The Blotter: So selfie-absorbed

On Peachtree Road, a 44-year-old Alabama woman driving a white Mercedes stopped in front of a Buckhead restaurant's neon sign — blocking rush-hour traffic. She hopped out of her Mercedes and tried to take a selfie, posing near the restaurant sign. During her self-portrait attempt, the woman yelled profanities at other drivers trying to turn into the restaurant's parking lot.

A young restaurant employee tried to deal with her. "I approached in a friendly manner to ask if everything was ok," he recalled. "She kept daring me to call police" and called him a "stupid motherfucker." He got his boss.

The restaurant manager walked outside to reason with the woman. "She rolled up her window when I tried to speak to her," the manager said. "She then opened her sunroof and yelled, 'Call 911 bitch, I dare you.'" When the manager called police, the woman "pulled forward — at high speed — and parked in my valet parking area." The woman refused to move her Mercedes and cranked up her radio, blasting music until police arrived.

A cop noted the ear-splitting volume. "Upon my approach to the car, the radio in the vehicle was extremely loud. Loud enough so I could hear each word of the song audible to make out the lyrics clearly from 75-100 feet away."

The cop asked the woman to please turn down her radio.

"Fuck you," she responded.

The cop: "Again, I asked her to politely to turn down the radio."

"Fuck you," the woman said. "Hold on a minute while I take a selfie."

Turn the music down, the cop asked again and again.

"Fuck you," the woman answered.

Get out of your car, the cop ordered.

"Can't you just hold on and let me take a picture?" the woman bellowed.

Get out of your car, the cop repeated.

"Fuck you, make me!" she yelled. "Fuck this, I'm leaving."

The woman tried to put her Mercedes in drive, with the door open. The cop promptly handcuffed her. While "cursing uncontrollably," the woman reportedly threatened the cop, by stating "she wanted to fucking kill me and get her boys to 'retire' me," the cop noted. A restaurant employee witnessed the woman's diatribe. "I heard her threaten to have the officer 'cancelled' and for her male passenger to 'murder this mother fucker.'" Next, the woman refused to get out of the patrol car until "we treated her with dignity," the cop noted.

AT THE POLICE PRECINCT
"Once we got to the precinct, she would not cooperate at all, saying all sorts of racial slurs and cursing the entire time," the cop noted. He gathered up the woman's belongings that she could not take to a jail cell, including several pieces of jewelry, cell phone, makeup pouch and purse.

AT THE CITY JAIL
A corrections officer asked the cop to remove the woman's handcuffs. As soon as her hands were free, the woman punched the cop, "swinging a balled up right fist and striking me in the left portion of my chest, close to my neck," the cop noted. "Upon me trying to detain her, she spit directly into my face. A fair amount of saliva hit me in the eye," the cop noted. The jail corrections officer had to put a spit mask over the woman's mouth.

At this point, a jail official decided the woman was too unruly for Atlanta City Jail to accept. He told the cop to take the woman to Grady Memorial detention center.

AT GRADY
The woman refused to get out of the patrol car. She was "completely uncompliant," the cop noted. Eventually, they had to strap the woman on a hospital stretcher to get her inside. According to the police report, the woman had no injuries at all. "I also had to stay at Grady to get blood drawn due to the woman spitting in my eye," the cop noted.

THE WANDERER
In Kirkwood neighborhood, a woman was sleeping soundly — until she heard someone rumbling around inside her home. The woman assumed it was her 21-year-old son — and she called out his name. No answer. The woman got up and quickly discovered a strange young man wandering in her home. The woman demanded he get out. The strange man did not acknowledge her request. Then, he walked out the back door, around the house, and came back in through the front door. When an officer arrived, the woman said the man was currently asleep in one of her bedrooms. The cop repeatedly tried to wake him up — no luck. Eventually, the cop administered his wake-up-for-sure method on the man by "shoving his body firmly and applying slight pressure behind his earlobe and chest sternum." Suddenly awake and groggy, the man said he had no clue how he got to Kirkwood. He said he went out drinking with friends in East Atlanta Village — and he thought he was "going into the basement" of a bar, when he entered the woman's home. The woman said the wandering guy didn't harm or threaten her in any way — and her front door locks are "flimsy" and probably weren't locked properly.

TWISTED DREAMS
One day after Martin Luther King Jr. Day celebrations, a cop spotted a fortysomething man scooping up coins from the reflecting pool at the King Center on Auburn Avenue. The man bolted and the cop sprinted after him. After a brief foot chase, the cop nabbed the man and arrested him. A computer check revealed the 43-year-old man had an outstanding warrant for cocaine possession in Fulton County. He went to jail, charged with stealing coins.

Items in the Blotter are taken from actual Atlanta police reports. The Blotter Diva compiles them and puts them into her own words.