Transforming The Shame Triangle: From Shame To Love Using Parts Work -- Jessica Fern & David Cooley In Conversation With Mara Collins

From the venue:

Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work — Jessica Fern & David Cooley in Conversation with Mara Collins

This event takes place in person at Charis and on Crowdcast, Charis' virtual event platform. This event is free, but registration is required for virtual attendance. Click here to register to attend virtually. Please read the in-person event guidelines at the bottom of this page to be sure you can participate in the event. Charis welcomes Jessica Fern & David Cooley in conversation with Mara Collins for a discussion of Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work, where authors Jessica Fern and David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they see as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want.
Trauma, attachment wounds and external criticism can leave us battling a sense of shame and inadequacy that can keep us from thriving personally and in relationships. In Transforming the Shame Triangle, integrative therapist Jessica Fern and restorative justice facilitator David Cooley use a synthesis of Internal Family Systems and Narrative Process to identify the three parts that they see as the greatest barriers to achieving the life we want.
The Inner Critic, Shame and the Escaper are players in an internalized drama triangle, acting as perpetrator, victim and rescuer. Together, they create the Shame Triangle, which can trap us in ineffective survival strategies that prevent us from embracing and expressing our true selves.
Through practical exercises and accessible explanations, readers are guided to shift from a state of self-critique to one of self-support--transforming the Shame Triangle to a love triangle. Using parts work, Fern and Cooley open a path to healing and transformation, building a foundation of authenticity and integrity in self and connections, and ultimately creating a more fulfilling life.
About the Authors
Jessica Fern is a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional and an integrative practitioner, drawing on decades of experience and training in somatic, narrative, psychotherapeutic and spiritual therapies. Through her private practice, Jessica works with individuals, couples and people in multi-partner relationships to help them break free from reactive patterns, cultural conditioning, insecure attachment and past trauma—empowering them to embody new possibilities in life and love. 
David Cooley is a professional restorative justice facilitator, diversity and privilege awareness trainer, and bilingual cultural broker. He is the creator of the Restorative Relationships Conversations model, a process that transforms interpersonal conflict into deeper connection, intimacy and repair. In his private practice, David specializes in working with nonmonogamous and LGBTQ partnerships, incorporating a variety of modalities including trauma-informed care, attachment theory, somatic practices, narrative theory and mindfulness-based techniques.
Jessica's first book, Polysecure: Attachment, Trauma and Consensual Nonmonogamy, was published by Thorntree Press in 2020 and The Polysecure Workbook: Healing Your Attachment and Creating Security in Loving Relationships was released in 2022. David and Jessica are the co-authors of Polywise: A Deeper Dive into Navigating Open Relationships, released in 2023, and Transforming the Shame Triangle: From Shame to Love Using Parts Work, which will be released in October 2025.
About the Conversation Partner 
Mara Collins is a licensed marriage and family therapist in Atlanta Georgia. She has been practicing here for 15 years, integrating social justice and mental health. She is a queer white Jew who was raised by a pack of wild fundamentalist Christians. Mara is a harm reduction true believer, an existentialist through and through, and wants to be a toy maker when she grows up. She believes that one day Palestine will be free. She is captivated by all types of relationships, especially the ones inside ourselves.
The event is free and open to all people, but we encourage and appreciate a donation of $5-20 in support of the work of Charis Circle, our programming non-profit. Donate on Crowdcast or via our website: www.chariscircle.org/donate or in person at the event.
 Charis Books is a fully wheelchair accessible space with on site van accessible parking, two ramps, and additional overflow accessible parking nearby. Additional accessibility information can be found on the Accessibility page of our website. In-person event guidelines:

All attendees must wear a face mask during the event.
We will begin seating people at 7:00 PM ET.
This event will be live-streamed via Crowdcast. Click here to register to attend virtually.
As a reminder: If you are not feeling well, please do not come to the event.

If you have any questions regarding these guidelines or to request specific accessibility accommodations, please contact info@charisbooksandmore.com or call the store at 404-524-0304.
Please contact us at info@chariscircle.org or 404-524-0304 if you would like ASL interpretation at this event. If you would like to watch the event with live AI captions, you may do so by watching it in Google Chrome and enabling captions: Instructions here. If you have other accessibility needs or if you are someone who has skills in making digital events more accessible please don't hesitate to reach out to info@chariscircle.org. 
By attending our event, whether in person or virtually, you agree to our Code of Conduct: Our event seeks to provide a harassment-free experience for everyone, regardless of gender, gender identity and expression, age, sexual orientation, disability, physical appearance, body size, race, ethnicity, religion (or lack thereof), class, or technology choices. We do not tolerate harassment in any form. Unsolicited sexual language and imagery are not appropriate. Anyone violating these rules will be expelled from this event and all future events at the discretion of the organizers. Please report all harassment to Charis staff immediately or email info@chariscircle.org.

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