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True Blood:' season 3, episode 8

Breakin' up is hard to do, but there's always the break-up sex.

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  • John P. Johnson/HBO
  • Checkmate!

Breakin' up is hard to do, but there's always the break-up sex. Last night's episode explored the many complicated facets of the age-old coping mechanism. Let's break it down.

1. THE I-WISH-I-KNEW-HOW-TO-QUIT-YOU SEX: Sookie and Bill
After nearly killing her, Bill saves Sookie with a transfusion of his own V. She comes to immediately, screaming like a banshee. Then comes the "We need to talk" line, not a phrase anyone in any kind of relationship generally wants to hear, but especially not if you've just tried to murder your mate. "I don't know how to start forgiving you ... From the day we met, it's been one long bloody fight," says Sookie. The break-up is tragic in all the ways that star-crossed love affairs are, full of things unsaid and sobbing in the fetal position.

Bill, devastated, lashes out at Jessica upon returning home and ultimately "releases" her. Stubborn and scared, she refuses to leave Bill — they'll wallow in their misery together. Realizing they have more in common than he originally thought, Bill takes Jessica under his wing, teaching her how to fight werewolves. The two zip around the living room pinning each other down in anticipation of the attack that's coming for Sookie.

Sookie finds refuge at home in the arms of Alcide, and the sexual tension is almost too much to bear. But, werewolves are retaliating against his family and he leaves to take care of business, but not before a long, lingering goodbye on the front porch ("Sookie, I know you're tougher than a one-eared alley cat").

At night, Sookie waits at her bedroom window with a loaded shotgun. When Debbie arrives with two wolves in tow, Bill and Jessica show up, also ready and waiting. The vampires and werewolves begin to brawl downstairs and Debbie heads up to find Sookie, who has her bedroom door locked. Why Sookie doesn't blow the girl's brains out immediately is a mystery, except for that "True Blood" fans love a good cat fight, and good cat fight is what we get: Sookie backhands Debbie; Debbie right hooks Sookie; Sookie smashes Debbie's faces into a mirror, and later gets a running start and pounces on the girl, punching her face repeatedly. After slashing Debbie's face with a pair of scissors, Sookie regains the shotgun and sends Debbie away, wounded but still alive. I think it's safe to say that was a mistake.