Mayor of Ponce rambles on ’bout booze, broads and B.S.
You down wit M.O.P?
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Soundtrack of My Shame
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Like a drunk, horny, ill-respected Andy Rooney. It’s just the essentials — stuff I think about, just not thoroughly….
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I love it when you're writing something and then you spell check it, and spell check has no fucking clue what the word you totally mangled was supposed to be. It's like, "'Orange?' Uhh, 'Hippopotamus?' I don't know dude, 'Star Wars?' Just rework the sentence bro, ’cause I have no clue.”
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So I watched Marley & Me. In its entirety. Fuck. I didn’t know who I wanted to die more. Marley, Owen Wilson, or Me. That Labrador took longer to die than Brad Pitt in The Curious Case of Snooze Buttons. Or that jackass Emory kid from Into the Wild. Michael Vick needed to make a cameo in that piece of shit.
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"The Twitterer" should be a new Batman villain. He just keeps tweeting Bruce Wayne every annoyingly dull aspect of his life: “Ughhh. No parking spaces and it's RAINING!” “Was about to eat cereal and theres NO MILK! aghhhh.”
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An actual AJC vent from a hero calling out for people to care in this world. It reads as follows: "Why can't my burger and fries look like the one in the picture. They slap the burger together and it looks sloppy, and the fries are mostly in the bag! Care. Please care. I help pay your rent!"
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You, sir or ma’am, are an unsung hero for all retards out there. Your ability to use a computer or phone to get in contact with the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and vent your call for care about this serious epidemic is truly awe inspiring. Keep fighting.
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My girl Nikky Williams is one of the most amazing people I’ve ever met. A tasty nugget of curious wisdom from this city's No. 1 duggy: “How does Lady Gaga know when she’s done getting dressed?”
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I don’t know, sweetheart. I don’t know.