The Blotter: Long and curlies

At a drugstore on Cheshire Bridge Road, a man walked in and reportedly tried to steal two pairs of false eyelashes. A security guard busted him and called police. The suspect is a 32-year-old man from Oregon. He went to jail for shoplifting. The two pairs of fake eyelashes are worth about $10.58. Cops turned in the fake eyelashes as evidence.

Get the message?

At a bar on Cheshire Bridge Road, the manager called police to report vandalism. Apparently, after the bar closed someone spray-painted the letters "OBVS YEDO" on an outdoor wall. No clues were left to the meaning behind the cryptic message. Anyone? The game Yedo? Tokyo?

Ice, ice baby

As morning rush-hour traffic whizzed by on Cheshire Bridge Road, two suspicious men were hanging out outside a closed store. Each was suspicious in very unique ways. The older man was described as "heavyset in his 50s, casually dressed with a ball cap and a satchel," the reporting cop wrote. The younger man had a "very slender build, wearing tight white pants and a tight white tank top ... As I drove past them, they got spooked upon seeing my patrol car." The older, larger man "quickly turned around ... as if he were doing something illegal," the cop wrote. The younger man made a frantic call on his cell phone. When the cop drove by again, a third man clutching a beanie had joined the oddball pair. "That's when I observed a quick hand-to-hand transaction" between the older man and the new man. "As soon as they seen me, all three split up in a quick manner," the cop wrote as he followed the man with the beanie.

Eventually, the cop caught the beanie man, who had a bizarre explanation involving condiments. "He came up with an elaborate story about how he was coming from the Cheshire Motor Inn, where he wanted to ask about a mayonnaise commercial," the cop noted, adding the motel "is very run down." The cop asked the beanie man: Who were the two other guys? "He responded with 'What other guys?'" the cop wrote. "He then said, 'Oh, the heavyset white guy! Yeah, he's a scammer, he's been stealing people's money in trade for bail bonds service, which is a fraud. I haven't seen him in forever — he's lucky I didn't hit him.'"

The cop asked to search the man's beanie. "When I looked inside, I found a small glassine baggie containing meth. He quickly said that the older white gentleman gave him the beanie," the cop noted. "I replied 'OK, so you don't like him, yet he handed you [the methamphetamine-filled beanie] and you took it?'" Yes, the man replied.

At this point, the cop looked up the street and saw the older man with the young man in tight white pants. "They are walking in circles because they are scared," the beanie man said.

The cop searched the older man and found suspected meth in his wallet. His satchel contained a canister filled with 10 grams of meth, a digital scale, and a glass pipe. A computer search revealed the older man is wanted for fraud. The cop hauled beanie man and the older man to jail. Apparently, the younger man in tight white pants and a white tank top didn't have any drugs on him — so he went on his way, strutting down Cheshire Bridge Road.

Pills, thrills, and chills

In Old Fourth Ward, someone called 911 because a man refused to leave a building on Ralph McGill Boulevard. A cop raced inside and saw the suspect leaning against a wall in the front lobby. The man screamed, "I'm waiting for the mayor and Channel 2 News. Where is my mother and why is everybody watching me? What the fuck?"

The cop ordered the man to follow him outside. "All fuck man, for what?" the man replied, yanking his hand from the cop's grasp.

The cop twisted the man's wrist and arm behind his upper back. The man fought back and the cop took him to the ground. The building's security chief said, "We have video surveillance of the whole incident from when he ran into the security booth, and then ran by security into the building and started running up on employees." Quickly, the cop arrested the high-strung man. "I had some methamphetamines and I feel real fucked up, sir, and I can't breathe," the man hollered. "Oh shit a methamphetamine, I can't feel my face."

Medics said the man's pulse was way too high and took him to a hospital. The man, 30, hails from Sandy Springs.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.

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