Bobby’s Reality Check: Jersey Shore Teen Mom” teach us about love”

Everything I know I learned from TV, and this week I learned a lot about love, sweet love. I learned how no one can find it, how it eludes people, and when they do find love, people mess it up with money, babies or The Situation.

Topping off this week was the return of Patti Stanger, CEO of Millionaires Club, in “Millionaire Matchmaker.”Patti suffers from what I call the Larry David syndrome, the shmohawk from “Curb Your Enthusiasm.” They are both brash, ugly, black-haired New York Jews who somehow ended up in La-La Land L.A. These two outsiders were faced with a choice: either dye their hair blond, lose weight and fade into the plastic masses, OR crudely insert yourself into everyone else’s life and make their life decisions for them. Patti obviously chose the latter, and now makes a living putting a few millionaires and bimbos in a bar, waiting for someone to like each other and calling it science.

This week the big P, having lost weight since last season and newly engaged at 45-years-young, used her skills to help  young thousandaires Omar and Jewy Thugstein. Omar and Jewy T made their fortune of tens and twenties of dollars starting their own business College Hunks Hauling Junk out of Tampa, Florida. I know what you’re thinkingthese guys couldn’t find love in Tampa, the city of romance? It’s true, they say, and that’s why they need Patti-Poo’s help. Jewy Gangstaberg is 28 and thinks he’s P.Diddy, talking like he’s a rapper and throwing his hands around. Patti can’t stand it, but I guess when you’ve got mad bank like a junk hauler, then swagger just comes with the territory. Patti’s torn about this one, first she says of Manischewitz Thugstein while watching his audition tape, “I don’t want that penis” but later admits she would have gone for Rabbi Thugblum if she was “20 years younger.” Try 25, Patti-Cakes. Jewy likes younger, bimbo girls, but Patti broke him of the habit by setting him up with a worldly, older woman, and guess whatthey’re still dating!