THE MOVE: Plan Accordingly - December 2019

The Move is a column intended to help you beat the fight against basic, one move at a time. Look here for all the best underground, and some above ground, events in ATL. Bc you CAN have a balanced diet of disco and yoga. Warning of side effects: Overdose of culture and queerdom,  bloated bank account from lack of overpriced ticket purchase, confusion meeting clarity via mind, body and soul. Consume at your own risk.

This month, on The Move … Dear Santa, please legalize marijuana. Until then, let’s jingle-all-the-way into wreath making in Grant Park, mingle with Christmaspolitans, and gift suggestions for my THOTs on The Move - THRIFT. Regifting is recycling, so don’t be afraid to re-share that candle that keeps on giving. As Marie Kondo would say, if that shit don’t bring you joy regift it. Maybe that’s not exactly the sentiment but you get the point. News flash! NYE is canceled!

Good Tidings: Hartsfield offish signed off on having a CBD vending machine in the atrium during the holiday travel season. Customers will input info, such as flight duration, age, and ailments, and the vending machine will suggest the recommended CBD dose. 

Shameless copy/paste plug OTMonth: Psst … Xtra! Xtra! Weed all about it! Shameless plug for the latest episode of, “Friends in High Places.” Listen along as I interview the likes of those mapping out the cannabis industry for Georgians, bc it’s not coming, it’s here. For more updates:  @callmeMsConception @CreativeLoafingAtlanta

Throughout December

The Miracle Holiday Themed Pop-Up Bars open early this year, starting with Thanksgiving, and continuing through Christmas. Included are Miracle on Monroe at Tapa Tapa in Midtown Promenade, a tiki-themed Sippin’ Santa at Bon Ton on Ponce, and Miracle on Highland taking over Parish.

If you’re looking for a place that looks like Santa vomited holiday cheer, Miracle Pop-Up Bars are wildly popular. No reservations accepted, but worth the wait IMO. Each year Miracle uses 160 pounds of hot cocoa, 200 quarts of heavy cream, 200 pounds of pecans, 800 pounds of sugar, 6,000 eggs, 20 pounds of Chai tea, and 4000 cinnamon sticks.

Miracle on Highland served 18,000 Christmas cocktails last year, or 1,500 Christmapolitans per week. For the final amount of holiday cheese, “All I Want for Christmas Is You” plays hourly. Praise the Lord. 

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 5 — SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8

Curious Holiday Encounters — “A curated, popular festival of interactive/immersive performance; truth from all corners of our vibrant city. Celebrate the holidays through non-traditional art and celebration with seven new works created by some Atlanta artists, including Theatre Du Reve, Full Radius Dance, and Little Five Points Rock Star Orchestra.”

TBH, I’m a noob to this, but it jumped out, and I’m a big fan of everything I’ve witnessed at 7Stages. 

$15-$25.Thurs., Dec. 5, 7-10 p.m.; Fri., Dec. 6, 7-10 p.m.; Sat., Dec. 7, 7-10 p.m.; and Sun., Dec. 8, 5-8 p.m. 7 Stages, 1105 Euclid Ave. N.E. 404-523-7647. 7Stages.org

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 6

The Sundogs Present: The Tom Petty Show — A Tom Petty cover band going strong since 2011, for those unfamiliar with The Sundogs, they are a collective made up of brothers Will and Lee Harraway, blues guitarist and songwriter Jon Harris, renowned guitar slinger Benji Shanks, drummer Kevin Leahy, and keyboardist Kevin Thomas. For one special night a year, The Sundogs perform a Tom Petty tribute, all night. This year, a special guest is Lilly Winwood, daughter of Steve. Dance, drink, and be merry. RIP, TP. 

$18-$35. 8 p.m. Center Stage Theater, 1374 West Peachtree St. 404-885-1365. www.centerstage-atlanta.com

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7

Wreck the Halls: The 2019 L5P Krampus Krawl — Krampus and his black goats take over Little Five Points. “Each year the ominous sound of jingling bells and chains fills the air. Cloven-hoofed, horned creatures of the night descend upon the streets of L5P.”

This L5P tradition was inspired by 2015’s Krampus, the campy, devilish holiday film and cult classic based on Austro-Bavarian folklore, chronicling the hunt for the half goat-half demon creature, Krampus, who is out to punish naughty children. In true creative L5P fashion, the Krawl features disturbing images and live animals.

Krampi will gather at the Star Bar at 8 p.m. and roam to The Brewhouse Cafe, Little 5 Points Corner Tavern, ending at Java Lords with a brief swing by El Myr. If you’re not into goats, you might wanna stay out of Little 5 that evening.

Free. 8 p.m. The Star Bar, 437 Moreland Ave. N.E. 404-500-4942 Wreck The Halls: The Little Five Points Krampus Krawl

Wreath-Making — Don’t forget to balance party hopping with crafts this season. Garden*Hood nursery is making spirits bright with this is drop-in class. Materials will be set up, just pick your size, materials, and deck the halls. I prefer the more-is-more approach when it comes to holiday glitz. *adds xtra mistletoe to everything* 

Pro-tip: I recommend signing up for Homestead Atlanta. They send makers classes all over the city, plus you get a discount on workshops. Y’all. We can learn how to make our own bread and butter. In 2.5 hours. Or get melty in a welding class, hand stitch a leather wallet, and carve our own spoons. A full course load from The Homestead Atl calendar would likely help you survive the apocalypse a wee bit longer. 

$25 (10%) off for Homestead Atlanta Members. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Two classes, Saturday, Dec. 7 and Saturday, Dec. 14. See the “Explore Workshops” calendar @Thehomesteadatl.com

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 8

Christmas at Dollywood — Unfortunately, the Miss Universe pageant forgot to call me, again, to compete, but that goes down at the new Tyler Perry Studios in Fort McPherson, just south of the city. 

The Move typically encourages readers to get out in the world, but when Dolly Parton has a new Hallmark Channel holiday movie special, cancel all plans or DVR it. I will be snuggled in a onesie with dog and hot toddy, and let Dolly take me to Dollywood.  A classic, cringe-worthy Hallmark plot, set during Christmas at Dollywood, follows Rachel, an event planner and single mom who goes home to her Appalachian hometown tasked with planning the 30th Dollywood annual Smoky Mountain Christmas extravaganza. Of course there’s drama when Rachel and the protagonist don’t have the same vision. This is sure to be an Oscar-worthy film. Dolly Parton plays Dolly Parton.

8 p.m. Hallmark Channel (as in television)

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 14

Hemp Holiday Market Meet and Greet — Aviva, of Aviva and the Flying Penguins, obviously, was kind enough to be a guest on my podcast. She’s a weed activist and a songwriter who does tons of community work to help move us forward into unchartered hemp territory. Aviva educates on cars running on cannabis and building houses out of hemp materials. Nearly every month, you can catch a workshop or meet-up with Aviva. 

Aviva’s throwing a casual meet-and-greet at Golden Drops Cafe in Decatur. “We will be discussing farming hemp in Georgia and legislation advocacy, and group brainstorming on creating an amazing, cohesive, eco-friendly hemp industry in Georgia.” If you have even the slightest curiosity about weed, I recommend going to any of Aviva’s laid-back, inclusive gatherings. 

No charge to attend. 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Golden Drops Café, 1788 Clairmont Road. 404-968-9981. www.goldendropscafe.com

The Holiday Puckin’ Fuppet Show — Puppets. Love ’em/hate ’em, these underground puppet shows are getting popular — think puppet shorts for adults, often in a small clubs and art spaces. There’s a union of vaudeville, burlesque, and performance art, with some experimentation. This particular group, “The Puckin’ Fuppet Show,” presents a late-night puppet slam to DragonCon goers, with record-breaking audience numbers. 

How do you feel about audience participation? At any moment, guests are vulnerable to having candy thrown in their face (wrapped, we hope), being challenged to funnel eggnog, or worse/better, competing in a candy cane deep-throat contest. On the fence about that last one. I supposed if it’s consensual and gender-neutral it could be entertaining. Pretty fresh for $10. 

$10. 11 p.m.-1 a.m. 18+. Village Theatre, 349 Decatur St. S.E. 404-688-8858. www.villagecomedy.com Tickets

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 15

Queer Yoga, Deep Stretch — In the midst of carb season, it’s important to remember how to move, bend, and stretch, not just for extra rolls, but for our wellness. This all-levels deep stretch is as inclusive as it gets, typically with no Lululemon insight. 

Instructor Patrick Joseph Boston, or “Trish,” weaves gracefully and honestly through a 90-minute class. It is not stressful. It is not strenuous. It’s perfect for a Sunday stretch. Post-class, jingle all the way next door for FREE specialty coffee, provided by Counter Culture Coffee, and conversation. Trish is also a coffee connoisseur. A true Jill of all trades. 

Suggested contribution $15. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Ballroom Dance Clubs of Atlanta @ King Plow Arts Center, 887 West Marietta St. N.W. J-105. 04-885-9933. www.kingplow.com

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 19

House of ALXNDR presents The Big Queer Game Show! — Joy to drag! And game shows. Get an extra dose of queer in your diet at The Big Queer Game Show! at the Bakery. Performers and attendees can play Password, the Newlywed Game, and Jeopardy for prizes.

Hosted by + featuring performances from the House of ALXNDR:  Avana ALXNDR, Folly Nation, Molly Rimswell, Rrruby Fiasco, and House Mother TAYLOR ALXNDR. Likely a lot of stellar Instagram footage. Plenty of vehicle parking at the Bakery, preferably no reindeer parking. 

$5-$20 sliding scale + suggested. 10 p.m. The Bakery Atlanta, 825 Warner St. S.W. www.thebakeryatlanta.com

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31

New Years Eve 2019 — New Year’s Eve is canceled — for me, at least. I resigned from the well-known amateur night a few years back, and wish I’d made the decision sooner. It is the evening to overpay for hotels, transportation, booze, entertainment, and dignity. With so much going on year-round in ATL (#blessed), I can sit NYE out. I will take my seat on the couch, happily sipping cheap red, blazing with Blitzen since he’s off till next Xmas, and stream Phish live from Madison Square Garden. Adios, 2019! It’s been a great ride.