noted. “Furthermore, there were two shell casings laying in close proximity.”
The man, age 50, openly admitted to firing the gun. According to the police report, “he stated that the rifle does not have any markings indicating a manufacturer or serial number because it is a ‘ghost gun’ that he built by ordering parts online.”
The man told police: “I fired two rounds so there should be 18 rounds left in the magazine.”
Those two gunshots are gonna cost a pretty penny.
“(He) did endanger the lives of numerous individuals including myself,” one cop noted. “Moreover, it was discovered that he is a convicted felon” with two fresh outstanding warrants.
Police took the 50-year-old man to jail on charges of firing a gun near a public roadway, firing a gun while under the influence of alcohol, and reckless conduct.
__TOUCH ME NOW, RIGHT HERE:__ At ATL Police Headquarters on Peachtree Street, a female police investigator looked out her office window and witnessed “two men outside headquarters engaging in a form of sexual situation.”
Immediately, she picked up the phone and called police (aka her colleagues) to report the sassy shenanigans.
Officers raced downstairs and outside police headquarters — and one member of the copulating couple fled. The female investigator identified the remaining suspect, a 40-year-old man who hails from Thomasville, Georgia.
The man “stated he was touching his friend’s penis in front of (police headquarters) because he was in a hurry to get to work, and this was the first place they found to engage in their activities.”
Alas, instead of going to work, the man went to jail, charged with public indecency. His small black-and-white bag and cell phone were turned in to police property.
__BLOWN AWAY:__ Near Maddox Park around 6 a.m., a cop spotted a black Jeep Cherokee turning onto Pierce Avenue. “(The driver) pulled over in a darkened area of the roadway and turned the lights off,” the cop noted. “I watched the vehicle for approximately five minutes with no observed activity, which I found peculiar.”
The cop approached the Jeep and saw “two occupants spring up from the back seat as they hurried to dress themselves.” The male driver’s pants were down … and the female passenger was wearing only a “small halter top.”
The cop noted: “On the rear floorboard, where (the male driver) was sitting, there was a partially open black plastic bag, containing a box of condoms. “One of the packaged condoms was opened — as it was still on the male driver’s penis,” the cop observed.
The male driver admitted he’d been receiving oral sex from the halter-top woman. But he didn’t explain the condom wrapped around his penis. Both got tickets for public indecency.
__POO-POO PLATTER:__ In Midtown on Piedmont Road, a 22-year-old woman called police and said a young guy just strolled onto her front porch in broad daylight and stole “20 Publix bags, which were used for cleaning her dog’s stools, and a pair of flip flops,” a cop noted.
She said the alleged thief wore a gray hoodie. Cops filed a police report and gave her a copy of the incident number.
__JUST. STOP. TALKING: __An officer saw a car “traveling at a high rate of speed the wrong way down Central Street.” (That’s a one-way street, mind you). “Upon making this observation, I conducted a traffic stop and spoke with the driver, a 33-year-old Florida man.”
At first, the driver said he was just following his GPS. The cop noted, “I detected a slur in his speech, along with his mouth being dry and him to be sweating despite his car having air-conditioning. When asked (the man) admitted that he had ingested his prescription medication Trazodone along with three shots of vodka a few hours before driving.”
The cop asked: Are those two supposed to be mixed?
“No,” the driver replied.
Next, he explained the used syringe sitting on the driver’s-side floor. “I used it to shoot meth about an hour ago,” the Florida man confessed. Finally, he then admitted that he’d been arrested on DUI charges just nine days ago. None of his rambling admissions helped his conversation with the cop.
The Florida man went to jail for his second DUI in under 10 days, plus charges of reckless driving and driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
__BITE ME:__ One morning, a 31-year-old man drove his white van to work at a hotel on Forsyth Street in downtown Atlanta. A 25-year-old woman in blue camouflage was sitting in the parking lot. She was clutching a Mystic glass bottle broken in half. Suddenly, she started screaming: “Where’s my momma at? That’s her van!”
Then she demanded the man hand over a sausage before she attempted to stab him. “(The man) stated he jumped back and told her to get away … and he was unharmed because his belt had blocked the impact of the glass bottle.”
The screaming woman threw down the glass bottle and ran away. But not far enough.
When police arrived, the man was able to point out the woman because she was now sitting on a nearby sidewalk. Two cops grabbed her by the arms. The woman responded by allegedly using her teeth as a weapon and “biting down on an officer’s arm.”
According to the police report, the woman “took advantage of the surprise attack” and “went for another bite.” After the second chomp, the bitten cop’s partner took out his Taser gun and subdued the woman, who yelled, “You’re not helping me!”
Police put a spit hood on the woman and took her to Grady Hospital to be tested for any potential diseases that could potentially be transmitted by mouth.
__DUMP THAT “DELIVERANCE” GIRL:__ Outside a convenience store on Sylvan Road, a 30-year-old man said he was shot in both legs while sitting in the driver’s seat of his Chevy Impala. The alleged shooter: a colorful relative of the man’s fiancée … who wears his hair in a red/burgundy Mohawk with dreads.
The reporting officer noted: “The victim’s fiancée arrived on scene and was told that the suspect was her ex-husband and possibly his brother.”
Wait, what? The alleged shooter was both her ex-husband ''and'' his brother? The police report did not clarify.
The fiancée stated the suspect has had an issue with her man ever since they started dating back in 2018.
Police escorted the wounded man to the hospital and collected shell casings from the roadway. His injuries were non-life-threatening.
''The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.''"
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string(8374) " News06 Blotter Ghostgun Final Web 2019-11-04T19:07:02+00:00 news06-blotter-ghostgun-final_web.jpg blotter And other tales of life in the ATL 25642 2019-11-04T19:04:09+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Three bottles of vodka and an AR jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING Lauren Keating 2019-11-04T19:04:09+00:00 GHOST IN THE MACHINE: In the Capitol View neighborhood, two cops were responding to an unrelated call when suddenly “we heard two gunshots erupt in close proximity to our location.”
It was pitch-black outside and well after midnight. Both cops started canvassing the neighboring property in an attempt to discover where the gunfire originated. “The location is an industrial site with numerous tools, vehicles, and other obstacles littering the establishment,” a cop recalled. ”Further, it is extremely dark with limited lighting illuminating the area.”
Eventually, the cops spotted a middle-aged man just chilling out in the parking lot. He appeared very relaxed.
“As we approached, the man was sitting on an outdoor couch surrounded by three 750-milliliter bottles of ‘Exclusiv’ vodka. One bottle was empty, one bottle was half-empty, and one bottle was shattered on the ground with glass shards scattered throughout,” one cop recalled. “Additionally (the man) had a black .223 caliber AR-15-style rifle leaning against his leg.” (That’s a military-style automatic rifle.)
“It was apparent that he was under the influence of alcohol due to his slurred speech, red watery eyes, and a strong odor … coming from his breath,” the cop noted. “Furthermore, there were two shell casings laying in close proximity.”
The man, age 50, openly admitted to firing the gun. According to the police report, “he stated that the rifle does not have any markings indicating a manufacturer or serial number because it is a ‘ghost gun’ that he built by ordering parts online.”
The man told police: “I fired two rounds so there should be 18 rounds left in the magazine.”
Those two gunshots are gonna cost a pretty penny.
“(He) did endanger the lives of numerous individuals including myself,” one cop noted. “Moreover, it was discovered that he is a convicted felon” with two fresh outstanding warrants.
Police took the 50-year-old man to jail on charges of firing a gun near a public roadway, firing a gun while under the influence of alcohol, and reckless conduct.
TOUCH ME NOW, RIGHT HERE: At ATL Police Headquarters on Peachtree Street, a female police investigator looked out her office window and witnessed “two men outside headquarters engaging in a form of sexual situation.”
Immediately, she picked up the phone and called police (aka her colleagues) to report the sassy shenanigans.
Officers raced downstairs and outside police headquarters — and one member of the copulating couple fled. The female investigator identified the remaining suspect, a 40-year-old man who hails from Thomasville, Georgia.
The man “stated he was touching his friend’s penis in front of (police headquarters) because he was in a hurry to get to work, and this was the first place they found to engage in their activities.”
Alas, instead of going to work, the man went to jail, charged with public indecency. His small black-and-white bag and cell phone were turned in to police property.
BLOWN AWAY: Near Maddox Park around 6 a.m., a cop spotted a black Jeep Cherokee turning onto Pierce Avenue. “(The driver) pulled over in a darkened area of the roadway and turned the lights off,” the cop noted. “I watched the vehicle for approximately five minutes with no observed activity, which I found peculiar.”
The cop approached the Jeep and saw “two occupants spring up from the back seat as they hurried to dress themselves.” The male driver’s pants were down … and the female passenger was wearing only a “small halter top.”
The cop noted: “On the rear floorboard, where (the male driver) was sitting, there was a partially open black plastic bag, containing a box of condoms. “One of the packaged condoms was opened — as it was still on the male driver’s penis,” the cop observed.
The male driver admitted he’d been receiving oral sex from the halter-top woman. But he didn’t explain the condom wrapped around his penis. Both got tickets for public indecency.
POO-POO PLATTER: In Midtown on Piedmont Road, a 22-year-old woman called police and said a young guy just strolled onto her front porch in broad daylight and stole “20 Publix bags, which were used for cleaning her dog’s stools, and a pair of flip flops,” a cop noted.
She said the alleged thief wore a gray hoodie. Cops filed a police report and gave her a copy of the incident number.
JUST. STOP. TALKING: An officer saw a car “traveling at a high rate of speed the wrong way down Central Street.” (That’s a one-way street, mind you). “Upon making this observation, I conducted a traffic stop and spoke with the driver, a 33-year-old Florida man.”
At first, the driver said he was just following his GPS. The cop noted, “I detected a slur in his speech, along with his mouth being dry and him to be sweating despite his car having air-conditioning. When asked (the man) admitted that he had ingested his prescription medication Trazodone along with three shots of vodka a few hours before driving.”
The cop asked: Are those two supposed to be mixed?
“No,” the driver replied.
Next, he explained the used syringe sitting on the driver’s-side floor. “I used it to shoot meth about an hour ago,” the Florida man confessed. Finally, he then admitted that he’d been arrested on DUI charges just nine days ago. None of his rambling admissions helped his conversation with the cop.
The Florida man went to jail for his second DUI in under 10 days, plus charges of reckless driving and driving the wrong way down a one-way street.
BITE ME: One morning, a 31-year-old man drove his white van to work at a hotel on Forsyth Street in downtown Atlanta. A 25-year-old woman in blue camouflage was sitting in the parking lot. She was clutching a Mystic glass bottle broken in half. Suddenly, she started screaming: “Where’s my momma at? That’s her van!”
Then she demanded the man hand over a sausage before she attempted to stab him. “(The man) stated he jumped back and told her to get away … and he was unharmed because his belt had blocked the impact of the glass bottle.”
The screaming woman threw down the glass bottle and ran away. But not far enough.
When police arrived, the man was able to point out the woman because she was now sitting on a nearby sidewalk. Two cops grabbed her by the arms. The woman responded by allegedly using her teeth as a weapon and “biting down on an officer’s arm.”
According to the police report, the woman “took advantage of the surprise attack” and “went for another bite.” After the second chomp, the bitten cop’s partner took out his Taser gun and subdued the woman, who yelled, “You’re not helping me!”
Police put a spit hood on the woman and took her to Grady Hospital to be tested for any potential diseases that could potentially be transmitted by mouth.
DUMP THAT “DELIVERANCE” GIRL: Outside a convenience store on Sylvan Road, a 30-year-old man said he was shot in both legs while sitting in the driver’s seat of his Chevy Impala. The alleged shooter: a colorful relative of the man’s fiancée … who wears his hair in a red/burgundy Mohawk with dreads.
The reporting officer noted: “The victim’s fiancée arrived on scene and was told that the suspect was her ex-husband and possibly his brother.”
Wait, what? The alleged shooter was both her ex-husband and his brother? The police report did not clarify.
The fiancée stated the suspect has had an issue with her man ever since they started dating back in 2018.
Police escorted the wounded man to the hospital and collected shell casings from the roadway. His injuries were non-life-threatening.
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. ILLUSTRATION BY TRAY BUTLER 0,0,10 blotter THE BLOTTER: Three bottles of vodka and an AR "
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THE BLOTTER: Three bottles of vodka and an AR Police Blotter
Monday November 4, 2019 02:04 pm EST
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(6586) "PATRIOTIC PRICK: After midnight, two cops were patrolling I-85 South. Suddenly, a black Mercedes Benz racing sedan “sped past us,” one cop recalled, “(the driver) then slamming on the brakes, causing the tires to smoke as the car almost collided with the back of a tractor trailer.”
The driver stopped. Momentarily. As the two cops approached his car, he sped away, in full view of police “changing multiple lanes without signaling … and then slamming on the brakes, causing the tires to once again smoke, to avoid collision with other vehicles … and driving in the emergency lane exiting the interstate to North Avenue.”
Finally, cops stopped the Mercedes driver on Spring Street. The driver, a 43-year-old man from Buford, Georgia, had a burning question for police: “Why did you not use those blue lights to stop me when I sped past you?”
The cops arrested him and put him in the patrol car.
“Once in custody, he then began talking to an imaginary person named Tom in the back seat (of the patrol car),” a cop noted. “Then he began ranting at the fact that Donald Trump wouldn’t be happy about the arrest. He continued stating: ‘Do you know about the secret society of The Owl and The Black Crow?’”
Moments later, the driver started screaming, outraged by the lack of patriotic props available for his ride in the Atlanta police patrol car.
“You don’t have the American flag in my car?” the driver yelled. “I pay y’all’s salary and you don’t have the American flag in MY car?! … Point deducted … Here in Georgia, y’all hang that queer fuckin’ shit, but where’s the flag? Where’s my flag?”
The Mercedes driver went to jail, on multiple charges of reckless driving and driving on bald tires. His car — worth about $100K new — was towed.
INNER CONFLICTS? Cops got a call about a fight erupting inside a Midtown deli on 10th Street. However, when a police officer arrived, the fight seemed to be invisible. To everyone. Except one customer, a Texas man in his 40s, who’d called police to the scene. The officer asked: “Where’s the so-called fight you reported?”
The customer says he is being followed — by three guys from Texas — but they aren’t “doing anything” to him right now. “However, he believes they will become annoying at some point throughout the day,” the cop noted. “He believes he knows the three males” who’ve silently followed him for thousands of miles. The customer claims the strange trio started tailing him when he left his home outside Austin, Texas — and followed him all the way to Atlanta.
The officer looked around: No one was injured or hurt in the so-called deli “brawl.” Nothing further to report.
EVER HEARD OF “FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS,” LADY? A 36-year-old woman walked into the Grant Park police precinct to report a Sunday afternoon kerfuffle.
“She said, ‘While trying to enjoy my visit to the Grant Park Farmers’ Market today,’ she was verbally harassed by her neighbor (a 40-year-old man) who repeatedly yelled ‘JACKASS neighbor” as he and his family walked past her,” an officer noted.
The woman said she approached the neighbor and his wife “to tell them their behavior was not okay and to try to make peace with them. (The neighbor) continued to talk over her and did not offer any peace.”
Also, the neighbor’s entire family “continued to talk trash while walking away,” she said.
Apparently, this farmers’ market kerfuffle made a big impact. The 36-year-old woman says now she and her husband are “fearful for their safety because this is not the first time (the male neighbor) has lashed out at them like that,” the officer noted. “She says the problematic male neighbor got into a physical fight with someone cutting the lawn.”
WORST. PLUMBER. EVER: In Southwest Atlanta, a woman said her landlord scheduled a plumber to come work on her rental home.
“The incident occurred while (the plumber) was sitting on the toilet in the restroom and (the woman) was standing in the bathroom, putting a shelf together,” a cop noted. “She said (the plumber) was talking to her about bringing a new drain for the tub when he began lifting up his shirt, exposing his chest and nipples. He stated that his nipples were hard and that he wanted her to touch them. (The plumber) then grabbed (the woman) by her wrists and began to pull her toward him. She pulled away, but he then grabbed her around her waist and her butt and pulled her closer, while trying to kiss her groin area over her clothes.”
The fast-thinking woman grabbed a power drill sitting in the bathroom — using the drill to defend herself. She managed to escape “by poking the plumber’s chest with the drill, while backing up out of the restroom.”
The plumber followed her to the kitchen. “While doing this, the plumber stated that he loved it when women got aggressive with him, and (that) he wanted her to fuck his pussy.”
The woman kept firing the drill and forcing the plumber to back up. Then, she decided to try bluffing. She told the plumber that her furious mother was driving over to her rental home — due to arrive any moment now — and threatened to call police.
Apparently, her bluff worked. “Upon hearing this, (the plumber) turned around and began to crawl on the floor, through the hallway (and) into the kitchen, before exiting through the rear door.”
The woman immediately locked all her doors and called her mother for real. Mom rushed over in five minutes and came up with a plan of action. (Apparently, the mother got the plumber to admit to his actions — in front of witnesses).
The plumber had left one of his business cards in the kitchen. The mother decided to call the plumber on her cell phone (concealing her number so it would show up as unknown). “When (the plumber) answered the phone, she put it into speaker mode so (her daughter) and Aunt Tiffany could hear the conversation,” the reporting cop noted. “The mother asked the plumber about the event. He advised he was sorry if he had offended (the woman) but he had only shown her his chest because it was itchy, and his hands were dirty. He said he just wanted her to scratch it and that his nipples were hard.”
After the call, the woman filed a police report. She described the plumber as a bald man in his 50s who is “missing several bottom teeth.” -CL-
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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string(6610) "__PATRIOTIC PRICK:__ After midnight, two cops were patrolling I-85 South. Suddenly, a black Mercedes Benz racing sedan “sped past us,” one cop recalled, “(the driver) then slamming on the brakes, causing the tires to smoke as the car almost collided with the back of a tractor trailer.”
The driver stopped. Momentarily. As the two cops approached his car, he sped away, in full view of police “changing multiple lanes without signaling … and then slamming on the brakes, causing the tires to once again smoke, to avoid collision with other vehicles … and driving in the emergency lane exiting the interstate to North Avenue.”
Finally, cops stopped the Mercedes driver on Spring Street. The driver, a 43-year-old man from Buford, Georgia, had a burning question for police: “Why did you not use those blue lights to stop me when I sped past you?”
The cops arrested him and put him in the patrol car.
“Once in custody, he then began talking to an imaginary person named Tom in the back seat (of the patrol car),” a cop noted. “Then he began ranting at the fact that Donald Trump wouldn’t be happy about the arrest. He continued stating: ‘Do you know about the secret society of The Owl and The Black Crow?’”
Moments later, the driver started screaming, outraged by the lack of patriotic props available for his ride in the Atlanta police patrol car.
“You don’t have the American flag in my car?” the driver yelled. “I pay y’all’s salary and you don’t have the American flag in MY car?! … Point deducted … Here in Georgia, y’all hang that queer fuckin’ shit, but where’s the flag? Where’s my flag?”
The Mercedes driver went to jail, on multiple charges of reckless driving and driving on bald tires. His car — worth about $100K new — was towed.
__INNER CONFLICTS?__ Cops got a call about a fight erupting inside a Midtown deli on 10th Street. However, when a police officer arrived, the fight seemed to be invisible. To everyone. Except one customer, a Texas man in his 40s, who’d called police to the scene. The officer asked: “Where’s the so-called fight you reported?”
The customer says he is being followed — by three guys from Texas — but they aren’t “doing anything” to him right now. “However, he believes they will become annoying at some point throughout the day,” the cop noted. “He believes he knows the three males” who’ve silently followed him for thousands of miles. The customer claims the strange trio started tailing him when he left his home outside Austin, Texas — and followed him all the way to Atlanta.
The officer looked around: No one was injured or hurt in the so-called deli “brawl.” Nothing further to report.
__EVER HEARD OF “FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS,” LADY?__ A 36-year-old woman walked into the Grant Park police precinct to report a Sunday afternoon kerfuffle.
“She said, ‘While trying to enjoy my visit to the Grant Park Farmers’ Market today,’ she was verbally harassed by her neighbor (a 40-year-old man) who repeatedly yelled ‘JACKASS neighbor” as he and his family walked past her,” an officer noted.
The woman said she approached the neighbor and his wife “to tell them their behavior was not okay and to try to make peace with them. (The neighbor) continued to talk over her and did not offer any peace.”
Also, the neighbor’s entire family “continued to talk trash while walking away,” she said.
Apparently, this farmers’ market kerfuffle made a big impact. The 36-year-old woman says now she and her husband are “fearful for their safety because this is not the first time (the male neighbor) has lashed out at them like that,” the officer noted. “She says the problematic male neighbor got into a physical fight with someone cutting the lawn.”
__WORST. PLUMBER. EVER:__ In Southwest Atlanta, a woman said her landlord scheduled a plumber to come work on her rental home.
“The incident occurred while (the plumber) was sitting on the toilet in the restroom and (the woman) was standing in the bathroom, putting a shelf together,” a cop noted. “She said (the plumber) was talking to her about bringing a new drain for the tub when he began lifting up his shirt, exposing his chest and nipples. He stated that his nipples were hard and that he wanted her to touch them. (The plumber) then grabbed (the woman) by her wrists and began to pull her toward him. She pulled away, but he then grabbed her around her waist and her butt and pulled her closer, while trying to kiss her groin area over her clothes.”
The fast-thinking woman grabbed a power drill sitting in the bathroom — using the drill to defend herself. She managed to escape “by poking the plumber’s chest with the drill, while backing up out of the restroom.”
The plumber followed her to the kitchen. “While doing this, the plumber stated that he loved it when women got aggressive with him, and (that) he wanted her to fuck his pussy.”
The woman kept firing the drill and forcing the plumber to back up. Then, she decided to try bluffing. She told the plumber that her furious mother was driving over to her rental home — due to arrive any moment now — and threatened to call police.
Apparently, her bluff worked. “Upon hearing this, (the plumber) turned around and began to crawl on the floor, through the hallway (and) into the kitchen, before exiting through the rear door.”
The woman immediately locked all her doors and called her mother for real. Mom rushed over in five minutes and came up with a plan of action. (Apparently, the mother got the plumber to admit to his actions — in front of witnesses).
The plumber had left one of his business cards in the kitchen. The mother decided to call the plumber on her cell phone (concealing her number so it would show up as unknown). “When (the plumber) answered the phone, she put it into speaker mode so (her daughter) and Aunt Tiffany could hear the conversation,” the reporting cop noted. “The mother asked the plumber about the event. He advised he was sorry if he had offended (the woman) but he had only shown her his chest because it was itchy, and his hands were dirty. He said he just wanted her to scratch it and that his nipples were hard.”
After the call, the woman filed a police report. She described the plumber as a bald man in his 50s who is “missing several bottom teeth.” __-CL-__
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string(7025) " Blot1019 Owl Potus Final 01 2019-09-30T16:56:56+00:00 blot1019-owl-potus-final-01.jpg atlanta police blotter And other tales of life in the ATL 23980 2019-09-30T16:49:12+00:00 THE BLOTTER: Making America more great jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING 2019-09-30T16:49:12+00:00 PATRIOTIC PRICK: After midnight, two cops were patrolling I-85 South. Suddenly, a black Mercedes Benz racing sedan “sped past us,” one cop recalled, “(the driver) then slamming on the brakes, causing the tires to smoke as the car almost collided with the back of a tractor trailer.”
The driver stopped. Momentarily. As the two cops approached his car, he sped away, in full view of police “changing multiple lanes without signaling … and then slamming on the brakes, causing the tires to once again smoke, to avoid collision with other vehicles … and driving in the emergency lane exiting the interstate to North Avenue.”
Finally, cops stopped the Mercedes driver on Spring Street. The driver, a 43-year-old man from Buford, Georgia, had a burning question for police: “Why did you not use those blue lights to stop me when I sped past you?”
The cops arrested him and put him in the patrol car.
“Once in custody, he then began talking to an imaginary person named Tom in the back seat (of the patrol car),” a cop noted. “Then he began ranting at the fact that Donald Trump wouldn’t be happy about the arrest. He continued stating: ‘Do you know about the secret society of The Owl and The Black Crow?’”
Moments later, the driver started screaming, outraged by the lack of patriotic props available for his ride in the Atlanta police patrol car.
“You don’t have the American flag in my car?” the driver yelled. “I pay y’all’s salary and you don’t have the American flag in MY car?! … Point deducted … Here in Georgia, y’all hang that queer fuckin’ shit, but where’s the flag? Where’s my flag?”
The Mercedes driver went to jail, on multiple charges of reckless driving and driving on bald tires. His car — worth about $100K new — was towed.
INNER CONFLICTS? Cops got a call about a fight erupting inside a Midtown deli on 10th Street. However, when a police officer arrived, the fight seemed to be invisible. To everyone. Except one customer, a Texas man in his 40s, who’d called police to the scene. The officer asked: “Where’s the so-called fight you reported?”
The customer says he is being followed — by three guys from Texas — but they aren’t “doing anything” to him right now. “However, he believes they will become annoying at some point throughout the day,” the cop noted. “He believes he knows the three males” who’ve silently followed him for thousands of miles. The customer claims the strange trio started tailing him when he left his home outside Austin, Texas — and followed him all the way to Atlanta.
The officer looked around: No one was injured or hurt in the so-called deli “brawl.” Nothing further to report.
EVER HEARD OF “FIRST-WORLD PROBLEMS,” LADY? A 36-year-old woman walked into the Grant Park police precinct to report a Sunday afternoon kerfuffle.
“She said, ‘While trying to enjoy my visit to the Grant Park Farmers’ Market today,’ she was verbally harassed by her neighbor (a 40-year-old man) who repeatedly yelled ‘JACKASS neighbor” as he and his family walked past her,” an officer noted.
The woman said she approached the neighbor and his wife “to tell them their behavior was not okay and to try to make peace with them. (The neighbor) continued to talk over her and did not offer any peace.”
Also, the neighbor’s entire family “continued to talk trash while walking away,” she said.
Apparently, this farmers’ market kerfuffle made a big impact. The 36-year-old woman says now she and her husband are “fearful for their safety because this is not the first time (the male neighbor) has lashed out at them like that,” the officer noted. “She says the problematic male neighbor got into a physical fight with someone cutting the lawn.”
WORST. PLUMBER. EVER: In Southwest Atlanta, a woman said her landlord scheduled a plumber to come work on her rental home.
“The incident occurred while (the plumber) was sitting on the toilet in the restroom and (the woman) was standing in the bathroom, putting a shelf together,” a cop noted. “She said (the plumber) was talking to her about bringing a new drain for the tub when he began lifting up his shirt, exposing his chest and nipples. He stated that his nipples were hard and that he wanted her to touch them. (The plumber) then grabbed (the woman) by her wrists and began to pull her toward him. She pulled away, but he then grabbed her around her waist and her butt and pulled her closer, while trying to kiss her groin area over her clothes.”
The fast-thinking woman grabbed a power drill sitting in the bathroom — using the drill to defend herself. She managed to escape “by poking the plumber’s chest with the drill, while backing up out of the restroom.”
The plumber followed her to the kitchen. “While doing this, the plumber stated that he loved it when women got aggressive with him, and (that) he wanted her to fuck his pussy.”
The woman kept firing the drill and forcing the plumber to back up. Then, she decided to try bluffing. She told the plumber that her furious mother was driving over to her rental home — due to arrive any moment now — and threatened to call police.
Apparently, her bluff worked. “Upon hearing this, (the plumber) turned around and began to crawl on the floor, through the hallway (and) into the kitchen, before exiting through the rear door.”
The woman immediately locked all her doors and called her mother for real. Mom rushed over in five minutes and came up with a plan of action. (Apparently, the mother got the plumber to admit to his actions — in front of witnesses).
The plumber had left one of his business cards in the kitchen. The mother decided to call the plumber on her cell phone (concealing her number so it would show up as unknown). “When (the plumber) answered the phone, she put it into speaker mode so (her daughter) and Aunt Tiffany could hear the conversation,” the reporting cop noted. “The mother asked the plumber about the event. He advised he was sorry if he had offended (the woman) but he had only shown her his chest because it was itchy, and his hands were dirty. He said he just wanted her to scratch it and that his nipples were hard.”
After the call, the woman filed a police report. She described the plumber as a bald man in his 50s who is “missing several bottom teeth.” -CL-
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. ILLUSTRATION BY TRAY BUTLER 0,0,1 BLOTTER POLICE ATLANTA THE BLOTTER: Making America more great "
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THE BLOTTER: Making America more great Police Blotter
Monday September 30, 2019 12:49 pm EDT
And other tales of life in the ATL
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string(5745) "RATHER RIPPED: In East Atlanta Village at 7 a.m, a security alarm started ringing inside a Korean restaurant. A police officer responded to the alarm call.
“When I arrived I observed the front door … was damaged and open,” the officer noted. “I looked inside — and there appeared to be a person lying down on a table of the kitchen area of the restaurant.” The door lock had been ripped out and flung on the restaurant floor.
The cop decided to call for backup. “When we walked through the restaurant, we observed whole carrots in the area … where the man was lying on the kitchen table. One of the carrots appeared to have a bite taken out of it. Next to the carrots, sat an open can of Pellegrino water.”
Perplexed, cops did not wake the man sprawled on the kitchen table — yet.
One cop walked outside and asked a few familiar EAV homeless people: Does anyone know this mystery guy? Nope. But one had seen the mystery guy passed out in the Village on Flat Shoals Road earlier.
Finally, cops woke up the mystery man on the kitchen table. The 39-year-old man was surprised to learn he’d been eating carrots and napping inside a closed Korean restaurant. “I’m really drunk and don’t remember the last half of the evening,” he admitted. The only thing he knew for sure: His Wells Fargo debit card was missing.
His night of revelry didn’t go over well with the restaurant’s owner, who pressed charges for breaking and entering. Cops took the 39-year-old to jail. One upside: Apparently, the carrots were free. The man wasn’t charged for the stolen carrots he consumed.
BALONEY BLUES: In Westside Atlanta, two guys in their 50s were having lunch on Jefferson Street. They decided to trade sandwiches. Guy #1 trades his peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for Guy #2’s baloney sandwich. The trade goes smoothly — and the two men devour their respective sandwiches.
After the food is gone, Guy #1 reveals that Guy #2 could have kept his baloney sandwich and gotten a free PBJ. Guy #1 says, “Hey, if you’re still hungry, there are extra peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches on a table in the lunchroom. For free.”
Guy #2 gets angry, yelling, “Don’t tell me what to do, motherfucker!” Then he walks away.
Minutes later, Guy #2 returns — and punches Guy #1 in the right ear.
COP’S UNLUCKY DAY: An officer got a call about a lovers’ dispute erupting in a Reynoldstown home. When the cop arrived, both lovers were gone. In the front yard, a few people milled about. One said the boyfriend and girlfriend both took off running toward Berean Avenue. So the cop hopped into his patrol car and headed that way. Quickly, the cop spotted the running boyfriend, and yelled, “Stop, let’s talk and figure this out.” Boyfriend keeps running. “I was then able to pull ahead of the male in my city vehicle and exit the patrol car,” the cop noted. “I grabbed the male by his shirt … and the male yelled, ‘She’s just mad I caught her cheating.’”
The cop and boyfriend talk for a minute. Suddenly, the boyfriend yells, “Your car is rolling backward!” Sure enough, the cop’s patrol car is now rolling at a brisk speed down the street. The cop hops into the car, trying to hit the brakes … but it’s too late. The patrol car slams “into a pole at the intersection of Narrow Street and Berean Avenue.” The cop walks over to inspect the damage, and the boyfriend sprints away.
Eventually, the cop secures his patrol car and goes back to the couple’s Reynoldstown home to check on the feuding lovers. All OK. No one wants to press charges. The girlfriend says she only called police because she wanted her cell phone back — and the boyfriend took off running with her phone. But since he’s returned her cell phone, she’s not mad.
The cop’s patrol car sustained significant damage. Plus, the cop’s body got a bit banged up. “I did hurt my elbow and left leg when I attempted to stop the vehicle, but I did not need medical attention,” he noted.
GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND: At a pizza place on Glenwood Avenue, trouble broke out in the kitchen over dough. The shift leader told a female employee that she wasn’t folding the pizza dough correctly. Apparently, the female employee didn’t handle the dough criticism very well. The pizza restaurant’s manager stepped in and told the female employee to go home and cool off. Then, while the manager was taking out the trash, a male employee said he didn’t want to work there any more. So who does the pizza manager call to cover the quitter’s shift? The lousy-dough-folding female employee he just sent home. She returns to work. Then, the male employee who just quit his job … suddenly starts throwing produce and food all over the place. “I observed pepperoni, sausage, banana peppers, and olives on the floor,” an officer noted.
YOU BE ILLIN’: Around 3 a.m, a cop observed a guy walking near the Bobby Jones Golf Course on Northside Drive … and stopped him to make sure he was OK. The man, age 31, was carrying a travel bag of clothes. “The man told me that he wants to go to the hospital, because he is suffering from an illness that is causing his body to eat his muscles,” the officer noted. Also, the man insisted proteins are blocking his kidney, which makes it difficult for him to pee. “He goes on to tell me his kidney is hurting, his back hurts — and his feet are on fire.” So the officer calls Grady medics. The man keeps talking while they wait for medics to arrive … insisting that he’s also a wanted outlaw man with a mental illness and violent tendencies.
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words."
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__BALONEY BLUES:__ In Westside Atlanta, two guys in their 50s were having lunch on Jefferson Street. They decided to trade sandwiches. Guy #1 trades his peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for Guy #2’s baloney sandwich. The trade goes smoothly — and the two men devour their respective sandwiches.
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__COP’S UNLUCKY DAY:__ An officer got a call about a lovers’ dispute erupting in a Reynoldstown home. When the cop arrived, both lovers were gone. In the front yard, a few people milled about. One said the boyfriend and girlfriend both took off running toward Berean Avenue. So the cop hopped into his patrol car and headed that way. Quickly, the cop spotted the running boyfriend, and yelled, “Stop, let’s talk and figure this out.” Boyfriend keeps running. “I was then able to pull ahead of the male in my city vehicle and exit the patrol car,” the cop noted. “I grabbed the male by his shirt … and the male yelled, ‘She’s just mad I caught her cheating.’”
The cop and boyfriend talk for a minute. Suddenly, the boyfriend yells, “Your car is rolling backward!” Sure enough, the cop’s patrol car is now rolling at a brisk speed down the street. The cop hops into the car, trying to hit the brakes … but it’s too late. The patrol car slams “into a pole at the intersection of Narrow Street and Berean Avenue.” The cop walks over to inspect the damage, and the boyfriend sprints away.
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The cop’s patrol car sustained significant damage. Plus, the cop’s body got a bit banged up. “I did hurt my elbow and left leg when I attempted to stop the vehicle, but I did not need medical attention,” he noted.
__GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND:__ At a pizza place on Glenwood Avenue, trouble broke out in the kitchen over dough. The shift leader told a female employee that she wasn’t folding the pizza dough correctly. Apparently, the female employee didn’t handle the dough criticism very well. The pizza restaurant’s manager stepped in and told the female employee to go home and cool off. Then, while the manager was taking out the trash, a male employee said he didn’t want to work there any more. So who does the pizza manager call to cover the quitter’s shift? The lousy-dough-folding female employee he just sent home. She returns to work. Then, the male employee who just quit his job … suddenly starts throwing produce and food all over the place. “I observed pepperoni, sausage, banana peppers, and olives on the floor,” an officer noted.
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''The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words.''"
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string(6111) " Blot0919 Carrot Coma 2019-09-05T14:46:43+00:00 blot0919-carrot-coma.jpg Sleeping it off in a bed of carrots 22844 2019-09-05T14:43:20+00:00 THE BLOTTER: What’s up, Doc? jim.harris@creativeloafing.com Jim Harris LAUREN KEATING 2019-09-05T14:43:20+00:00 RATHER RIPPED: In East Atlanta Village at 7 a.m, a security alarm started ringing inside a Korean restaurant. A police officer responded to the alarm call.
“When I arrived I observed the front door … was damaged and open,” the officer noted. “I looked inside — and there appeared to be a person lying down on a table of the kitchen area of the restaurant.” The door lock had been ripped out and flung on the restaurant floor.
The cop decided to call for backup. “When we walked through the restaurant, we observed whole carrots in the area … where the man was lying on the kitchen table. One of the carrots appeared to have a bite taken out of it. Next to the carrots, sat an open can of Pellegrino water.”
Perplexed, cops did not wake the man sprawled on the kitchen table — yet.
One cop walked outside and asked a few familiar EAV homeless people: Does anyone know this mystery guy? Nope. But one had seen the mystery guy passed out in the Village on Flat Shoals Road earlier.
Finally, cops woke up the mystery man on the kitchen table. The 39-year-old man was surprised to learn he’d been eating carrots and napping inside a closed Korean restaurant. “I’m really drunk and don’t remember the last half of the evening,” he admitted. The only thing he knew for sure: His Wells Fargo debit card was missing.
His night of revelry didn’t go over well with the restaurant’s owner, who pressed charges for breaking and entering. Cops took the 39-year-old to jail. One upside: Apparently, the carrots were free. The man wasn’t charged for the stolen carrots he consumed.
BALONEY BLUES: In Westside Atlanta, two guys in their 50s were having lunch on Jefferson Street. They decided to trade sandwiches. Guy #1 trades his peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich for Guy #2’s baloney sandwich. The trade goes smoothly — and the two men devour their respective sandwiches.
After the food is gone, Guy #1 reveals that Guy #2 could have kept his baloney sandwich and gotten a free PBJ. Guy #1 says, “Hey, if you’re still hungry, there are extra peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwiches on a table in the lunchroom. For free.”
Guy #2 gets angry, yelling, “Don’t tell me what to do, motherfucker!” Then he walks away.
Minutes later, Guy #2 returns — and punches Guy #1 in the right ear.
COP’S UNLUCKY DAY: An officer got a call about a lovers’ dispute erupting in a Reynoldstown home. When the cop arrived, both lovers were gone. In the front yard, a few people milled about. One said the boyfriend and girlfriend both took off running toward Berean Avenue. So the cop hopped into his patrol car and headed that way. Quickly, the cop spotted the running boyfriend, and yelled, “Stop, let’s talk and figure this out.” Boyfriend keeps running. “I was then able to pull ahead of the male in my city vehicle and exit the patrol car,” the cop noted. “I grabbed the male by his shirt … and the male yelled, ‘She’s just mad I caught her cheating.’”
The cop and boyfriend talk for a minute. Suddenly, the boyfriend yells, “Your car is rolling backward!” Sure enough, the cop’s patrol car is now rolling at a brisk speed down the street. The cop hops into the car, trying to hit the brakes … but it’s too late. The patrol car slams “into a pole at the intersection of Narrow Street and Berean Avenue.” The cop walks over to inspect the damage, and the boyfriend sprints away.
Eventually, the cop secures his patrol car and goes back to the couple’s Reynoldstown home to check on the feuding lovers. All OK. No one wants to press charges. The girlfriend says she only called police because she wanted her cell phone back — and the boyfriend took off running with her phone. But since he’s returned her cell phone, she’s not mad.
The cop’s patrol car sustained significant damage. Plus, the cop’s body got a bit banged up. “I did hurt my elbow and left leg when I attempted to stop the vehicle, but I did not need medical attention,” he noted.
GOOD HELP IS HARD TO FIND: At a pizza place on Glenwood Avenue, trouble broke out in the kitchen over dough. The shift leader told a female employee that she wasn’t folding the pizza dough correctly. Apparently, the female employee didn’t handle the dough criticism very well. The pizza restaurant’s manager stepped in and told the female employee to go home and cool off. Then, while the manager was taking out the trash, a male employee said he didn’t want to work there any more. So who does the pizza manager call to cover the quitter’s shift? The lousy-dough-folding female employee he just sent home. She returns to work. Then, the male employee who just quit his job … suddenly starts throwing produce and food all over the place. “I observed pepperoni, sausage, banana peppers, and olives on the floor,” an officer noted.
YOU BE ILLIN’: Around 3 a.m, a cop observed a guy walking near the Bobby Jones Golf Course on Northside Drive … and stopped him to make sure he was OK. The man, age 31, was carrying a travel bag of clothes. “The man told me that he wants to go to the hospital, because he is suffering from an illness that is causing his body to eat his muscles,” the officer noted. Also, the man insisted proteins are blocking his kidney, which makes it difficult for him to pee. “He goes on to tell me his kidney is hurting, his back hurts — and his feet are on fire.” So the officer calls Grady medics. The man keeps talking while they wait for medics to arrive … insisting that he’s also a wanted outlaw man with a mental illness and violent tendencies.
The Blotter Diva compiles reports from the Atlanta Police Department and puts them into her own words. ILLUSTRATION BY TRAY BUTLER 0,0,3 THE BLOTTER: What’s up, Doc? "
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THE BLOTTER: What’s up, Doc? Police Blotter
Thursday September 5, 2019 10:43 am EDT
Sleeping it off in a bed of carrots
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Downtown DIY heads out Article
Thursday June 7, 2018 12:25 pm EDT
Mammal Gallery and Eyedrum face the end of an era
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string(506) " News Galleries1 1 08 2018-02-26T15:17:17+00:00 News_Galleries1-1_08.jpg "We're faced with a challenge posed by a city developing too quickly" 3036 2018-02-26T15:15:51+00:00 Can Downtown's art scene survive developers? chad.radford@creativeloafing.com Chad Radford Sean Keenan 2018-02-26T15:15:51+00:00 Sean Keenan FOR ART’S SAKE: Eyedrum leadership discusses the gallery’s fate at its second town hall meeting. Can Downtown's art scene survive developers? "
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"We're faced with a challenge posed by a city developing too quickly"
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string(5392) " {HTML()}Downtown arts and music venues Eyedrum, Murmur, and Mammal Gallery will be closed until further notice, after a deadly fire nearby called into question the safety of the buildings on and near Broad Street.
Newport US RE, a developer that owns dozens of South Downtown properties — including the galleries and the burned building — ordered the event spaces closed on Sunday, February 4, the day after a fire at 79 Broad Street SW claimed the life of one man and eviscerated the two-story structure.
Newport is now working with Atlanta public safety officials, who will inspect its buildings and bring them up to code. Atlanta Fire Department spokesman Sgt. Cortez Stafford says the safety review is a direct response to the tragic fire.
Chris Yonker, co-owner of Mammal Gallery, says city leaders jumped to address other potential safety hazards, pushing his new landlord to fast-track fixes that were long overdue. “[Public safety officials] came down on Newport about making sure all the properties they own are safe,” he says, noting their former landlord ducked requests to repair their building.
“As a way to make sure they don’t end up in any more trouble, [Newport] decided it was safer to have everyone postpone or relocate their programming while they wrangle together some fire marshals to inspect everybody’s buildings and get everything up to code as quickly as possible,” Yonker says.
Newport tells Creative Loafing it’s helping the galleries relocate their events while city workers assess the security of buildings “on and adjacent to Broad Street SW between Martin Luther King, Jr. Drive SW and Mitchell Street SW,” according to a statement sent by the company.
“Until the code and safety review is complete, we are making efforts to move all currently scheduled gatherings and events in these buildings to alternative locations at Newport’s expense,” the statement says.
Murmur, located at 100 Broad Street SW, on Monday moved its “Discrit” event to the M. Rich Building, on M.L.K., “due to circumstances beyond our control,” according to a Facebook post by the venue. Mammal Gallery’s open mic night – usually hosted at its Broad Street home – tonight will be hosted there, too. (The M. Rich Building is a Newport-owned space that also houses CL’s office.)
Eyedrum’s website says its next event, a concert, is scheduled for Friday. The concert has yet to be relocated, although one of the space’s curators, Neil Fried, says he runs another intown venue that might be able to accommodate some of the events that are now in jeopardy.
Some events, however, will be cancelled “due to the nature of the event being very specific to the individual spaces,” says a Newport spokesperson.
Mammal Gallery just cancelled its upcoming “Sweater Summer” party. “Last year, when we did the same event, it was our biggest event of 2017,” says Yonker. It’s unclear whether Newport plans to compensate businesses for such missed opportunities.
Newport would not estimate how long inspections and repairs will take, but Yonker, minding the state of Mammal Gallery’s digs, expects to be working elsewhere for at least a few weeks.
Public safety officials are still investigating the cause of the fire.
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South Downtown art galleries shutter after nearby fire leaves one dead Article
Tuesday February 6, 2018 07:35 pm EST
Eyedrum, Murmur, and Mammal Gallery must move events during safety review
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string(25567) "{HTML()}Orchestrating South Downtown’s colossal revamp will entail something of a balancing act for the developers that have scooped up scores of intown properties. Can they polish the place without sanding down its cultural identity? Will the neighborhood’s artists, venue owners, and weirdos head for the hills if its graffiti-laden side streets are peppered with artisan soap shops and high-brow watering holes? Only time will tell. But there’s no denying that big changes are afoot for the streets that hold some of Downtown Atlanta’s most celebrated DIY art and music haunts.
The American arm of German developer Newport Real Estate is currently reimagining dozens of South Downtown properties strung along Peachtree, Mitchell, and Broad streets, with plans to spruce up the area via road diets — sacrificing automobile lanes for bike paths and walkways — retail revamps, and retrofittings of historic buildings. The neighborhood could see considerable changes by springtime.
The infamous Gulch, a mammoth swath of parking spaces and train tracks surrounded by Mercedes-Benz Stadium on the west, Martin Luther King Jr. Drive on the south, and the CNN Center parking deck on the northeast, is staring down the barrel of an overhaul the likes of which the neighborhood has never seen. Amazon might even commandeer the plot for the future site of its second headquarters. Atlanta made the 20-strong short list of prospective cities to host the internet retail giant’s HQ2.
Amid an abundance of other blueprints sketched to give South Downtown a much-needed makeover, Underground Atlanta — which hasn’t wooed substantial business in years — awaits a primping that, much like the aforementioned redevelopment efforts, has Atlantans wondering how the local culture will change with the times.
There’s no denying that words such as development, gentrification, and urban living, in Atlanta, have become synonymous with cultural colonialism. The real estate blitz is, no doubt, a harbinger for an overhauled version of South Downtown. But stakeholders who thrive on the cutting edge of the city’s arts, music, and cultural institutions — the Masquerade, Eyedrum, Mammal Gallery, and Murmur — are notably optimistic that efforts to jump start the heart of the city mean opportunities for positive change. But it’s up to the city’s Downtown arts dwellers to harness its potential.
ASCENSION: Heaven, the Masquerade's largest concert room, is expanding into the space that was formerly the Underground Atlanta food court.Brandon English
The Masquerade is a longtime staple of Atlanta’s bustling and rambunctious music scene. It’s a household name for punk rockers, hip-hop heads, metal maniacs, and everything in between that, in its previous North Ave. location, hosted shows by such lauded and far-reaching acts as Nirvana, Kendrick Lamar, the Cranberries, and more, when they were relatively unknown artists at the beginning of their careers.
In December, after nearly a year of settling into its new home in Kenny’s Alley at Underground Atlanta, the Masquerade signed a 10-year lease to stay put. The lease came as a sigh of relief, and a sign of some permanence for the club that was ousted last year from its North Ave. home of nearly 30 years to make way for boutique shopping and fine dining on the Beltline.
After a brief shake-up with plans to relocate to northwest Atlanta — a nearby residential landlord sued to put the kibosh on plans to start anew across the street, citing concerns of expected noise complaints and other disturbances — the Masquerade’s new home in Kenny’s Alley serves as ground zero for the multiplex’s turnaround.
WRS Inc. Real Estate Investments, the development boss behind the recent buy of Underground, aims to wrap the Masquerade in a mix of new retail and residences, leaving some skeptics concerned about the club’s future. Will the hallowed concert hall succumb to the development trend of bulldozing history and culture? Ponce City Market, which towers near the Masquerade’s original location, offers a glimpse at the city’s tendency to inject abandoned properties with lucrative, luxurious places to hang — er, spend.
Nevertheless, the Masquerade’s leadership isn’t batting an eye at the changes to come. In fact, they’re embracing their new digs with open arms, reaping the benefits of existing in this too-long-neglected slice of Downtown Atlanta. And for that, management is grateful.
As with years prior, the Masquerade is booking more and more shows at its latest setting, says Greg Green, the venue’s booking manager. A survey of the venue’s February show calendar reveals performances by everyone from Pittsburgh, PA, punk act Anti-Flag to Chicago’s hyper-sexualized rapper Cupcakke.
The first order of business after signing a long lease is to build out of the three-part music house, which will turn Heaven — the largest among the Heaven, Purgatory, and Hell stages — into a bigger auditorium, primed for nearly 1,500 concertgoers. The venue is adding a balcony by expanding upward into what used to be the Underground Atlanta food court.
“The Downtown neighbors have expressed happiness with having us here,” Green says. “They like having music here, and we certainly hope we can be a catalyst for growth on the property and Downtown in general.”
The proximity to Georgia State University student ticket-buyers and MARTA doesn’t hurt, either.
When asked if the prospect of uncontrollable nearby growth could hamper the booking practices of the Masquerade (i.e. would the venue have to book quieter, tamer acts?), Green says, “No way.”
“I don’t know that [WRS] really knew what we were, other than a music venue that was coming temporarily at first,” he says. “But over time, they’ve come to appreciate what we have to offer, and vice versa.”
Green says the venue’s new location, unlike the former, is shielded from noise leakage that could ruffle the feathers of the WRS tenants slated to fill in the spaces adjacent the venue. In response to concerns that Underground could evolve into a posh counterpart to Ponce City Market, Green says, patrons can continue to expect the same old, same old.
WRS’s plans are still largely up in the air.
However, April Stammel, vice president of Newport U.S., which will oversee some parts of the neighborhood just south and west of Underground, says that her firm wants to maintain many of the neighborhood’s favorite spots, although what exactly stays and goes remains to be seen.
“We’re not going to be able to keep everybody that’s there, but we’re certainly going to make every effort to try,” Stammel says. “One of the things that attracted us to this neighborhood was its arts scene.”
“How do you manage natural evolution, but at the same time be respectful of existing businesses and people and not have displacement?” asks Jennifer Ball, Vice President of Planning and Economic Development at Central Atlanta Progress, which helped concoct Downtown’s walkable, more transit-friendly master plan. “I don’t think there’s a silver bullet. Generally speaking, Downtown is already much more affordable than many other places within the city, which is why some of the arts organizations found their way here.”
Says Green: “There’s an opportunity for the artistic community to thrive along with the business community, as well as the educational community.”
And each of these communities can still play a role in the area’s redevelopment. Representatives from the Newport have attended regular meetings of Neighborhood Planning Unit M. WRS has hosted a couple community meetings as required by City Council following the community protest of the abandonment of Alabama and Pryor streets.
Newport, in particular — now that’s it’s in the tail end of its acquisition phase — is seeking community input as the developer moves forward with its plans. And other artistic venues have been showing up for community discussions, in an effort to help shape their surroundings.
***
As the wave of change to South Downtown looms on the horizon, denizens of the Broad Street Arts district — Mammal Gallery and Murmur, along with Eyedrum Art & Music Gallery a block away on Forsyth Street — weigh in with their thoughts and feelings about their respective places in Downtown’s future landscape.
Interviews conducted by Alex Patton and Doug DeLoach. Some comments were edited for clarity.
MAMMAL GALLERY: "Anywhere you are trying to run a business, the neighborhood will change over time. You just have to figure out how you fit in and how you can evolve with the neighborhood. If you don’t want to evolve with that neighborhood, find another one that you do want to grow with." — Chris YonkerBrandon English
What have you brought to South Downtown?
Chris Yonker, who co-owns Mammal Gallery with Brian Egan: What Mammal has brought to the neighborhood is more people. People who hadn’t seen this neighborhood before — different kinds of people, depending on what we book. Some shows we might have people who are mostly in their 40s. Others nights are people mostly in their 20s. We host film screenings, dance recitals, art shows, concerts, we even have studios in here. We just started bringing a lot of different people down here who never had a reason to hang out for an extended period of time.
Brandon Sheats, Murmur, Executive Director: [Murmur] tends to be the first stop for a number of artists that are trying to be seen and heard. South Downtown is still new enough that we can present pretty much whatever we want. If you’re not an established visual artist yet, we’re a pretty good fit for that down here. Murmur is an art gallery masquerading as a film studio, masquerading as a performance stage, masquerading as a comedy house, and it’s all weird as shit, but somehow it fits together.
Grace Kim, Eyedrum Vice-Chair: Physically, piece by piece, over three years, the volunteers of Eyedrum have applied an investment of sweat equity, passion, and skills to transform a derelict, century-old, marginally utilized property into a functional community art space where two to five performances happen weekly. Where art exhibitions are constantly installed, exhibited, attended, and de-installed, and where community members meet for discussions, planning, learning, and creative exchange.
Chris Gravely, Eyedrum Build-out Committee Chair, Music Committee: Eyedrum’s gallery is an incredible jumping-off point for up-and-coming artists. Our rooftop has hosted unforgettable experiences including dance performances, film screenings, and concerts. Our location has also allowed us to serve the surrounding homeless community by providing water and a snack or letting someone earn a temporary living by doing labor during build-outs.
Tracy Woodard: Eyedrum Board member: For years, Atlanta had a vertical hierarchy for artists. You had to graduate from a top 10 art school, have an exhibit in New York, and then make your name at Arts Center in Midtown. In a sense, Eyedrum has democratized that process and given a voice to marginalized artists who otherwise could not afford the big-name galleries.
EYEDRUM BOARD MEMBERS: Neil Fried (from left). Kelly Szatyari, Tracy Woodard, Grace Kim, Ed Hall, Willow Goldstein, and Chris Gravely.Patrick Di RitoDo you feel a responsibility to the Downtown arts scene that you’ve helped create?
Yonker: Mammal co-founder Brian Egan and I have assumed some responsibility that we weren’t necessarily aware of when we opened Mammal. That responsibility is not to put our opinions out there, as much as it is our responsibility to provide the platform for other people who have things to say, and try to be open-minded about how many points of view there are.
Sheats: Between us and the owners of the others places around here, we know that we’re going to get older and want to do different things with our lives. So the idea is to create enough physical space, enough talent, and administrative and curatorial space for people to be able to pick up where we leave off, and go somewhere else with it. We’ve done a lot to move toward that. We’ve recently had arts dealers coming down to look at people’s work. Things like that contribute to the longevity of work like this, even if it turns out to be in a different place.
How has the opening of Mercedes-Benz Stadium affected the neighborhood?
Yonker: Mercedes-Benz Stadium hasn’t necessarily changed anything yet, but it will. As with any large development project or anything with that much money behind it, it’s going to bring a lot of change. So far, the only thing it has really brought is traffic. Any time there’s a football game, it’s craziness down here. There will be more projects developed around it that may change things for us. It’s just one puzzle piece to this whole Downtown push that all these developers are getting in on.
Kim: Aside from the obvious problems of traffic and the logistics of getting folks into Downtown, the stadium reinforces the Atlanta drive-to-and-through, commuter-consumer culture, which is a significant barrier. We need more restaurants and bars and entertainment businesses, which will bring exurbanites and suburbanites and ITPers to South Downtown where they can experience art and culture and other types of nightlife.
Do the Downtown development projects being discussed make you nervous?
Yonker: I’m not nervous because this is going to happen all the time. Anywhere you are trying to run a business, the neighborhood will change over time. You just have to figure out how you fit in and how you can evolve with the neighborhood. If you don’t want to evolve with that neighborhood, find another one that you do want to grow with. I might feel totally different about this neighborhood five years from now, and maybe I won’t want to be here. I don’t think that’s necessarily a bad thing.
Kim: I am nervous because the future is truly unknown. Articles like this one do not help assuage the anxiety that the creative community feels, nor does it empower people to see beyond the bankrupt trope of the all-powerful developer versus the victim-arts/community organizations. At the same time, I am excited because we have an opportunity to nurture a downtown that truly reflects the vibrancy and utility required by Atlanta’s diverse community.
MURMUR: "We’re the wildcard. We do things that others sometimes don’t. ... We deal with misfits a lot. We keep local, national, and sometimes international acts here that might not be accepted anywhere else. " — Brandon SheatsBrandon EnglishSheats: We could hit a recession, although we’re kind of recession-proof, as none of us are in it for the money. All of us are volunteer organizations down here. Newport could’ve said, “We want to make you into a coffee shop or a grocery store,” or something like that, but they know that Murmur is important to the community here.
Being down here has made us kind of underground and ground-level at the same time. We have a number of people who want us to stay underground, but at the same time we have people who are established looking at us, wanting to know how they can get into our space. We’re willing to challenge ourselves and our community, and reflect on that as positive change.
Woodard: As much as I applaud development in my beloved city, I’m afraid Atlanta will go the way of San Francisco and price out of everything that made it unique.
Neil Fried, Eyedrum Treasurer and Film & Tech Committee chair: If the property value goes up too quickly it will be hard for a DIY arts organization to compete. It’s likely we will have to change or move. By change I am talking about becoming a professional arts organization with a board of directors, which pays the bills and attends the black-tie events. That is not what Eyedrum is at its core. Eyedrum is made up mostly of artists who curate and facilitate shows. When artists and musicians are touring, they seek us out because they have heard about our DIY multimedia core.
How have your dealings with WRS or Newport gone so far?
Yonker: They are doing their best to understand the culture of this neighborhood. A lot of times you see development companies have an idea of what they want to do with an area, and they’ll just cut and paste over what’s already there. Newport has taken a light-handed approach to seeing what is already down here, and what’s good for the neighborhood, and then adding to that ecosystem rather than tearing everything out and starting from scratch. They’ve been good about talking to us before making any moves, which is refreshing. Like if they want to paint murals down here, they talk to us about doing it to keep the money in the neighborhood rather than flying down some random-ass artist that none of us know.
For an arts organization, a development company coming in is almost supposed to be a game of cat and dog, like we’re supposed to hate each other. Technically, they’re just coming in and fixing a lot of the broken stuff on these buildings and letting us stay in them. I don’t see anything wrong with that.
Sheats: Their ownership out of Germany came down to meet with all of us, and they get that you can’t have civic life without art and culture. When people say “live, work, play” they mean all kinds of bullshit. Newport gets that it can only happen in an organic, slow, sometimes painful way. There’s an idea that places like South Downtown can attract attention as a place for people to hang out, and that middle-class people want to live within walking distance. Look at a neighborhood like Little Five Points: There’s plenty of nice homes in that area surrounding the arts and retail district. That area has been nicely developed without hurting the personality of the neighborhood, which development companies understand is important for the property value of the homes nearby. If it weren’t for those scrappy-ass theatres down there, those places wouldn’t be worth as much.
Kim: The Board and Officers of Eyedrum have met with Newport regularly, about once every three or four months, since the fall of 2016 when Eyedrum was made aware of the interest in purchasing the property in February 2017. I personally attended two of the three public meetings hosted by WRS. With Underground being a close neighbor, I am very concerned about WRS’ decisions. I have attended Atlanta Downtown Neighborhood Association meetings and Central Atlanta Progress’ Downtown Master Plan community meetings. Newport has been minimal in its PR efforts, but consistent in terms of delivering content regarding vision and timeline. My questions are: How will the local government, particularly the City of Atlanta, engage with the community and Newport in the development process? How will the philanthropic community and business investment community engage with the community and Newport in the development process?
Fried: Assuming they follow through with tangible support for Eyedrum and other arts organizations and partners in the community, Newport seems to have a good vision. They said their investors have “patient money,” which implies a long-term investment in things like lifestyle amenities on the street. Eyedrum is determined to make sure those commitments are fulfilled.
Kim: It’s important to note that inequitable conditions in Atlanta existed before WRS and Newport stepped into the downtown scene. Just because Newport bought certain properties does not mean they created these dynamics. However, these conditions and dynamics are becoming visible because the eyes and ears of our communities are now on the arts organizations downtown. Personally, I am not looking for Newport to save our souls, no matter how much their slow money might support organic development of South Downtown. The community of Atlanta should own Atlanta; these developers are not, and could never be, the voice of the community. The challenge lies in figuring out to what extent we can work side by side. How much is the community willing to contribute — in terms of financial investment, attendance, volunteering, learning, and participation — to own the future of Downtown?
How do establishments like Mammal, Murmur, and Eyedrum fit into the future of Downtown?
Yonker: Ideally, I’d like to stay in this neighborhood. I like the area and the people who hang out down here. It blew my mind how much of a sense of community there is. A lot of people care about this neighborhood, and want to do good things for it. I’ve been asked if I see Murmur or Eyedrum as competition, and I really don’t. We’re all just curious about what each other are doing. I hope that even more stuff pops up in the future to a point where people can get lost in this area.
We aren’t gaining actual financial stability by running art galleries. I don’t make shits-worth of money running this place, but I have made social capital for myself. If I want to start another project somewhere else or do another thing, I have the ability to do it now that I can say I started Mammal Gallery. That’s the best thing you get from running an arts organization and no one can take that from you. You can use it in another place if you have to, but the longer an arts organization is around, the more beautiful layers it can add to its story over time.
Sheats: We’re the wildcard. We do things that others sometimes don’t. Mammal came down here before any of us, and their focus is so solidly on music. We deal with misfits a lot. We keep local, national, and sometimes international acts here that might not be accepted anywhere else.
Murmur isn’t trying to go anywhere. There is no other place in the city where you can get as much accessibility as South Downtown. We all have a desire to get this right, without an idea of what right will even look like. I don’t know what’s after this that isn’t gentrifying in a very harsh way. There’s this idea that there’s an impermanence to what we do, and there’s a necessity to continue that sense of impermanence so that everyone has a place to explore and figure their shit out.
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Can Atlanta’s arts communities survive and thrive in an area primed for drastic change?
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U.S. Sen. David Perdue, R-Georgia, claiming President Donald Trump didn't call impoverished black nations "shithole countries," is lying through his teeth. At least according to two anti-Trump groups and a report by The Washington Post. Local activist groups Resist Trump Tuesdays and the Georgia Alliance for Social Justice rallied today at Perdue's Buckhead office to call foul on his denial of the "inflammatory" remarks the president reportedly made last week during a meeting about immigration reform. "We want to make it clear that the citizens of Georgia regard David Perdue as a failed politcian for his state," said RTT organizer Caroline Stover in a statement sent to Creative Loafing.
According to The Post, Perdue excused his early denial of Trump's comments, saying he thought the president said "shithouse," rather than "shithole."
"His denial of Trump's inflammatory statements last week are an embarrassment to the people he was elected to represent," Stover continued, adding that the groups "no longer" think Perdue is cut out for the gig — as if they did previously (both groups have had Perdue on their shit list for quite a while).
It's worth noting that another prominent Georgia Republican, U.S. Sen. Johnny Isakson, had the gal to say Trump should apologize to "the people of Haiti and all of mankind," according to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution — if the president actually said it, that is. Isakson can't say for sure, since he was not in the meeting.
Perdue's offices did not immediately respond to a request for a comment.
This story was updated at 3:56 p.m. to clarify that Isakson was not in the meeting at which Trump reportedly made the controversial comment.
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Anti-Trump groups rallied at Sen. Perdue's Buckhead office to call foul on his denial of 'shithole' remark
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